[youOme]

I was at my friends house and her father came in. He's a jerk, always has been, and always will be. But we all put up with him, after all he is the father of my friend.

Anyway, we were sitting around and somebody brought up ramps. I asked "what are ramps", I never heard of them before in the sense they were speaking. They said something about ramps stinking.

Well my friends father leans over and says "Ms. Educated, you have no concrete intelligence, everybody knows what ramps are....you should study harder in school"

As mean as it was, it was funny. I still have no idea what ramps are either.

[Perna]

They're a wild, onion-related veggie eaten mostly in the South U.S.: http://main.nc.us/yancey/Ramps/ramps_or_wild_leek.htm

I still like some of my girlfriend's parents insults, both to me and her :-)

I thought it was "Cutty Shark" instead of Cutty Sark" scotch whiskey and my girlfriend and her father never let me forget that.

My favorite though is my girlfriend who had never heard of a trousseau or hope chest until she went to a wealthy friend's house to visit. She came home and told her mother she wanted one and her mother replied, "You have about as much hope for a hope chest as you do for your own chest" (my girlfriend was delicately bosomed :-)

[Liberada]

There's even a ramp festival every year in TN http://www.cosbyrampfestival.org/

My area has a "Ham and Yam" festival ...y'all come on own! http://www.downtownsmithfield.com/events.html

[I_WMD]

Back in my younger days ,, when the Real Country Boys would put on a stew out in the woods >> Ya could follow your nose >>> till ya heard the Rebel Yell after someone took a big ol' gulp of moonshine .... But , yea , they would throw some big ol' field onions in ther'..... But when I mow my yard ,, They just stink like onion . But they are a scent of Spring .. And supposedly if ya mow the yard in a month with an " R " in it ??? They don't grow back ??

Well ,,, maybe not those ones ...

Forgot ....., The stew was raccoon and groundhog. The girls would have to be told it was store bought meat ,,, If we wanted to watch 'em eat it ..... Same with Deer. Girls?

[bebop]

I guess the funniest insult I ever got was I bought a new bra one time. it was really pretty and I was showing my stepmom and my dad was in the room. he looked at me so serious and said now honey why on earth would you buy a new bra? you would not buy shoes if you didn't have feet! lol

[bflatgary]

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight!

oh my gosh gary that reminds me of something a teacher at my school said to me and my friend last year....

"i may be fat., but thats only temperary. You guys are ugly and thats life long"

that became the bigest joke between us
we changed it to youre mom, your face, life long
like if she said thats ugly
i would be like your moms ugly
and shed say your face is ugly
and then we both say life long!
its so funny
and haha we wrote it with ketchup on a plate
her dad was like... you guys are gonna eat that ketchup right?

[bflatgary]

LOL!!!

Here is a poem that one of our Presidents wrote, insulting his own appearance.

For beauty I am not a star,
There are others more perfect by far,
But my face I don't mind it,
For I am behind it,
It is those in front that I jar. - Woodrow Wilson

[crazybones]

that whole ramp thing yeah its funny yeah sometimes even *** wholes can be funny at times my step dad biggest *** whole in the west but still can make me laugh when he wants to

[youOme]

Exactly, I laugh off all his insults...because he just sounds so stupid when he's doing it.

I know what ramps are now, that explains all the signs on the side of the road that say "ramps". In my mind I thought they were selling bike ramps.

[Bethsway]

I never heard of ramps before either...I guess we both learned something new!!!

[inkblot]

Me 3! I thought ramps were just those things to get on and off the highways.