Wanna know why you came to this website

my family abandoned me- and I knew that i couldn't do it alone

a friend of mine at the time suggested i join here- and it's probably 1 of the best things i've done, not only is it supportive- but i've made a lot of new friends here and it's like being a part of 1 big family.

I was heading towards a termination after almost 2 years of therapy and I was looking for people to relate too. I didn't know anyone who was attached to their T and had had to say goodbye to them. I felt all alone in my pain. When I finally found PC, it was such a relief.

I'm lonely. And a little twisted. And I feel trapped.

To be totally honest, online interaction does *very little* for me. But, it's better than no interaction with others, so I'm here

As I said in my intro, I very strongly prefer in-person interaction. I don't like online stuff. It's really more out of boredom and not having a choice, that I'm here.

That said, I have met some wonderful folks here. There are all kinds

My God ! So very sorry to hear this. For someone who's gone through such extreme adversity, you sure have a good head on your shoulders, Trippin.

As always,

i had depression after issue might be a bit silly but nothing silly in my own opinion everything precious for me and didnt have close friend to help. had only 1 back then but she didnt speak with me much and cant help and my parents dont think i've any mental issue.
so i start looking for any nice place to post in and found this suitable so i came here to share whenever i get depressed again even if i wont get reply sometimes at least i get free hugs

I'm glad you're here, skeezyks.

I have gave up! I never found the answer or the people to talk to, that I came seeking to begin with!!

My psychiatrist urged me to surround myself with like minded people. At the time I was struggling with several people changing the dynamic of my support group so I needed an alternative.

Went through depression (still am) and had a nervous breakdown labour two months ago. Was constantly bombed with images and urges to hurt or kill myself. Therapist said im most likely OCD but obviously there is no yes or no. Still bombarded with these thoughts, but they don't trigger a panic attack that often. Now im just trying to find my footing, fight the depression & OCD and find my goal in life. Plus this a really good forum.

I had just been discharged from my first inpatient and dx bipolar and found pc on my searches. I love it hear...I know I'm not alone and the support and community here is amazing

I had already had 10 years of major depression (started in 1994) & major anxiety & a serious bout with anorexia (age 42 at the time) & more suicide attempts than I can even remember. I got disability several years after loosing my career as a computer design engineer in the aerospace industry in 1994. Add a bad marriage that had started in 1975 to that picture, but it had become a NORMAL in my life just like the other dysfunctional things I had lived with all my life that I had no idea were playing into what I was experiencing......that was before I ever found PC.....ah, it would have been nice to have had PC during those years.

Fast forward to 2004. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer & was going through chemo & radiation, that spring a friend of mind from college equitation class back in early 1970's died of cancer. That summer, my mom had her cancer surgery, my mare's foal was due to be born & I had lost several other foals do to miscarriages so I was determined to take extra special care of my mare to make sure everything went well. I was on foal watch sleeping at the ranch in the back of my jeep. We had a forest fire & the smoke caused me to have a horrible asthma attack that landed me in the medical hospital for 10 days. That smoke made me feel so sick that I couldn't stand the taste of food....everything smelled & tasted like smoke even after the fire was over & I got out of the hospital. I started loosing a lot of weight again & the stress of everything that was going on around me was making me not feel like eating either. That kept getting worse not better. My mom was getting worse after her surgery & my foal was born but at 3 weeks she injured her back leg & cut it down to the bone. I was caring for her leg several times a day & then I was having to make an hour drive to go check up on my mom & try to get her to go to a specialist that could help with the lymphedema that her surgery caused. I was running on pure adrenaline at that point & loosing more & more weight which took me back to my first anorexia experience just 10 years earlier.

While I was on the computer looking for information on the lymphedema to get help for my Mom, I started looking for a place to deal with anorexia again & PC came up. I started posting a little but was so busy with everything else in my life, really didn't have much time.

Then all hell broke loose. I got my mom to a specialist but she said my mom had infection in her legs so couldn't give her the treatment. That was just before Thanksgiving here in the states. We celebrated Thanksgiving early because my daughter was in from Co. Realized that the infection wasn't clearing with the AB's for my mom so decided to push her oncologist to hospitalize her again. I talked to the specialist that morning & she said she was sure it was blood clots in her legs. Oncologist denied it. I pushed, mom was hospitalized & it was blood clots (think she had a mild stroke that previous weekend but no one was willing to confirm even in the hospital). That was when my mother's BF's daughter's friend got in the picture manipulating her way into being home care for my mom so she could stay at home rather than live the rest of her life in a care facility. Beginning of December when Mom got out of the hospital & I caught the home care person abusing my mom & stealing her ID & fighting with her.

It was so weird going through the trauma. I didn't have a computer at my mom's house of I would have posted about what was happening but I was calling my pdoc every day telling him the horrible things that were going on & no one believed that things like that happen to people like my mom while I was there living with it surrounding me not understanding at the time exactly what was going on until the picture became more clear until she finally OD'ed my mom on her morphine & I was able to get my mom out of the house & the home care person out of the house too....but the trauma continued into the hospital. Police got involved & it was like living through a nightmare. I stayed in the hospital with my mom for 3 weeks so had no computer time to post while it was all happening but it was good to have a place after it happened to be able to post because I desperately NEEDED support that was no where around me. By then I not only had worse anorexia I was dealing with from the trauma that I was in the process of living through & knowing that my mom was dying but no one was willing to confront of admit to that either. I felt like I was living in the twilight zone where I was seeing what was really going on & everyone else was in denial even with the police involved & validating what happened (though I was so good at protecting my mom, they didn't get the check cash evidence that they needed to arrest her).

From the end of December until March, I was in & out of the medical hospital with the anorexia & my mom ended up dying mid January. In a way it was good to be in the medical hospital because I had the chaplain support & the staff psychologist & pdoc of the hospital (didn't have a psych ward). My H was so bad by that point that I had no support anywhere it was like ME against the world & I was getting sicker & sicker from the anorexia daily as I got to the point where I couldn't eat or drink & ended up on IV nutrition after my Mom's funeral.

PC was a wonderful place to come to to sort through my thoughts & feelings though looking back, I was no where close to the reality of those thoughts or feelings or understanding of what was really happening in my life.....it was just good to have PC to post in & in some ways distract me from what I was dealing with. It also helped me understand PTSD better which hit immediately after.

My bad marriage was getting even worse because I realized through the bad just how much support he couldn't or wouldn't give & even though I finally got out of the medical hospital with the anorexia, there was no where to get help for anorexia that was triggered by stress & not body image issues even though in reality, if it hadn't been for my foal, the only thing I wanted was to just disappear into nothingness.

It was so wonderful to have PC to have a place to express myself even though I wasn't very good at it at that point because I had no understanding of ME but having a place to share & a place to read about other's experiences helps put the pieces of one's own puzzle together quite often.

PC was my lifeline when 2 years later I finally left my H & moved 2100 miles across the US to the farm I bought after selling my Mom's home & gave me the escape I needed from the bad marriage. PC has been a wonderful place to post to as I have grown so much over these last 9 years & it's been a wonderful place to share from my experiences that are able to help others.

Hard to believe I've been on here 12 years Oct 10. I have several here that I have known the whole time who have become very dear friends. The posts over this time are always interesting to look back at & read since I don't journal, this has given me a lot of insight of where I was & where I have come over these years.

LOL...I didn't even get into the internet until spring of 2004 but it sure would have been nice to have had this back in 1994 & during the black hole period of my life. It might not have been such a black hole if I would have had a place like this to post to during those years...but thankful I've had it since 2004 & that I had it when things were so bad & now when things are so good. Love the contrast of my life & it's helped me to understand some of the whys into my bad marriage & give me insights I otherwise NEVER would have had.

Because i was tired of being so alone and depressed and not being able to stop cutting. I also wanted to know what people would say to me.... and read their problems and know im not dealing with pain alone.

I came to ameliorate the bad and seek impetus for the better.

I'm not sure exactly how I came across this site, but I do know I was Googling depression or anxiety or something of the sort. Realized that I'm not alone in this battle.

I found this forum when I Googled BPD, I was also having a very difficult time in life.
I am pleased to say that after 5 years from first joining I am in a much better place than I was back then.

I was actually looking for a forum to socialize with other psychology students but this came up by mistake. Since I have mental health issues I thought I'd give it a try and I'm glad I did.

The reason I came here to this site, specifically today, seems pretty silly after reading the other posts, but overall I know it isn't. I was looking to connect with other people with depression who get stuck on the same symptoms as I do: trouble forcing themselves to shower, to do the self-care things sometimes. I knew I would feel better if I showered, long overdue, yet I couldn't make myself do it, couldn't move, you know? And I'm hypoglycaemic as well, and my blood sugar started going down and down, I was nearing crisis mode, yet could I get up and make myself eat? Nope. I was yelling at myself to grab the ice cream out of the freezer, anything, before I hit bottom. I couldn't move. Finally, after reading some more posts, I went and got some sugar and water in the kitchen. This total lack of motivation is one of the most confusing parts of depression for me and I have dealt with it all of my life, since childhood, and I am now 47.

It goes in cycles, long cycles, and I should be feeling better by October, but the bugger is really hanging in there this year. I know it helps me to connect with other people who are dealing with the same issues. For instance, I stopped reading at one point and went and had a long shower and feel so much better. I appreciate your being here. Thanks.

Thank you so very much for being here and asking this question. My answer made me feel silly, really it did, but being able to speak the truth, knowing I would be understood, and then seeing I was acknowledged made all the difference in the world. It allowed me to overcome the hurdles of this day. I managed my self-care and more. I had completely forgotten the outstanding power of "the buddy system"...of just KNOWING that at the same time I am having to work so darn hard to make myself wash the floors, clean the bathroom, "do the do things", others just like me are also struggling to get through it, but somehow we manage. Together. Thank you SO MUCH for hearing me. I felt so incredibly alone today before I came to PsychCentral. I didn't realize just how alone I felt until I teared up seeing that a couple of people acknowledged reading my post. I even got a hug! A much needed hug. Blessings to you all. I will be sticking around.

I was (still am) looking for answers about life, personal struggles and emotions related to several aspects of my life..

Must say you'all are a friendly and wonderful community!! I'm loving it!!
I'm showing up now everyday!

Cheers to you all!!

It's nice to read that you're finding Psych Central so helpful. I've also found it very helpful. A lot of supportive, friendly people here. I'm very grateful.

I was looking to talk with people about depression. It has been an invaluable in learning about depression and many other issues.

Another site that I went to closed down, and I thought I'd find somewhere new. This never felt like my home though, so I'm mostly a stranger here.

support and community

After becoming downright obsessed with someone, whom I only knew from online interactions, and said person then turning down my romantic advances, I had a huge meltdown that included an emergency evaluation at my local psych hospital. After the doctor I saw tweaked my medications and said to start seeing a therapist, I decided I should also seek out an online community where I could find support and understanding to help me along with the process of healing and breaking my obsession. After a quick Google search, I wound up here, and haven't looked back.