[MOJO3]

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get 8 cats to pull a sled through snow."

Dogs come when called...Cats have answering machines and might get back to you.

A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred..."I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?"

lol

[MOJO3]

Ah...(carefully choosing words)...I can't see u...u may have to speak up....

[MOJO3]

A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only. The bus stopped and a lady carrying a large picnic basket got on.

The woman stopped in front of the man and grabbed the overhead rail so the picnic basket was above the man's head. Being a gentleman he offered the woman his seat. She quickly declined as she was only going a short distance.

Soon the basket began to leak. The man felt something drop on top of his head. As he looked up, it hit beside his nose and ran down across his lips.

He tasted it, looked up at the lady and asked, "Pickles?"

She replied, "No, no, puppies!"

(groan)

[MOJO3]

lol

I call truce.........no more fighting like cats and dogs...lol

Just be careful though...I'm like dynamite with a short fuse...Aries.

that made my face hurt, MOJO

[MOJO3]

Sorry about your face Faverody...you don't want a band-aid do you...want me to kiss it better???? I'm good at that...years of practice.

(privately...Faverody, I am so sorry to hear of your recent delimma...some people are such --ck-----s!!!) You never heard it from me.
"Whenever I feel blue...I just start to breathe again."

"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." F.P.Jones Faverody

[MOJO3]

THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.

5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

7. Run, romp, and play daily.

8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9. Be loyal.

10. Never pretend to be something you're not.

11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

18. No matter how often you are criticized, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

[MOJO3]

My dog Buddy when he was just a puppy...(see attachment)

Buddy was the best dog in the world...he followed my three kids around everywhere and was a welcome guest in our house for 16 years...and he was a darn cute baby.

[MOJO3]

I went to a movie the other day and in the front row sat an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of movie, you know the type.

In the sad parts, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny parts, the dog laughed it's head off. This happened all the way through the movie.

After the movie had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the movie. It's remarkable!"

"Yeah, it is," said the man. "He hated the book."

[MOJO3]

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breadfast."

I'm enjoying your sense of humor.

Thanks for the good chuckles.

[MOJO3]

or breakfast!!! (You know I type all day long and I stil csant figure it oudt>

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was redanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the only iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is becuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Anzanig huh?

I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

[MOJO3]

This has nothing to do with cats and dogs, but I am posting it anyway. Hey....everyone has a serious side.

"A man/woman is a success if he/she gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he/she does what he/she wants." Bob Dylan-before he killed off 95% of his brain cells with drugs...when he could still talk.

"Whenever I feel blue, I just start to breathe again."

Happiness---
"It is not a destination
It is a method of life."

My grandfather is hard of hearing. He needs to read lips. I don't mind him reading lips, but he uses yellow highlighter.

Reporters interviewed a 104 year old woman: When they asked her, "What do you think is the best part about being 104?" She simply replied "there's no peer pressure."

Here's a groaner.....An old fellow fell in love with a lady. He got down on his knees (I like men in this position...fofl)and told her there were two things he would like to ask her. She replied, "OK." He said, "Will you marry me?" She replied "Yes," then asked what his second question was. He replied, "Will you help me up." (Hey...I prewarned you...its a groaner!)

I like this one...

An elderly woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. When she appeared before the judge the judge asked what she had taken. The lady replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied "Nine." The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail--one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel the lady's husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?" The husband said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."

(See I told you I was sick....No one believes anything anymore)

(I'm having way to much fun...I have to go to bed!!!!)

[MOJO3]

Tommorrow....

Your Age by Chocolat Math...

Not always accurate but it hones math skills...

[MOJO3]

<font color="purple"> </font> Your Age By Chocolate Math

<font color="green"> </font>

1. First of all, pick the number of times per week that you would like to eat chocolate. (more than once, but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755. If you haven't had your birthday yet, add 1754.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit should be your original number (times per week you want to eat chocolate)

The next two numbers are...YOUR AGE!

(This doesn't work for me, it keeps coming out two years short)
Maybe I am not as old as I think I am!

[Juliaspavlov]

hey mine came out two years short too?

I thought I was going to see something about cats and dogs? I love cats and dogs but dogs are more fun!!!cats are great at comforting us.I went to a funeral then my cat slept on my heart and it comforted me tremendously. this trophy is for cubbie my cat who thinks he is a dog.....cheers everyone Jjulia.

[MOJO3]

Okay back to cats and dogs tomorrow...can't tonight/today...busy x 10.

I didn't know anyone actually read the forum. hmmm

[LittleMilly]

:P :P :P :P