Would you rather be seen as overly naive or overly paranoid?

If you had to pick then would you rather be seen as overly naive or overly paranoid? I know both have their cons since being too naive can allow people to walk over you while being too paranoid could have people tiptoeing around you. If you're too naive then people will think you're too oblivious to notice what's going on and people will believe they can truly walk over you without repercussions as well as calling you stupid behind your back. I've heard people say stuff like that about others who are very naive and have heard that said about me too when I used to be way more oblivious.

Being overly paranoid may prevent people from walking over you since they know you're aware of what's happening but the same time they may be more likely to shy away from you. I know they both have their cons but sometimes it's about choosing your battles and I think I would prefer people to see me as more paranoid than very naive. The problem is I wouldn't want people to see me as a loose cannon which some people who are extremely irrationally paranoid to the point where it's disruptive to their everyday lives tend to do and I've seen that happen as well. Just wondered what your thoughts are on this and I know that it can be hard to decide since both scenarios are bad.

Most people see me as too naïve, and I suppose they are right.

Yeah I've been seen as naive by others before.

I'll stick with being neither. Grew up thinking how naive my parents were & had no concept of real life. As a kid I was determined to have street smarts. Never was paranoid cause I always saw things for what they were & are in reality & acting on that knowledge made people know I knew what was going on & even people that messed with me regretted it in the end. I like it this way because I am listened to & respected. Will stick with what I am

Neither, if I can help it. Both typically have the underlying assumption of "You don't know what you're talking about." and for someone who prides themselves on being knowledgeable and perceptive to some degree, that makes me very unhappy. If I was forced to choose, probably paranoid, since there's a bit more competence assumed with that kind of person. Also, I like to travel, and pickpockets and thieves love the naive traveler.

Going outside of the hypothetical, I try to watch, listen and learn (in all things). Others can think what they want of me, but if I have a read on the room or the situation, I'm good!

Being too naive attracts too many users and abusers.On the other hand being too paranoid is the opposite end of the spectrum.It results in relational dysfunctions.There are some predators out there who will feed into a person's extreme paranoia and then take advantage of that too in some ways.So may be somewhere in between I guess. I think people are more careful with you if you come across as knowledgeable. Then the message is clear that you will not be used and manipulated.

That's good and I used to be very naive myself but I learned to be more realistic and seeing things for what they are. I like seeing things for what they are without being overly paranoid. The benefit of seeing things for what they are allows you to be more assertive and people know that they can't get away with walking over you. I agree I prefer to see things for what they are than being overly naive.

I absolutely agree and I'd prefer to be neither as well but if I had to choose then I'd choose paranoia. Being overly naive can cause people to think you're not that competent which I've seen happen many many times to me and other people. Being paranoid can have people tiptoeing around you but people know you're not stupid. I agree that being observant is a good thing especially when traveling.

Yep I agree with you and I actually didn't take the whole thing about predators taking advantage of your paranoia into account. That would be a very real issue and can lead to someone controlling you by instilling fear and anxiety. I agree being in the middle is the best solution since it sends a message that you won't be used and you're aware of social cues and what's happening. Being more cautious and closer to the paranoia side of things does make others realize you're more knowledgable and drastically reduces the chances of people calling you oblivious or too stupid to realize what's going on or take social cues and taking advantage of you.

I get very little feedback from people about my personality but if it were between naive and paranoid I would be happy with naive.

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Originally Posted by Ford Puma I get very little feedback from people about my personality but if it were between naive and paranoid I would be happy with naive.

Sadly, I saw my parents as naive growing up & even looking back now they are gone I still see that they were naive. Problem was, it sure didn't give me much to respect when I saw other adults growing up who I knew I could trust more than my parents. Only good thing was that it made me very independent & knowledgeable on my own. But it felt strange to know more than my parents even when I was young

Oh okay.

Yeah it can be tough being around others who may be so naive that they’re constantly walked over. You want to help them and protect them but they just don’t see what’s happening.

I'm a bit of both. Around my family and doctors I get nervous and I come off as naive. "Withdrawn" is what one of my medical doctors wrote in her notes. But to my mom and my therapist who I am the most open with I can often come off as very overly paranoid.

I would prefer neither. Because damaged people have used both those terms a number of times to make me feel a certain way; to put me "in my place"; to belittle and silence me. I knew it then, and I still feel the same way now.

I do think they are the less-accurate forms of better words, because they carry such negative connotations. They are often used to wound and denegrate people.

Is it someone's fault if they are naive?...or paranoid? Or somewhere in-between?

That's a tough one. I was over sheltered as child, so I was rather naive as a young adult. In this day and age, I think it's best to be BIT paranoid!

Yeah makes sense and withdrawn makes sense since I can be withdrawn too, I think I'm called both too since my coworkers may think I'm naive and stupid. I don't stand up for myself as much as I should at work even though I'm secretly very aware of what's going on and notice body language and social cues very quickly, but outside of work I'm more likely to stand up for myself so I probably come off as paranoid.

Yeah it makes sense and I don't think it's necessarily anyone's fault that someone is naive, lots of people just grow up being that way. Now it may be due to past negative behaviors that cause someone to be paranoid though, that's my experience since I grew up naive but then became more aware .

Yeah I agree, I was very naive as a child since I was over sheltered at home and at school. I was so naive that I do remember hearing people claim I came off as incredibly stupid and unaware of other people's social and body language cues, I was easily taken advantage of and people easily blamed me for things I never did. I learned a lot once I got to high school and college and that's when I noticed people talking about others who were naive and could see how easily someone who is unaware can be taken advantage of, I was called paranoid by someone in college but that person was extremely naive herself and was among those who were oblivious to social cues. I agree being a bit paranoid is probably the best in today's age without going overboard with the paranoia since I've seen what happens when someone becomes irrationally paranoid, I knew someone in college who would go off of someone who just smiled at her since she assumed anyone who just simply glanced and smiled was out to get her and that's the kind of paranoia that is extremely unhealthy.

rdgrad,how did people around you behave when they realised you were not naive anymore??I mean when you started to see things for what they really were?
In my case people turned passive aggressive towards me once I started to see the manipulations and started to erect boundaries. People didn't like that.They started to smear campaign that I changed and became a bad person,when they couldn't use or abuse me anymore.LOL.

It was very much the same for me, Mendingmysoul. I think that's because I had not one, but TWO narcissists right in my close family circle; and they were threatened when I started to get wise to their nasty head-trip games and p/a putdowns. So, what happened? They got meaner and nastier.

That's what I meant when I said, vicious people will use these words in general as putdowns and for devaluing you, because they do carry negative connotations. And they know that, full well.

Try to think of yourself in a true light---NOT the one the horrible person tries to paint you in. They almost 'got' me---I had begun to believe some of the untruths and implications of vague evil they tried to lay at my feet, especially in front of people they knew I cared about, and who's opinion mattered to me.

Anyone who truly cares about your well-being would never use such terms. It's only done by empty, fear-filled, insecure people.

Knowing who you REALLY are is the first defense against slanderous utterances and snide remarks.

I had the exact same thing happen to me, people claimed I acted crazy even though that wasn't the case. One person tried to label me with Paranoid Personality Disorder which I clearly don't have, the fact they felt the need to label me just showed how little they know about the difference between being assertive and having a genuine personality disorder. I didn't become irrationally paranoid, I didn't accuse of everyone who smiled at me of plotting something. They just didn't like the fact that I could see things for what they were, they didn't like the fact that I wouldn't let them manipulate me anymore and I'm glad you became more assertive as well and you have great strength in doing so.

I'm glad you were able to wise up, it takes great strength to stand up to those who use you. Unfortunately people who get used to using someone will get mad when they are threatened and can't manipulate you anymore, they will get meaner and sneaker in order to fulfill their desires and paint you as the bad person.

Yep rdgrad,museum ghost,they do label us with some kind of disorders.When I refused to put up with one of my aunt,she told some other relatives that I had a psychotic break down while visiting her and she took me to psych ward and took good care of me.A blatant lie.She was the one who is a psycho,so to speak.I stopped visiting her long ago.She pretended to be on death bed and called my parents and asked to see me one last time. I knew she was lying and I didn't go to see her.She enrolled my sibling and my sis told me to visit her and that she was dying. I didn't. Guess what? She is still alive after a decade.Talk about mind games and drama.Most probably she was missing her naive victim( me)

I don't know anyone who is happy when they're paranoid. Ignorance is bliss for a reason. I'd say people who are naive are happier than people who are paranoid.