Girl is copying how I’m dressing?

A girl I know is starting to dress like me and it’s making me uncomfortable. I wear very big glasses, have very short hair, and I wear a North Face hoodie everyday of the week. She is very heavy and I am much smaller. So we don’t look that similar so that people would confuse us.

She has never shown interest in North Face before. She also doesn’t wear big glasses and has long hair. Today I saw her wearing short hair, big glasses and a North Face hoodie. I’m very creeped out by this. I know she has very bad BPD and one of the symptoms is mirroring. But today she looks exactly like me and it’s creepy. Should I just ignore her behavior? Why is she choosing me?

It's likely just a coincidence. It is the day after Christmas after all and she may have gotten that hoodie for Christmas.

Yeah maybe it is. It’s just this girl looks exactly like me. Plus she has done similar stuff like this in the past.

Thanks for the reply.

Mirroring is not a major symptom of BPD. It's also defined as subconciouslu mimicking non verbal cues,.behaviors and such. It's not really copying clothes.

Either it's a coincidence or she is feeling insecure. I would suggest compassion, even though I know how irritating it can be. If by chance it brings her small comfort in this world, I would be happy for her.

Maybe she just likes how you look and wants to look like that too.Imitation is the highest form of flattery and you should take it as a compliment rather than feeling creeped out by it.Consider yourself a trend setter.And if you really want to entertain yourself,try different styles and see if they're copied too.When I was way younger,in school,I got copied quite a bit and I enjoyed watching all the other kids start copying my style,it made me feel good about myself.

Sometimes though,I wore some of the most ridiculous things,more as a joke,and enjoyed it when others began wearing the same things.They did it with hair styles I had too.

Sure wish I had that confidence now that I had back then.

Thanks. I have already done this with her. It started with me just stating certain things I liked. Certain hobbies, TV shows, seasons, types of animals. Then a couple days later she would announce that she had taken up this new hobby, or this was now her favorite season. Or she would post a random picture and there would be a picture with my favorite TV show playing in the background.

Now today she has dressed the same way as me. She has told me once before that she could care less about name brand clothes. I guess maybe I should try not to let it bother me. It’s just really difficult.

I would offer compassion instead of being creeped out but I could see how it could creep somebody out. But maybe she just likes your style and is mimicking yours until she can figure out how to tweak the style to make it her own. A hoodie is just a hoodie and glasses are just glasses.
The girl might admire how you look. Cut her some slack. I also see in some of your posts that you recently lost weight-so you obviously carried some extra weight yourself. Maybe the co worker is self conscious and is just trying different things to make herself feel better.
I’m overweight and very jealous of people smaller than me. I once was very thin so I know carrying extra weight can make someone feel like crap. Just be kind to her, you may find out more about her and then maybe it will help you not be so creeped out.

I think she's just very insecure and anxious.
I did similar things in the past. Not with clothes but with hobbies and watching series and music. I did it because I had no idea what I liked or what I enjoyed. I had no own opinions or tastes... I still occasionally try things just because they are popular even though I don't like them.
It's Likely a result of emotional abuse or neglect and the lady is simply trying to fit in and be accepted. She's scared of being seen as weird. She thinks you're "normal" and "accepted" so she tries to copy you hoping others will accept her. I copy others because it's safe and I don't have to be afraid of being called "weird".

If you want to help her compliment her when she shows a sign of her own personality.

Did this happen in the past as well? How often? Either way, I wouldn' worry too much, Mountaindewed. She probably admires you, or maybe she just likes the way you dress. Of course you don't have to hang out with her if you don't want to, but I don't think she's doing it out of malice. Sending many hugs to you

It’s been going on for about 2 years.

I see by your profile that you are in your early 20s. Is this girl of a similar age? It could be that she is copying your style while trying to sort out her own.

Don't we all kind of copy clothing,hairstyles,etc anyway?Don't we all see a hairstyle in a book or online and decide we want ours like that?Don't we do the same with clothing too?Even food,don't we see commercials or other people eating and it looks good to us so we eat the same thing?We even do it here at PC,we read posts and decide to post too.

It is kind of different when it happens in our real lives but that's just what we humans do.

Yes this girl is a similar age. Other people who know her are also creeped out by her. They say they don’t want anything to do with her because she is stalkerish. So it’s not really just my own interpretation of her. Others feel this way too. I’ll try to be more understanding though.

As someone who was long an outcast because I didn't fit in, yet desperately tried, it honestly pains me to read this. I know exactly what it's like to be the misfit.

I know you aren't trying to be mean. That's not what I'm reading here. You are simply looking for a way to handle it. I'm going to suggest empathy and compassion. Never having walked a mile in her shoes, we have no idea what is going on in her life or her head.

I'm not saying you have to be friends with her. I'm only suggesting that as a whole, we all have different ways of coping.

I agree that she probably admires your appearance and for your own entertainment, maybe try a new style that suits your personality. I know how difficult it is to mature a certain style, but be bold. What is the worst that can happen? Recently, I found myself wearing lots of black. As I was dressing, Black long sleeve with black sweater over I had put on my joggers while I finished my hair and face. Now I am in all black, lol. (the kind of crisp black that almost brightens you as you wear it) I almost forgot how it feels like to walk around so bright. Well, I felt good anyway, so maybe treat yourself to a new outfit, a new pair of slacks or skirt, or a new pair of shoes. Good taste can't be learned, its known

Does she do anything to threaten your personal safety?

No. I’m not trying to be mean, and I’m not trying to sound like a jerk or anything. That’s not my intention. It’s just bothering me. That’s all. I really didn’t know who else to talk to about this. My mom says she is being creepy. I just wanted others opinions and I got them.

Mountaindewed, if you and others are getting a creepy vibe off this person listen to that feeling. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt in my previous post. Please be careful.

The common threads here seem to be that you might feel more flattered by her behaviour and that you might show some compassion. I agree with these ideas; but, I also understand why this might proove a difficulty for you. Are you able to simply talk to her about this? I see it as the only solution. Though yes, I know this can be incredibly intimidating. I just don;t know what else can be done short of you changing your style over and over. It might be as simple as saying, "Look, I am flattered you wish to take up my own style but it makes me uncomfortable."

I’m sorry if I caused that member to delete her account. I was not trying to be mean. That was not my intention. I’m sorry if it came out that way.

Is this girl approachable? Where do you come in to contact with her? Are you wanting to avoid her? Is that at all possible?

I don’t come into contact with her that much. She was just an old friend that I was friends with in Highschool. We used to be friends and talked regularly and got along. Then she started doing things like this. I talked with my mom about this. She said she’s either trying to be like me, or just admires my style. My mom says it’s best to ignore her.

Personally, people imitating me has bothered me too. I was always wondering why they do it. It got to the point that I got paranoid about it. I really don't know why people imitate us but it happens all the time. I read all the comments and they made me think. I once wondered if a particular lady who imitates me was wanting to be accepted. I really don't know the answer though. I realize when I was in jr. high I really liked the shoes and style of another girl and I bought the same shoes and because I really liked them. Maybe think of yourself as a trendsetter? At times being imitated did not bother me but now it does more and I am much older than high school now. I've decided just to ignore it. Everyone has a right to do as they want as long as they don't hurt anyone. Just some random thoughts of mine.

I could understand why the girls behavior might make someone feel a little creeped out, but I guess the question I have is has the girl actually done anything to make those around her fear for their safety? The OP said others are of the same opinion and think she’s stalkerish. I wonder what the girl is doing to make them think she is stalkerish. And I also wonder if people would have that opinion of her if she was a thin pretty girl mimicking the OP’s style? The OP described her as heavy? Or overweight? In my opinion if the OP is not creeped out to the point that they are fearing their safety-then if it was me I would just keep my distance and not interact so much. I mean like I said before, a hoodie is just a hoodie and glasses are just glasses (big or small) and short hair is just short hair. There is nothing groundbreaking there. Like someone else mentioned we mimic styles all the time. If I see an outfit I like that a friend has on, I will go buy something similar. OP, I’m not trying to dismiss that you are creeped out by her. I could see why it might be making you feel that way. I’m just also trying to understand from her point of view-reasons why she dressing like you. And I’m wondering if she just likes the style.

Hi, Mountaindewed,

I have been thinking about this off and on for a day, off and on. It's gotten my attention. I think her having BPD concerns me.

Ok, so, this is someone you know and have known for some time. She switches her taste and appearance to follow what you do. This might be insecurities and she is trying to belong somewhere. Or she's trying to please you and gain favor. Do you know anything about her home life?

That's got to be uncomfortable; I don't know what I would do if I encountered that in my life. I think it would be weird. She went to a lot of trouble, wearing similar glasses, getting her hair cut and the clothing.

Have you decided what you will do about it?