[Medusax]

Does ANYONE ever feel that being a good, productive, mature, responsible human being is not all it's cracked up to be? I see people who have never given a damn about anything or anyone, who work sporadically, use people, etc, and they seem to be having a lot more fun than I am...... I find that maddening. Anyone else? This sentiment began Friday when my bank turned me down for a loan that I was going to take out to help a friend who both needs and deserves the help. I have excellent credit that FAR exceeds amount I was going to borrow, and NO DEBT except my house payment that is split three ways. I have never borrowed money before and have been with that bank for 8 years.

[eskielover]

I tried to get a homeequity on my fully paid for farm but thanks to my ex & the fact my name was still on the home loan I walked away from & he let it get into foreclosure, I couldnt qualify because of him.

The good thing is that in the long run I borrowed money I have availsble on a life insurance policy & can just make the interest payments. Yea, my daughter will get less when I die but the value of my farm will be greater.

Its irritating but I actually came out better off with less REQUIRED payment amount.

I avoid paying interest when at all possible. Big items I always put on 12-18 month pay without interest & make sure its paid off so I dont pay interest. They hate that I do that as they make no money off me but after living with a finabcially irresponsible H for so many years, being responsible feels GOOD.

It sounds like you didn't get the loan because you have no credit history.

And yes, I do get miffed when I see those around me swim far too easily in this ocean of life when I try to do everything and can barely keep my head up. There are those on the extreme too who will fall in a bucket of crap yet come out covered in gold. My brother is one of these. He is irresponsible and immature yet seems to have it all. Life seems too easy what with everything handed to him. At age 48 he still has the sense of entitlement of someone much younger. The latest? He once again quit a job and sat around doing nothing only looking for a job when his severance came to an end. He walks in and cons his way into the first position he applies for - six figures too. How the heck does he keep doing this?

It miffs me to no end.

Meanwhile I feel like I can't win.

[19J82]

I know the frustration! Though for me it's more that I've been struggling to get any mental health support because I present well and I have sought to understand my condition. I haven't seen a mental health professional since being diagnosed 6 months ago!
I know of people though who just don't care about their health, take as many substances as they can, they steal to fund their habit and because of this they get offered all the help available but turn it down until they get sectioned and hospitalised. Only then do they comply and that's just so they can get out again. Grrrrrr.

[Medusax]

@justafriend..I have two credit cards with a high limit that are completely clear. I have plenty of credit history. I also watch the ones that jump from job to job, not building a retirement account or anything, just keep right on going.... "Hey..look at my new big screen!!!!' While I stand there, working 45+ hours per week and living below my means, thinking..."how???"

[MuseumGhost]

It's tough, when we have the best intentions and have been good, responsible people, and yet...things do not turn out the way we had hoped. It can be very frustrating, and tempts one to think that somehow there is no point in carrying on being good.

But I can assure you, I know that, down the road, you will find there might just be a better option out there for achieving the things you want to do.

I know that sounds all---"Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm", and that---but, in time, some sense can be made of this.

All my best to you. (((I wish I had more friends like you!))))

Yes. Being a "mature responsible adult" isn't worth the effort to me, therefore, I choose to keep the mentality of a child/teen because it makes life more fun for me.

I mean, what is the point of being mature and responsible? How does it benefit me? It would require a lot of effort for me to change so is it worth it? I don't think so.

More responsibilities and more things to chain me down isn't good. One can make an income these days without being fully "mature", especially if one is intelligent and capable of critical thought. One can find romance without being "grown up" even if it might be harder. So tell me, how does it benefit me to change?

It benefits society far more because society wants you to be the perfect good little slave working your butt off your whole life as little more than a cog in a machine so they can milk you for what they can and dispose of you the moment you outlive your usefulness either by getting sick or old. Humans are conditioned to be good little servants by being told they need to go to school, then go to college, then start a career, then get married, then have children, then grow old and retire and those who want to live life their way even if they don't act like society wants them to are labeled as "childish" or "selfish" and I for one, would sooner die than take the path society wants me to do; I am my own person and if they don't like it, they can go screw off.

If anything, people with a more childlike mentality get more out of life. Life is too short to be unhappy for other people. I will live life with my "immature" mentality having more fun, getting more out of life, having more sex, and having less struggles than the so called "normal" people.

That is all

[Sunflower123]

I've seen people who are not good people at all (bad character, no human decency, no integrity) and they get ahead DESPITE these traits. Sometimes I think it even helps them. It does annoy me so I try not to focus on it (1 is in my family).

I'd like to know how your plan works out. Interesting.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I've seen people who are not good people at all (bad character, no human decency, no integrity) and they get ahead DESPITE these traits. Sometimes I think it even helps them. It does annoy me so I try not to focus on it (1 is in my family).

I'd like to know how your plan works out. Interesting.

^THIS^

The simple fact of the matter is that the days are gone where all you needed to get ahead in life was integrity, a strong work ethic, and good character.

In the modern world, one needs to be ruthless and cunning to get ahead. If you aren't willing to sink to any low to achieve your goals, others won't hesitate to walk all over you to get ahead in life.

You are either a victor or victim in this world; and I would rather die than be the latter ever again.

[MuseumGhost]

for DIMF:

I am certainly no silly little "slave", either to my conscience or to my social obligations.

I just sleep better at night knowing I haven't trampled anybody to get what I need. (I have been trampled, used, stepped over and harmed by people behaving this way.)

I would take another look at how you are viewing life overall, before you go making any gross, sweeping generalizations about people in the future. Your approach is terribly simplistic and self-serving, and it's bound to gain you many enemies before you're all through.

Time and experience have taught me that compassion is a much better ethos to embrace, than undiluted self-interest is...for so many reasons.

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

for DIMF:

I am certainly no silly little "slave", either to my conscience or to my social obligations.

I just sleep better at night knowing I haven't trampled anybody to get what I need. (I have been trampled, used, stepped over and harmed by people behaving this way.)

I would take another look at how you are viewing life overall, before you go making any gross, sweeping generalizations about people in the future. Your approach is terribly simplistic and self-serving, and it's bound to gain you many enemies before you're all through.

Time and experience have taught me that compassion is a much better ethos to embrace, than undiluted self-interest is...for so many reasons.

I merely council wisdom. If you don't wish to hear it, so be it.

I think there is a lot of unfairness in life, personally it was a challenge for me to accept that and shrug it off - I had (still do just a lesser degree) this sense of fairness and belief in justice which was continually offended, it wore me out.

My own perspective is being 'good' and responsible is for my family - I cannot control the rest of the world but what I choose to do impacts on them so I try to do my best for them even when it's not easy.

I also to a lesser degree choose my charities to support and target my time and energy towards those people. There are some amazing people out there.