My mom (sorry it's long)

My mom passed away a little over a year ago. It's just so hard to deal with. She was really the only person I could talk to about my problems. She was a diabetis and had been for most of her life. When I was pregnant with my son she had her first stroke. And then after that she had several for the past 7 years. We lost her 4 days before Christmas of 08. On Dec 14th her blood sugar went low and my step dad gave her some orange juice to bring her out of it like he usually does and she aspirated some of it. Then it turned to pnemonia. He blamed himself for her getting sick but we all told him it wasn't his fault that those things just happen sometimes and he couldn't have known any better. On her first night at the ER her left lung colapsed so they had to put in a chest tube. So she was in ICU because she had to be on a ventilator. A few days later she had a massive heart attack and they said that everything was shutting down so it was time to make some decisions. Then she kind of started to inprove the next couple of days. And then when everyone had gone home to try to get some rest we got the call that she had passed away. She had another massive heart attack. I had her ashes but my husband talked me into sprinkling them over her mom's and dad's graves and my real dad's and my great grandmother's graves too. He figured it might help me with my panic attacks and stuff but it didn't. I am just so lost without her! Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. She was my best friend and we talked about everything. I've never been so close to someone like I was with her. I know she is happy where she is at though cause she has no more pain.

I'm so sorry for your loss love. I do understand. I have lost too. It is hard and like you I now have no-one to talk or confide in. Thank god or who-ever you want to for places like this that we can share our thoughts and feelings to someone with compassion.
Some-one who understands. My thoughts are with you. Cheers

Thank you. And yes I thank god for this place. Everyone has been so nice. And I'm opening up here more than I have with anyone. My thoguhts are with you as well. And thank you again.

I am so sorry for your loss hon. I went thru extended grief when I lost my granddaughter. I thought I would lose my mind. It was not until I accepted her death that I could begin to heal. hon there is nothing you or anyone could have done differently. It was her time. I really hope you can find some comfort. We are all here for you anytime.

Thank you. I'm starting to accept. It's just taking me a while. And yes it was her time. She had told me many times how tired her body was and she was going to have to start chemo soon because her kidneys were already shutting down and he did not want to go through that. And I have been able to find comfort through here being able to talk about it. And I appreciate ya'll so much. My thoughts are with you on your loss as well.

Angie losing your Mom is hard. I know, I'm struggling too and not dealing with it well at all. Your right though, the only thing that does help is to know she is in a better place and with her mother who she grieved for 30 years. I am reading book about near death experiences and I feel strongly that she is happier now. I'm praying for all of us grieving for our loved ones. Death is really hard to deal with.

Yes it is. I'm sorry for your loss too. Does that book help any? I just wonder to myself if the grieving ever gets better. But I know she is looking down on me and my kids and my daughter is a splitting image of her and acts like her.