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#1
Dec 02, 2006, 12:35 AM
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These put a much needed smile on my face. Hope you enjoy them too.
Some simple truths of life by George Carlin... 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 6. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? 7. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 10. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong? 11. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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 His & Hers Depression Blog http://his-hers.ozzieblackcat.com/ Avon Website http://youravon.com/susanking |
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#2
Dec 02, 2006, 01:04 AM
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 Linda
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 What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. |
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#3
Dec 05, 2006, 02:42 AM
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Hi Linda.
 I'm glad somebody liked the jokes. 
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His & Hers Depression Blog http://his-hers.ozzieblackcat.com/ Avon Website http://youravon.com/susanking |
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#4
Dec 05, 2006, 03:16 AM
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Thanks, it just what I needed in the wee hours of the morning!
 TC Dee
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Parce que maman l'a dit 
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#5
Dec 05, 2006, 10:49 AM
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LMBO!!!!!! i love it!!! thanks susan
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Live life passionately, love unconditionally. Hope for the best, laugh your heart out. Cry when you need to, learn from the past. And remember what is meant to be will find its way. |
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#6
Dec 05, 2006, 04:15 PM
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1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Some sweaty things are nice to pet!   4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? But the apes are STILL evolving! They're darn close to being human! If we humans don't watch it, we'll be turning into apes... or have some humans already done that?  5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. One of those humans that's turning into an ape. 7. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Maybe she puts chili juice on 'em!  10. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong? No one has to hear him. He's STILL wrong!  11. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#7
Dec 05, 2006, 11:29 PM
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I don't know how I missed these before but they really brightened me up after a hard day. Thanks.
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