[notz]

Trigger just in case/death

Just curious if there's anyone here whose child has died.

I was talking with a business acquaintance who told me she wouldn't be in tomorrow as she was taking the day off for her daughter's birthday. It's been hours since we had that conversation. I didn't think another thing about it. But a few minutes ago, I found myself thinking about my daughter's birthday (months ago) and how I don't have that anymore. I know the date is always there, but she's not.

Wow, I dissociated big time. A big slinking sideways movement with ear ringing and the feeling of chest compression. Not unlike the day we buried her. My hands tingled and the ear ringing became so intense. I watched myself at the cemetery from above.

I just stopped what I was doing. I took the time to remember. I felt so sad for me, so sad for her. I don't have any tomorrow's to take off for her birthday. I used to take time off for her death date but I stopped. That was too much, more like inflicted grief...not healthy.

I just sob for her sometimes. Anyone here know this kind of grief? Have you lost a child?

[Rhapsody]

Sadly I too know this kind of grief all to well... my daughter passed away thirteen years ago when she was ten years old and while time has healed some of the wounds there are others that time can never touch and the pain of those wounds come out from time to time... easing their way to the front of my heart needing to be felt, but once again.

I often wonder what kind of beautiful young lady she would have grown into at twenty-three years old this year. And sadly my older sister also knows this grief as her first born was killed by a drunk driver a year after my daughter passed away - these two wonderful cousins are buried next to each other... angels in heaven now.

[perpetuallysad]

(((notz))) & (((rhapsody)))

[notz]

Thank you Rhapsody. Thank you for sharing. I'm in tune with your words. I, too would love to see my dearest child all grown up now.

I'm sorry for your loss and your sister's too. I know how deep grief can run. I feel comfort knowing you are here to lean on from time to time, if I might be so presumptuous.

Warmest thoughts for all.

[tish2010]

yes I lost my son in December 09 to suicide...still really fresh and painful....
I'm so sorry for your loss...this is not a good thing to have in common but maybe we can offer each other support...

[notz]

Thank you Tish. Yes, it isn't a good thing to have in common. Support is how we make it through. I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you.

[AShadow721]

I've had three miscarriages. I know it's nothing like losing a child after they have been born and alive for so many years. But it still hurts. The last one the most because I was ready for a baby and it was my husband's. I couldn't imagine the pain you three feel.

[pegasus]

(((((( notz ))))))

[Sabrina]

Notz, how I hurt for you. I share so much about the joy of having my son and I never feel guilty for I know you enjoy sharing with me. But I do so wish that you could of had the same. I don't really know what to say. Other than that I really hurt for you. How I wish things could have been different.
My love to you always.

PS. I know that sharing a post like this is huge for you and I wanted to add that this little inner glimpse at you is welcomed, even if it hurts.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by AShadow721

I've had three miscarriages. I know it's nothing like losing a child after they have been born and alive for so many years. But it still hurts.

I have experienced this loss as well (i have two unseen babies in heaven) and I can tell you that losing a baby before it even gets here hurts deeply and makes the heart want to hide from the world.

May my three babies comfort each other in heaven.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((notz))))

I know. That is all I can bring myself to say. Sending gentle hugs. Always.

dps

[valfor]

Everybody here, my heart goes out to all of you, your children are all in my prayers god bless them.

Peace

[Rhapsody]

A Private Thought...

I was playing with my first (and only grandchild at the moment) and she was being her usual silly self at eighteen months old when she walked away from me to see her Poppy and that's when I realized her hair was the exact same color as my daughter that had passed away - I SMILED

Life lives on in others.

[valfor]

Oh Rhapsody, I heard somewhere we always get signs of our beloved ones so we never forget them and you having that moment of remembering your daughter was a sign.....I tend to believe these thing because they help me thru my loss ( I never lost a child ) but I lost my best friend. Sometimes I will be out somewhere and all of a sudden I see someone and I think that looks so much like Warren and it brings a smile to my face and I think of him and it makes me feel good to remember him.

[valfor]

Thank-you for reminding me of my friend I haven't thought of him in awhile.

((((((((Rhapsody))))))))

[i l y]

im reli sorry to everybody who has lost a child or anyone, my gorgues little girlie died a year a go in juneand when all teh people in work hu are now having babies go on and on about there babies i just wanna curl up and die