Checking in: how are you?

My mood stabilizer is topamax.

I had to stop taking Ambien (sleeping aid) when my insurance company wrote me a letter telling me i was getting too OLD for it! That was almost 10 years ago! Im still not laughing! Okay, i kinda am.

Oh, dear when was that? I mean to ask how old were you? I’m going to be 65 next month. I don’t want to be getting any letter in the mail!

I think when i was 62.

I felt like i was caught in a Mad magazine article: "You know your getting old when...!"

Fortunately it was the only one i got. My poor lil ego wouldnt have stood it!

Oo you’re dating yourself referencing Mad Magazine! I loved that rag.

But nobody’s said anything to me and I’m on a high dose of ambien. I’m not ready to let go of it!! I got my doctor to wean me off about a year ago, but I just wasn’t sleeping so I went back on it, but not at the 20mg I was on previously. But at 10mg. He added gabapentin as a prn. Sleep has eluded me my whole life except when I had septicemia and when I had pneumonia. I’d be insulted if my insurance suggested I was too old to be getting a good nights sleep!

I agree that is insulting! I have read that some psychiatric medications can be more dangerous for older people. I can't remember which ones but i know I read something somewhere about certain psychiatric medications increasing the risk of Alzheimer's and some other diseases in older people. But I certainly don't remember Ambien being one of them. Perhaps it's a fall risk? That's the only thing I can think of. But, lack of sleep is surely more dangerous? I would have thought so anyway!

You know, i did have a hospital visit i think that year or 2 yrs previous because of extreme vertigo and a fall, so maybe thats why the algorithm figured me too old.

To be fair, I am ok. On and off over the last 7 months I have had some really lousy negative waves flowing over my mind. Nonetheless, overall, I do seem to be doing okay.

I did too, we're close in age.

I never heard of being "too old" for some sleep meds but like Exo says, I'd think not getting enough sleep would be even worse than the med? Then they say some meds can increase risk of dementia yet you need the med. So it's a Catch 22 or stuck between a rock and a hard place.

And yet they have also told us we're "not old enough" for the Covid vaccine during the beginning of this nightmare. Originally it was 75 and up, then they started lowering the age "requirement". Or you had to be immunocompromised.

It's copey enough. A coupla steps past middling.

I'm okay. My dad is dying in hospital, my sisters and his partner are there with him. I feel like he has already left his body but haven't heard anything official yet.

He's 89 so it's not a big shock although it's happened very quickly (I was called at 9pm yesterday, now it's 5:20pm) but we're glad he's not suffering, just slowly checking out. The worst is hearing my sisters cry on the phone!

Sorry to hear. He's been living a long life. Hope you'll be ok.

So sorry to hear spaghetti about your dad

Going well. Had a really good day in several ways which matter to me.

SpaghettiLegs that is so hard, sending gentle hugs and thoughts out to you.

My pdoc agrees with you. I asked him today about the ambien and my age. He said that sleep is very important for bipolar and that I’m not having any side effects. It’s a matter of balancing it out, each person’s an individual. Boy I lucked out with my pdoc!

That's great you have such a good pdoc and that he gave you the green light to continue taking Ambien, Nammu <3

Thinking of you and your family, SpaghettiLegs! <3

I'm having a mild reaction to the flu shot I got yesterday afternoon. Just feel a bit tired and have some swollen lymph nodes in that armpit. I'm glad I'm able to get the flu shot now though. I have really bad anxiety issues generally, and very specifically I have a ton of anxiety around health and medical things/drugs etc that can cause potentially serious side effects, even if the risk is very low.

For some reason I've always worried a lot about getting Guillain-Barre syndrome from the flu shot. I know someone who did get it from the flu shot and that has always stuck with me. For many years I did not get the flu shot for that reason. Then along came COVID and once those vaccines came out, I was of course, terrified about getting a shot. But, I was even more terrified of getting COVID. And my fear of COVID trumped my fear of the COVID vaccine. So I got vaccinated and, knock on wood, I did not get a bad reaction. I've had all my COVID boosters since then. And last year I thought, well, maybe it's time to get the flu shot too. So I got it last year for the first time in, literally, forever, and I was fine. And yesterday I got the flu shot again. Next week I'll get the COVID shot.

Even though these are very basic things to do, it's something I've had a lot of fear around for a long time so I'm glad I'm able to get it done now!

I think you are very brave for facing your fears and getting preventative shots. Exoskeleton.

Thank you so much

I’m worried decisions I’ve been making at work will come back to bite me. I’m worried about having to explain myself and not being able to.

I am just about here this morning. I wait patiently for the weekend so that I can slouch on the sofa and read a book.

I’m nervous about going into work today, and if there will be negative outcome(s) to decisions I’ve made. That, and getting ******* out by my manager. The anticipation is almost always worse than the event though…

My mom noticed a big improvement in my anxiety when we were out of the house today. I gotta remind myself I can't just go off valium cold turkey. But I haven't really needed it lately... I'd be stupid to tell my pdoc that though.

I literally just realized I forgot all my morning meds until now. Wtf.

Hope it works out okay! I worry about these kinds of things too and my anticipation is usually worse than reality too.

I feel down today. Mainly I think because the storm outside has kept us in all day but also there’s been such a lot going on with my family I’m constantly on standby for the next crisis, I think it’s wearing me down. But if the weather was okay and I’d got outside and amongst people I think today would’ve felt better.

I hope you can get out tomorrow. Are you in Storm Babet? It's raining a lot here but no flooding or code red. I've been stuck in a lot this week too, it can really impact mental health eh?