[LiteraryLark]

I don't think I can. It's been five days since my parents left for vacation. I haven't seen any of my friends or loved ones since then and I've had my first three days of work and my friend A is too busy to talk, my parents can only have brief messages with me, but I have been able to talk to my grandparents but they are getting ready for their own vacation. I feel really sad with this new job being such a big deal and then no face to face contact or be able to really go into details about how I'm feeling and how work is going. Last night I called my grandparents and asked if they had plans for Easter and they told me they were getting ready for their vacation, and a few minutes later after they hung up they called me back and told me I can come visit them today because they felt bad knowing how sad and lonely and stressed I feel and that we can have dinner.

But here's the thing...if I lived on my own, then I will have no one to come home to and see and talk to besides my cat...I'll be isolated. Right now my gripe is that I can't stand the politics of my parents work and have to listen to how miserable my parents are and how they can't retire, and if I lived on my own I can get whatever pet I want...a dog, a snake, a bunny, even an octopus if I really wanted to...but then...I'd still be isolated even in a house full of animals.

I don't know if I can handle being on my own...if I had a boyfriend I'd live with them...and my parents said in six years I can live with them when they retire or I can take care of my grandparents, so there's no pressure to "have" to move out. I can stay with them as long as I'd like. But sometimes I wish I could move out and have my independence, live my own life. But I'm worried about the isolation.

I usually post some kind of question as some kind of "reward" of making it to the end of my post, but there is none. Comments and advice are welcome, but right now I feel very sad and lonely and isolated and bummed that I don't think I can handle living on my own.

I won't sugarcoat it - living alone can indeed be lonely sometimes! I ended a long term relationship a bit over a week ago and some days are worse than others. The loneliness can come out of nowhere and it definitely doesn't feel good.

That being said, I think that living alone and independently could be a good thing for you. You would learn to enjoy your own company, and not feel dependent on the company of your parents and grandparents. You would still be able to call them and visit them, and if you lived alone, it would make those visits all the more special.

Also I'm not sure if you're looking for a romantic partner at the moment, but many people steer clear of those who are still living at home with their parents. Independence is a big deal to most people so having your own place would probably open up more doors in that department.

So despite the occasional loneliness, my vote is that living alone would probably be a good thing for you. However, you need to look inside yourself and think about what you truly want. If that is living at home for the rest of your life, so be it. This is your life, nobody else's.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I won't sugarcoat it - living alone can indeed be lonely sometimes! I ended a long term relationship a bit over a week ago and some days are worse than others. The loneliness can come out of nowhere and it definitely doesn't feel good.

That being said, I think that living alone and independently could be a good thing for you. You would learn to enjoy your own company, and not feel dependent on the company of your parents and grandparents. You would still be able to call them and visit them, and if you lived alone, it would make those visits all the more special.

Also I'm not sure if you're looking for a romantic partner at the moment, but many people steer clear of those who are still living at home with their parents. Independence is a big deal to most people so having your own place would probably open up more doors in that department.

So despite the occasional loneliness, my vote is that living alone would probably be a good thing for you. However, you need to look inside yourself and think about what you truly want. If that is living at home for the rest of your life, so be it. This is your life, nobody else's.

I'm at the age where it's still normal for those in their early-mid 20's to still live at home. Only two people in my circle live on their own, both of them have parents owning the property and they get cheaper rent. One of them is anti-social so she's fine being alone, the other one gets very, very lonely and hates the isolation.

A lot can happen in six years (when my parents retire). They want to move to Oregon and I want to stay in California. My grandparents may be ready for a caregiver by then. I have no idea. I have to play it by ear and for now I want to stay at home.

[metalchick]

What about finding a roommate? Not only will it help with household expenses, but just knowing that someone else is there can be conforting without losing your independence. What about the friend that doesn't like to live alone? Maybe you guys can be roommates.

[lizardlady]

Lark, living alone has pros and cons. I'm at the opposite end of life from you. I live alone except for my critters. Sometimes it's wonderful, sometimes it sucks. Kind of like living with someone.

coming home to a house with no one else there -
con - empty house and no one to talk to
pro - after a hard day I don't have to talk to another human being until the next day

On the plus side for me -
I come and go as I please.
I eat what I want when I want.
If chores don't get done I have no one to blame but myself. (I used to feel taken advantage of by hubby because he did not do any chores.)

It does get lonely sometimes though. Like when I've had a bad day and need someone to hold me and tell me it will be okay. When something exciting happens in my life and I want to share the news.

When I start feeling like "poor me" because I'm alone I stop and weigh the pros and cons. For me the pros win out. And I've looked for ways to lessen the hurt of the cons.

[tryingtobeconstruct]

I feel your pain. I'm 50 and I'm begging my parents to set me up with a minimal trust fund so I don't have to keep going to my miserable job. I'd get another job but I've been fired from every job I've ever had except this one, and I was just as miserable on those jobs as this one. It's humiliating to be in this situation at my age, but I'd still prefer a poverty level trust fund to my current life.

Taking care of yourself and living on your own are difficult things, especially in our screwed up modern world. Sending positive energy.

It will be a tough learning experience but I believe in the end the wisest and most rewarding thing you can do for yourself.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by metalchick

What about finding a roommate? Not only will it help with household expenses, but just knowing that someone else is there can be conforting without losing your independence. What about the friend that doesn't like to live alone? Maybe you guys can be roommates.

I can't live with someone I don't know or even someone I can get to know. I don't want to live with a stranger when I can live at home. My friend and I are talking about living together but she wants to live in San Diego which is about an 8 hour drive away and I don't know how I feel about that or even if she wants me to move to San Diego with her.

[Nicknamed Mouse]

Living alone has pros & cons. For the introverted & sensitive soul there is a space for rest. But living alone brings with it all the responsibilities of life but dealing with them all alone.... it can be tough & emotionally isolating. Hence I find myself here online looking for like minded souls so I do not feel alone in my own mental world.

[gina_re]

IMO the biggest thing to take into consideration about living alone is the cost. You have to factor in your rent and utilities, groceries, insurance, gas money, cable...in addition to your current expenses (i.e. phone bill). If all the math works out, you're already headed in the right direction.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. We have opposite problems. I live in a house with 3 other family members including a moody teenager and I'm an extreme introvert and loner. I like making connections with other people but I yearn for my own place for just me once my daughter goes to college this fall.

[~Christina]

My daughter who has bipolar just doesn't do well living alone. She has a roommate(s)

Even if they go days without really seeing each other it's okay she knows they are there at some point.

She moved out of my home at age 20 because she wanted to prove to herself she can make her way in life, has it been easy ? Nope. She often scrapped by for food , even being a vegetarian it's not easy.

She had to become very aware of what she spends money on.

She loves going to the movies , she goes almost weekly to counterbalance that she seldom ever eats out and brown bags her lunches. She has a strict budget for clothing or makeup etc etc , she prioritizes every dollar.

She changes her own oil, last week she had a headlight bulb on her car go out instead of paying someone she YouTube'd and changed it herself for less than 15 bucks.

She has a kitten, well 6 months now , she put 100.00 in the envelope first and now it's 20.00 a week added to envelope to pay for food litter flea stuff and next round of shots.

She has no need for tv , so she just has internet. She cuts all corners possible so she can live the life she wants.

She's fumbled a few times and had to regroup , but hell im 50 and I have fumbled too lol

Be realistic about moving out and or roommates.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My daughter who has bipolar just doesn't do well living alone. She has a roommate(s)

Even if they go days without really seeing each other it's okay she knows they are there at some point.

She moved out of my home at age 20 because she wanted to prove to herself she can make her way in life, has it been easy ? Nope. She often scrapped by for food , even being a vegetarian it's not easy.

She had to become very aware of what she spends money on.

She loves going to the movies , she goes almost weekly to counterbalance that she seldom ever eats out and brown bags her lunches. She has a strict budget for clothing or makeup etc etc , she prioritizes every dollar.

She changes her own oil, last week she had a headlight bulb on her car go out instead of paying someone she YouTube'd and changed it herself for less than 15 bucks.

She has a kitten, well 6 months now , she put 100.00 in the envelope first and now it's 20.00 a week added to envelope to pay for food litter flea stuff and next round of shots.

She has no need for tv , so she just has internet. She cuts all corners possible so she can live the life she wants.

She's fumbled a few times and had to regroup , but hell im 50 and I have fumbled too lol

Be realistic about moving out and or roommates.

She sounds a lot like me. My parents have been gone for a week on vacation and I'm having a meltdown from being so lonely. I almost cried today when my friend canceled on hanging out with me. My grandparents felt so bad for me they invited me up to their house for Easter. I really hate to be alone and I can't live with strangers so craigslist roommates are a big fat no.

Living alone is not for everyone and is definitely not for me. I hope it will be temporary for you.

I think it is important to try and be independent. I encourage you to try. One can be independent, on their own, yet still have other(s) close by. A roomate could be the solution. It would help financially, and the mere presence of another person could solve the problem you have with solitude. One can also be independent yet still reside at home - as long as one contributes to their full share of household responsibilities. I am of the opinion this will provide you a sense of confidence, completeness, and independence.

The thing about a roomate though is that you must cooperate. When will each have access to the laundry and what kind of schedule will be in place for using the kitchen. Perhaps taking turns cooking for the both of you could work. And, will things like the television be communal? Things to consider about having a roomate.

Living entirely on your own negates the above. You and only you make the decisions about such things in life.

I believe there are things you can do now to prepare for independence and the responsibilities of living on your own. Obviously saving money and collecting items you will need is one of them but you need to start taking responsibility for yourself now. Find ways to gradually become less dependent on your family and in your present situation. Else, it will be a massive hit to you for which you may be unprepared - not just financially but emotionally too.

What can you do now? If you aren't doing so already...

- pay rent
- contribute financially to the running and upkeep of the household (your share of utilities and food)
- contribute to daily chores (ie. cooking meals, laundry, house cleaning, outdoor maintenance, etc)
- become self-sufficient for clothing, phones, and other personal items you may not presently take responsibility for

Find ways for alone time whether it be out or around the home and start to stretch these periods out longer and longer.

Have great luck!

[cakeladie]

LL my daughter met a guy when she was 18 and overnight she moved out and in with her. He's very controlling

She works but he's got her fired from just about every job even the one she really loved at petsmart. Anyway for almost a year now we have made her pay for part of her cell phone bill and money each month for her insurance. She turns 21 this June and will then have to get her phone in her name and her own vehical.

She is often times very very lonely. She has lost most if not all of her friends. She now realizes how much work goes into cleaning a house. She has tried to move back home countless times but always goes back to him.

Back of the reason she does go back is him but part of it is also us. Living with your parents and in their home you have to follow their rules that is hard to do once you have lived alone.

Once you move out you will adjust but you need to make sure financially you can do it on your own. Emotionally you can do it. You can turn on the tv or radio and dance around and your friends will always be around.

Just make sure you are financially secure and have a healthy savings account for emergencies before you make the plunge

Good luck

I should point out to you that it has only just occurred to me that I was never truly on my own until I was 44! At 17 I moved away from home to university for two years but it was a room mate situation. From there I went directly into a marriage (19) and from there into another. There was only months in between so I can't really count that as on my own (besides, that was a military quarters situation where one really isn't left alone to fend for themselves). This really only just now swept into my mind. But I stand by my previous advice. It stems from my current situation, that I expected of my children, and the manner in which they have come to fend for themselves.

[Sensor]

Living alone really can seem a bit isolated but if you have friends and family, you will always have someone to talk too Besides there's always can be a virtual communication, personally I found many friends in such way
Also maybe you have a friend who can make you a company when you move? I mean that you can live together for some time and pay the bills, it's easier than making all these things alone, especially in the beginning

[DmitriyBronfman]

Try to find that the pros that you live alone

[possum220]

Life has a way of letting us know what we need to do and how to be in this world. Have to say that I have shared a number of places with friends. Thought it would be cheaper and it was but it never ended well. Lost a couple of really good friends.

I have lived on my own for quite a few years now. If I am on my own for too many days in a row it is not good for my mental health. So I suppose there is a compromise of making sure that I make plans to have contact in the real world. Having distractions like going to the library and planning walks in the day just to get out of the house. Volunteering and some form of hobbies. Having structure in your days and maintaining a support system is also something to be mindful of.

It is good that you are thinking about possibilities. Maybe start saving for the eventuality of moving out (regardless of it being on your own or not). Asking your family what might be suitable options for you as they would know what you like and don't manage so well with. Life will unfold as it tends to do.