[Tmac]

How long does grieving take. I lost my brother April 20th and may 2nd my brother in law to suicide. I am not able to grieve. I am not sure why part of it with my brother he was an abuser growing up. The other one this suicide is made so much hard seeing his baby. This is on top of everything else. There are days I feel like it should have been me both my brother and brother in law both have 3 kids of they're own, while I have nothing. Its a lot easier to think if it was me I wouldn't be hurting my children since I have none. These are thoughts I cant shake. My brother being abusive I feel like he does not deserve my grief. But I also know I need to grieve him to be able to move on.

[susan888]

(((Tmac)))
Grieving takes as long as it takes.....I still grieve for my father who killed himself when I was 8, I grieve for my Mom that died at Christmas coming up on 3 years ago., I grieve for my brother that died when I was 10, I grieve for my Mom's brother and sister that died not long after she did. I even grieve for the estrangement I feel from my brother after they were all gone. I think the important thing must be to let yourself feel what you need to feel and cry when you need to cry. Get it out and acknowledge the pain.....don't keep it bottled inside (even if you feel like they don't deserve your tears..you need to do that for you).

I am sending you understanding and hoping that you can feel your feelings even if you think they aren't deserved by the ones you grieve for....because they are gone and you are not and you are important.

Much love and understanding you you,

Susan

[kasva]

hi tmac .....i'm sorry for your losses. i lost my brother jan 2nd..and i feel like im only beginning to grieve. i spent alot of time emeshed in drama with my sisterinlaw. i went to a grief group and the leader talked about complicated grief..which was what my mothers death was for me...because she was an abuser. i feel for you and just want you to know...youre not alone. there is no time limit on grief and you don't have to grieve any other way than you do..theres no rules........take care....................kasva

[*freak*]

Originally Posted by susan888

Grieving takes as long as it takes.....

I think the important thing must be to let yourself feel what you need to feel and cry when you need to cry. Get it out and acknowledge the pain.....don't keep it bottled inside (even if you feel like they don't deserve your tears..you need to do that for you).

I'm very sorry for your losses. I wish you the strenght you need to allow your feelings to come to the surface and then to find a way to cope with them