Pet Rules and Advantages

PET RULES:
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear you r clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

lol

hahhha!!!

I love the kiss-me-first THEN smell your friend's butt order of things.

LOL's

(((((AAAAA)))))

we breed abyssinian cats may we forward this to our cat breeding friends ?

9. Don't want to wear you r clothes
someone please send memo to my dog to stop stealing my cloths out of the clean laundry basket and taking it to his play rug LOLOLOLOLOL

>>> AAAAA....... To Funny ....

sooooooooooooooooooooo good..... the bathroom one..I loved...
I might also add for my doggie...

sticking your head in the shower... is just plain rude..

And might I add.... sometimes... I think my best friend comes over to see

my doggie first

then

me...

and that is just plain rude to.... heheheheheh

Zorah,

Forward away! I wish that I could give credit to the original author. My sister in law e-mailed it to me. We have 3 cats and 4 dogs. It was so perfect, I just had to share.

Free woof woof ( oppps wrong shower ) My mistake

> Sorry to cut in on your post AAAA hehe.

That posting proves again just how wonderful and clever you are!!!! That is Life in the real world of our family "pets" My son Mr Mustache meooooowwwwwed when I read it to him! By the way he is curled up on the fur - niture!

so true.
here is a rule for my pets
stop stealing my husband from me
dont sleep on his stomach I need it
dont hop onto the bed on my side the
second I hop out of bed
don't use my pillow

My rule is just because I am vertical in the morning doesn't mean the first thing I am going to do is feed you your canned food you have crunchies you can eat them while I potty, check email etc... I promise I will get you your canned food in a few minutes walking across the keyboard just annoys me even more.

Wanting to go out the minute you have come in annoys me..if you want to be out why did you come in? Same for if you are outside if you are outside why did you go out if you want to be in? Make up your mind.

Jbug

I especially like the "fur"niture comment!! Ha! I have a sticky roller lint/hair remover at home, at the office...

This is so cute. Thanks for sharing it!

Maybe some additional rules for visitors

Don't wear black, you will get white fur on it

Don't wear white, you will get black fur on it