[TishaBuv]

I have no more interest in Facebook. I am connected to a few hundred people who I have known from every age of my life. I'll go on there for a minute once every few days and give a couple of 'likes' just to be nice. But I find it so shallow! No one is really talking about anything real because it has become too transparent. The whole world is watching. Having mixed business contacts with old friends and family-- there's really nothing to say.

People are posting their meals. Bragging about their kids. Photos of their vacations. I don't really care.

I never got together with any of these people in person since the reconnection when I got on Facebook. Now we're all just voyeuristic acquaintences.

What I really enjoyed was reconnecting with all my old boyfriends. I thought I would get divorced and reunite with 'the one that got away'. Plenty of people did. But, I am still hanging in there and working on my marriage. I am very lucky for that. And the exes didn't want anything more from me than an affair, which I didn't do. I'm fine with that and I honestly do like them all as friends. We are not crossing the line and my husband doesn't care that the exes are my Facebook friends. It almost destroyed us, but it didn't, and now I'm over it.

But now I am liking talking on here because we are talking about real things. We are being ourselves. And why are we able to be ourselves? Because this forum is anonymous! WTF?

I am pleased to say that I've never had a FB, Twitter or any social media account. I'm on here and LinkedIn and that's it. All my other friends are IRL. I enjoy the world around me not my smartphone screen. I love reading and contributing to posts on here but social media generally gives me the heeby jeebies. Always has.

[Cat_Lover_58]

I so agree with your comments! I don't care about what you ate, etc...so overrated!

I recently deactivated both my Facebook and Twitter accounts. They give you the illusion that you are connected, but actually very disconnected. I am better off.

[cakeladie]

I have never been on face book and I don't intend to ever be on it. My husband goes on every once in a while but my sister-in-laws like to start drama on it and I don't want any part of it.

[BlueCrustacean]

You've reminded me exactly why I joined this forum- because I couldn't discuss anything REAL about my feelings and problems on Facebook, and I have the ability to vent here. I still use FB for silly things and professional connections, but that's about it.

[healingme4me]

It certainly gives a false sense of connection, on many levels. I don't mind the conversations between myself and any of my friends from years past that live states away, coffee just won't be happening, neither will playdates for our kids, that's not the shallow part, though.
I'm glad, for the most part, that those that I actually spend time with aren't actually on my fb list. Plus my dad is on my fb ..awkward.
And this whole church thing...thing is stopping to think about what is shared, and half of the good meme type stuff has rather raunchy titles in the 'shared from' name.

And it's a bit weird to post my sons' birthday collages and notice significant discrepancies in 'likes'....are ya bleeping kidding me?!

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[eskielover]

After moving 2100 miles from where I lived for 54 years, I like FB to stay connected with the people I choose to stay in touch with & know what's going on in their lives (ah thank heavens my almost-x-H isn't on FB.

I used to connect via email but FB 's a lot easier & I can write shorter things to them....also communicate through that messaging along with texting people. When living all alone for the first time in my life...connections are nice. Enjoyed finding people from way back in my life too.....people I lost touch with otherwise. I don't stay on there like I do here but I do enjoy keeping in touch

[cakeladie]

FB has it's uses like if you live far way you can share pictures of your family etc. but the cattiness and meanness I can do with out.

I can't tell you how many times I have received text messages from my sister in law who is very religious about something my 19 year has posted then there is the arguments between her and her mom and sister and niece. I have enough in my life I don't need to get involved.

One time since someone had not seen a picture of me in a while they asked when I had died and why weren't they notified my husband got on line and said she's sitting right next to me. My daughter wasn't so nice oh well.

Been in recovering from Facebook for going on 3 years now. Joined when it first started and am happy to be living authentically.

[Perna]

I think a lot of it is in one's head? You use to enjoy it, now you don't, you enjoy it more here -- that's not necessarily about Facebook or here but about you and how you relate to the site and the other people you know on each site, where you are in your life with yourself now?

I had thousand of friends on Facebook, played a whole lot of the games "professionally" (paid money to get ahead) and got tired of it one day and deleted all friends who were not relatives or "real" friends and sent the relatives/real friends an email explaining I would not be on as often anymore. I "went away" for quite awhile after that but now I visit Facebook every day or two and enjoy my interactions with my sons, cousins, brothers, and friends, etc. I know them and that they care, we correspond on other sites and in regular email, etc. and it is just a nice support and way to keep up with far-flung lives.

[TishaBuv]

The evolution we have seen is funny. There were people I knew from places I lived, then moved, and thought I'd never see again, lost touch with. That was just the way it was. They didn't think to ever call me nor I them. Then when Facebook reconnected us, it was like a miracle. Everybody talked about reunions, but they never happened. We all just chatted online about the past and the present.

I feel even more isolated as a result of Facebook. When you see what everyone is doing all the time, there's no point to actually get together with them in person. There was even a recent SNL sketch about it.

Looking at photos of my 'friends' at parties I wasn't invited to, etc... If Facebook was around when I was a teenager, I'm sure it would have caused me misery.

It's so strange how we work and stay home, interacting with others via computer. Is this better?

Another thread on here mentioned a robot friend. Someone who will always be nice and supportive because they are programmed to be. Is that better?

I always joke how Epcot at Disney is other countries, only not real, but the best of those countries and better.

Remember the Woody Allen film Sleeper?

[BlueEyedMama]

Never got into facebook.

[Loial]

I never really saw the point in this bookface either. I have a page but I probably only check it every couple of months or so. All it is for me, is a handy way to get back in touch with friends from the past... or some of my extended family who live abroad.

If it weren't for that, I'd have deleted my account long ago.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Perna

I think a lot of it is in one's head? You use to enjoy it, now you don't, you enjoy it more here -- that's not necessarily about Facebook or here but about you and how you relate to the site and the other people you know on each site, where you are in your life with yourself now?

I had thousand of friends on Facebook, played a whole lot of the games "professionally" (paid money to get ahead) and got tired of it one day and deleted all friends who were not relatives or "real" friends and sent the relatives/real friends an email explaining I would not be on as often anymore. I "went away" for quite awhile after that but now I visit Facebook every day or two and enjoy my interactions with my sons, cousins, brothers, and friends, etc. I know them and that they care, we correspond on other sites and in regular email, etc. and it is just a nice support and way to keep up with far-flung lives.

You're right. I never really was able to relate to a lot of people, was never 'popular'. I always had only a few very close friends, boyfriends.

Also like you, I see my relatives on there. Most of them live very far and we rarely get together in person, so it's nice to see what they're doing. Although that causes drama because my mother is on there and can't stand to see how her grandchildren post intimate, embarrassing details about their lives; like they are drunk, fighting with their boyfriends, hate their bosses, etc... They'd be better off doing that on here! But instead their air their dirty laundry and all their friends comment on it. We're talking about 30 year olds.

There are these groups pages about the town where I grew up and my family is all over it. My mom posted all my baby pictures! My mom told every family story! I had to make sure none of my passwords were related to anything she revealed.

She's the one I suspect is a narcissist. Doesn't it sound like one to document everything about her life online? Why do I care?

I do like maintaining the connection to the people I like.

Connecting mind to mind with another person is very satisfying to me. Listening and being heard, exploring ideas.

I guess I'm at a loss for the things I can say on Facebook. It has to be wholesome enough and benign. The mix of the different groups of people stifled me.

[Sabrina]

I only went of Facebook for the first time just more than a year ago. I've had a totally positive experience from it. I have few "friends", mostly family and some friends. I get quite entertained with the "drama", it makes me chuckle. I do share a lot of Amy on Facebook but have never ever spoken about my private life.

I have "liked" several artists and pages (recipes galore) and enjoy the updates and cute / funny cat and dog videos! Small things amuse me.

I have learned "important" newsy things which I enjoy because I love to keep up to date.

I have bought a very precious, digital download only, 3 volume album called "Rarities" of Sarah Brightman that I would not have known about, were it not for Facebook. My only sadness is that I can't get these volumes as CD's to complete my collection, but that has nothing to do with FB.

I enjoy having my coffee in bed in the morning, and going through Facebook. Sort of like a news paper (only lots more gossip )

Hubby advertises one of his business enterprises and FB and has generated a little bit of business from that already!

[jbuttz]

Facebook sucks. It just takes your energy and time

[Webgoji]

It's well documented here that I loathe Facebook. Nothing has caused more problems in my marriage than Facebook. I just don't get what makes people look up their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends or why someone would think it appropriate to online flirt with a married person? And then wonder why I'm coming to break their knees?

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I hear this a lot. The solution has been simple for me: don't add every single Tom, ****, and Harry. Just add people you actually wish to communicate with. If you don't want to add them? That's fine, don't add them. If you don't care what someone posted, stop following them and you'll never see their posts again.

I have never added a crap ton of people. I have a grand total of 16 "friends" on Facebook, most of which are family and close friends. On Facebook I am pretty much me. I say "pretty much" because I do have to be careful since what I say goes to everyone, which can be problematic at times, but that's no different to talking to a group of people "in real life".

For the most part, I don't add people, giving them the "I only add close friends and family" line, which is true the majority of the time. I'm not very good at juggling a lot of friends or even people in general, so I tend to keep it to the few.

I do get sick of some type of posts, because I guess we can't all like the same things. There's a lot of Facebook clichés now...

1. Posting what you just ate.
2. Posting pictures of your kids.
3. Posting your workouts.
4. Posting something insanely private.
5. Posting something on your wall when it's a direct message to 1 person.
6. Posting lovey-dovey crap just to show everyone how loved up you are.

There are plenty more, I'm sure. I'm guilty of all at least one point or another, and am a repeat offender of 1-4. Facebook isn't for everyone.

The thing is, a lot of us kinda do these things anyway. Ever showed your friends and family pictures of your kids? Ever talked to you friends about a tasty meal you had? Ever exclaimed that you're tired from a good workout? Ever accidentally shared something a touch too personal? I guess things like Facebook just puts it all out into the open and it's kinda etched in stone. xD

That said, I do think Facebook creates the issue of making actual communication sometimes redundant. Want to get in touch with your friend and ask how he or she is? No need, it's all on their Facebook. Notice a cute person who is friends with someone you know, and feel like asking if they're single? No need, it'll likely be on their Facebook. Want to tell your friends you're working for NASA? ...you're not working for NASA, get off Facebook and get a real job. :P

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

It's well documented here that I loathe Facebook. Nothing has caused more problems in my marriage than Facebook. I just don't get what makes people look up their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends or why someone would think it appropriate to online flirt with a married person? And then wonder why I'm coming to break their knees?

It was Pandora's Box that opened the floodgates for all that. My husband calls it A**book. I had some unresolved feelings that I had told him about with exes. When that reconnection started, and I asked him if it was OK, he said 'you can do anything short of penatration'. I was so unhappy with him, that's why I reached out for the past. He gave me enough rope to hang myself. I wasn't looking for an affair. It turns out nothing happened. I actually admire his confidence, but what other man would have allowed that?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

It was Pandora's Box that opened the floodgates for all that. My husband calls it A**book. I had some unresolved feelings that I had told him about with exes. When that reconnection started, and I asked him if it was OK, he said 'you can do anything short of penatration'. I was so unhappy with him, that's why I reached out for the past. He gave me enough rope to hang myself. I wasn't looking for an affair. It turns out nothing happened. I actually admire his confidence, but what other man would have allowed that?

And a few poked suggestion and/or came running to have an affair. When I said I am looking for commitment, they ran. Why do men do that? Because they think they can. My grandma used to say 'A man would scr** a snake if it had hips'. I'm sure some women would just want a sexual fling, too, I don't mean to be sexist. Not me.

[fishin fool]

Proud to say I have never been on it and never will.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

And a few poked suggestion and/or came running to have an affair. When I said I am looking for commitment, they ran. Why do men do that? Because they think they can. My grandma used to say 'A man would scr** a snake if it had hips'. I'm sure some women would just want a sexual fling, too, I don't mean to be sexist. Not me.

I was completely (well nearly) with my husband. The exes are still on my Facebook. My husband doesn't care and now I don't either. It all played out and now we've moved on. I guess that's good. There is now closure.

Sure, it hurts my self esteem. I'm good enough to hit up for a fling, but not someone they'd want to love. I tell my husband the truth about how unhappy I am because of how he treats me and he so confidently ignores me because he knows I am going no where.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I was completely (well nearly) with my husband. The exes are still on my Facebook. My husband doesn't care and now I don't either. It all played out and now we've moved on. I guess that's good. There is now closure.

Sure, it hurts my self esteem. I'm good enough to hit up for a fling, but not someone they'd want to love. I tell my husband the truth about how unhappy I am because of how he treats me and he so confidently ignores me because he knows I am going no where.

I had to log on to comment...(even though it seems I am here too much!)

Tisha, this must have been/must be horrible. To have him manipulate your sense of self like he is is nothing short of abuse, imho...

I am so sorry. You are worth more than what he wants you to think.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I was completely (well nearly) with my husband. The exes are still on my Facebook. My husband doesn't care and now I don't either. It all played out and now we've moved on. I guess that's good. There is now closure.

Sure, it hurts my self esteem. I'm good enough to hit up for a fling, but not someone they'd want to love. I tell my husband the truth about how unhappy I am because of how he treats me and he so confidently ignores me because he knows I am going no where.

Yeah, see I treat Mrs. Webgoji like a queen. There's nobody out there that will treat her as well as I do. NOBODY.

So when the peanut squad shows up, it hurts me more that she'll even allow them to talk to her than anything they will pull.