[bearchic34]

Had to stop and see out angels on out anniversary. So very difficult! All that kept running though my brain was this is what I am going to do for the rest of my life!! Every holiday, every signigant moment in my family and I will have to go there to the cemetary so that in my heart of heartsI know that no celebration will be complete without stopping and acknowledging my baby buried there. Other than my memories her beautiful headstone is the only proof that she was here, that she deserved a life that was taken from her,,,,Damit I'm sorry, I know I am rambling. I jsut hate knowing I will be there for every birthday, holiday stuff like that for the rest of my friggin life. I mighta hit my emotional wall today.........
Sorry for the craziness of it, I jsut took my sleeping pill

[bebop]

I think that is the hardest thing to do. I am sorry you lost a child. I lost my first grand child 13 yrs ago.

[Catherine2]

((BC))

no wise words and I don't think there are words that would truly comfort you, for this I'm sorry.

In my thoughts,
Catherine

(((bearchic34)))) my prayers are with you
so sorry for your loss
I have no wise words either
just know i care
my heart is with you

[bearchic34]

~hugs~ Thanks, some days visiting the cemetary are good, some not so much. Ya know, when I was a kid the cemetary was such a spooky scary place and it was a dare to go in there, esp at night. Now i feel so comfortable there that it's kinda scary. Even the kids do. And that makes me sad to see a 14, 11 and two 4 yrs olds play and frolick in there. They aren't uncomfortable, they don't get the creepies. Is it odd that this is something that I fixate on? this is something that I can't quit thinking about. How their innocence was taken from them about death. but it's such a mixed bag of nuts, kinda like me LOL, cuz I don't want them to be scared of it but I don't like that they've been there so much that it's just like any other piece of land to them....ugh...I know I am over thinking it........

[Amazonmom]

I am so sorry. Nobody should ever have to lose a child.

[lynn P.]

Hi Bearchic,
I don't think anyone can fully understand how you feel, unless they have lost a child. It's so hard to wrap your brain around. I guess the only comfort is knowing that she's with God. I've learned through life experience, that we're all here to learn life lessons and teach others as well. Perhaps God felt her soul didnt need to learn any lessons and that her soul was pure/complete. I suspect this experience has made you a more compassionate person because I've read your numerous comforting posts to others here.
I think it's a good thing that your children are comfortable in a cemetary. I was never exposed to death until I was 24 and it was very upsetting. But death is part of life, but it's hard when it happens to young people or especially babies.
Last summer 2 days before school started, a boy in my daughters class, lost his 4 yr old brother to a drowning in their backyard pool. They had just installed the inground pool 2 days before. He and his siblings were all playing in the front yard, when he went into the backyard. Minutes later his siblings tried to find him and the older brother found him. He's the one who dove in and pulled him out. The whole school community were shocked, especially since the parents are wonderful parents and safe - but it only takes a second. It was extremely sad to see a 4 yr old lying in his coffin. The first thing we think is, WHY and unfortunately we as humans can't find a satisfying answer.
The only thing we can do is keep their memory alive and not become bitter ourselves. Since you visit her on special occasions, try not to let it make you sad. Instead look at it as you're including her in the happy occasion. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[nightbird]

Dear bearchic,

My heart goes out to you..

I am at a loss for words also.

So difficult, so sad. I'm so sorry.

PEace and Love,
Night
xoxo