[radio_flyer]

AJ's dad has ignored me for the past 6 months. He won't even answer the phone when I call. The pattern is when he is seeing a woman and in this case "he got married" he wants nothing to do with me. This is all fine and dandy with me. Just makes me face reality as to what a jerk he really is..

Oh to make matters worse, lol... AJ's "g/f", well I don't think she is his g/f anymore but she is the mama of his son, was visiting AJ's dad because his grandma was going back to Iran. ANYway, AJ"s g/ was talking to AJ's dad's sister.. ANd the sister was saying all this bad stuff about me.. Typical bashing from x in-laws I guess., Esp coming from the biggest slut I've ever known and she was bashing me......... Pissed me off...... Tried to tell AJ's dad and he totally ignored me..... Again a slap in the face... One day and I think that day has come, that I've learned........

OK just to clear the air. I don't love him and I don't think I hate him. Just he is AJ's father. AJ's father owes me nothing. I owe AJ's father nothing. I just thought being nice to each other was all that counted. I don't mind that he ignores. That isn't the issue. THe issue when he ignores me is like telling me to "fk off"... Which again is ok with me...... OH, AJ said that since his dad got married he doesn't even answer his phone calls...

Thing is AJ's dad comes knocking on the door this morning. Brings a computer for AJ to fix... ANd he asked me to fill out some paperwork for him.. I'm like sorta pissy to him... Saying I might try to fill out the paper work.. He says he needs it ASAP... ANd i'm like saying in my head "fk you"...

SO what would you do..... Would you fill out the paperwork for him...If I was AJ, I'd fix that computer sometime within the next l0 years.... But I'm not AJ. Which goes to show you how I feel about filling out anything for AJ"s dad. So what would you do?

[gayleggg]

Is the paper something you have to do? Are does he just not want to do it? I would probably tell him that you don't have the time to fill it out.

I will say after years at being at odds with my ex, we have finally come to the "we can be cordial phase" (My daughter is now 38)

[radio_flyer]

Turns out the paperwork is uninsured workman's comp and he had 21 days to fill it out and it is way over the 21 days.... SO not even sure if it matters now if the paperwork is filled out or not...

Seems we can be "cordial" but on his terms...I don't need that type of person in my life.

Just totally surprised me that he got so nasty towards me and then his lovely family jumped in....and I am like "what happened"... Guess not only was I surprised, I was hurt.. Had nothing to do with him being married.. I told him he could bring his g/f for the Christmas dinners I would cook for his family.... And he did and I thought she was great.. Several years I'd cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner for his family and friends because they had no where else to go.

OH well... life goes on... one never stops learning....

[seeker1950]

RF...how long have you and AJ's father been divorced/apart? How old is AJ? Forgive the questions, but it seems that you should not be fretting at all about this ex. He has obviously moved on, marrying again. If he doesn't answer your calls, why are you even calling him? Are the two of you still interacting in such a way that calls are necessary? Most people just move on, eventually.

By the way, I think it's very nice that, in the past, you have cooked holiday dinners and invited him and his new girlfriend. It shows that you are not emotionally bothered that he has new romantic interests.

As for asking you to fill out papers, is this something that requires your personal input for legal or medical reasons? If so , I'd just go ahead and do it, leave the papers outside in an envelope for him to pick up. If he's asking you to do HIS work for him re/filling out papers, just say you don't have time.

[radio_flyer]

Kind of a long story. Will make it short. AJ is 33.. We've been divorced 25 years.

Yes, we both moved on.... as in regard to our "relationship"... Just the new relationship that developed was the neighborly kind.... He would call me a lot and ask me to write letters for him... Or explain something that he didn't understand. He'd bring me food to cook for him. And if I needed anything, he'd get it for me...I seldom called him.. We were on friendly terms. I even got along with his mother.. Everything was cool....and friendly.........

And out of the blue, he stopped answering my phone calls, so I stopped calling him. ...
Guess it started when AJ's dad didn't tell him he remarried. AJ got the news from his g/f. And it was AJ"s g/f that told me that AJ's dad's sister was talking "nasty" about me...Like of all people, AJ's g/f.. If you know the history of AJ's g/f, then you would understand how hurtful it was that she was told before AJ that his father remarried....Guess it is all petty stuff. Should have known better to expect anything more from AJ's dad..

It isn't so much that I'm fretting over AJ's dad. I'm actually hurt and pissed that he started to mistreat me again.. One min he was nice the next he was hateful.. So I backed off and had no contact with him...

The thing is, when he "wants" something he is ooo so nice . I was surprised he came to the house this morning.. Why would he ignore me, say awful things to me and then out of the blue ask me to help him? If you treat me nasty I don't need you in my life. It was "AJ's father" that came to me. He is the one that needs to stop calling me...I stopped having any contact with him for several months ago...

Why then would I help someone that spit on me last week is the question.. If you thought someone was a "friend" and you were mistreated or betrayed by that friend, would you extend a helping hand when they asked for help?

He kicked me to the curb.. And now he asks me to help him? Doesn't make sense to me.. WHy doesn't his new wife or even his wonderful sister fill out the paperwork?

Bottom line is... After I cooled down.. I called him... Told him I don't have the answers to the questions on the forms and he said he'd tell me what to fill in the blanks with. omg... a thought just came to mind... but you prob don't want to hear what I'd fill the blanks in with...

All is cool seeker... I vented... he was and still is a pig... what can i say... Oh, and the paperwork has nothing to do with me. It is all personal info on AJ's dad...

Originally Posted by radio_flyer

he was and still is a pig... what can i say... Oh, and the paperwork has nothing to do with me. It is all personal info on AJ's dad...

Then I just wouldn't do it and I wouldn't lose any sleep over the decision or how he takes it. That's what I'd do

[unaluna]

Honestly rf you will get your reward in heaven! If I had to place a bet - which wasn't your question - I think you're going to do it, or at least find out why he is asking you to do it. I wonder if it's the tip of some iceberg? Something is up!

[Sabrina]

Since the paperwork has nothing to do with you, don't fill it in. And tell AJ's Dad that to his face.

[Sharp_Lace]

The paper work has nothing to do with you. Don't fill it out.

He's just using you. People do this if they know they can get away with it. If he can't return a phone call, you can't fill out his paperwork for him.
Don't let him take advantage of your kindness even when you guys are split up.

Don't be hatefull just tell him its not your information or business and that you can't fill it out and give the papers back to him and stop talking to him.