[lupei16]

Today I went to doctor and take my prescription.I have been took pills two weeks，but still i can't help myself from quarreling with my family.They think I'm very sick and persuade me to be hospitalized.But Today the doctor said that i could just take pills and try to control myself from extreme emotions.The doctor strongly adviced me to find a job,but I'm So afraid of hurting others.I know that everyone has a Good side and sometimes they didn't mean to hurt me,and most of time I think a lot that interpret small gesture to disparity and took offended.But I can't help myself from that horrible feelings.And I so afraid that I will hurt other people.I cut down all my socialize,but still sometimes I will have conflict with the meal delivery or taxi driver. It seems like no one would help me,and I have to fight for myself.If I restraint my emotion,then it'll take a longer time to question myself and be frustrated.
I don't know what to do,please help me.

[winter4me]

It takes time for medication to work, and it can take time to find the right medication. It sounds like you really need a therapist to talk with regularly who can help you learn ways to deal with your emotions that are so overwhelming.
It can help to exercise regularly, and to do relaxation exercises, write, draw, listen to music that soothes you...
If you can, as you feel your emotions rising, close your mouth and breathe in to the count of four and out to the count of four and try to focus only on your breathing instead of expressing anger/frustration in the moment.
Is your behavior something recent for you or has this been going on for some time? What is your age?

[Hi IM Dan]

Originally Posted by lupei16

Today I went to doctor and take my prescription.I have been took pills two weeks，but still i can't help myself from quarreling with my family.They think I'm very sick and persuade me to be hospitalized.But Today the doctor said that i could just take pills and try to control myself from extreme emotions.The doctor strongly adviced me to find a job,but I'm So afraid of hurting others.I know that everyone has a Good side and sometimes they didn't mean to hurt me,and most of time I think a lot that interpret small gesture to disparity and took offended.But I can't help myself from that horrible feelings.And I so afraid that I will hurt other people.I cut down all my socialize,but still sometimes I will have conflict with the meal delivery or taxi driver. It seems like no one would help me,and I have to fight for myself.If I restraint my emotion,then it'll take a longer time to question myself and be frustrated.
I don't know what to do,please help me.

Hi lupeil,

I can relate with your problems, I share similar problems. I sway away from interaction/getting a job with the fear that I emotionally hurt people or myself. I have that fear because people have intentionally and unintentionally done the same to me. At this point I am paralyzed in these thoughts, I need a job but worry about my family and others, just know you are not alone. Others have the same thoughts as you, Im not sure any of the answers but your asking the right group of people.

[lupei16]

Originally Posted by winter4me

It takes time for medication to work, and it can take time to find the right medication. It sounds like you really need a therapist to talk with regularly who can help you learn ways to deal with your emotions that are so overwhelming.
It can help to exercise regularly, and to do relaxation exercises, write, draw, listen to music that soothes you...
If you can, as you feel your emotions rising, close your mouth and breathe in to the count of four and out to the count of four and try to focus only on your breathing instead of expressing anger/frustration in the moment.
Is your behavior something recent for you or has this been going on for some time? What is your age?

Thanks for your advice.I had a therapist two years ago,and i talked to him once a week for about a year.He helped me a lot,while i felt useless and he said that my exist is important.With his help I find a job,but still i lost my job because i can't deal with my boss.My authority issue is bothered me.And I cut down the relationship with my therapist because of the same reason.He use cognitive therapy and I felt judged a lot. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder,but He said it cautiousIy tha I might be BPD.

I'm 28 years old.And When I was in junior school,I started feeling that no one understand me and l don't belong to the group. I thought my family would be better If I die.I went out of high school and found a restaurant being a waitress. My family was exhausted because of my deviation.When it was six months before National College Entrance Examination,I went back to school.Finally I pass the examination and went to college.

[lupei16]

Thanks for your kindness.It means a lot to me that feels I'm not alone.When I was in the hospital ,It feels like the doctors they don't really care what you say,they just script you and sent you away.I want to communicate with other people who suffered the same pain.But there is no underline group in China.I can't even find a Internet forum.I'm so lucky to find this place.And Thanks You for your understanding and support,wish you would be better [heart]