[salukigirl]

I have posted several times about my grandma and her Alzheimer's and my difficulties dealing with it. Well I got a call today from my sister saying that she will probably go in the next couple days. My dad said she hasn't held down any food for about a week and hasn't eaten for about 18 hours. I guess she can't speak and my sister said that she is so emaciated you can see her bones now. Hospice is with her now which is nice because I can't up and leave because of school. So I'm just looking for some good thoughts. In the end it will be better because she won't have to suffer anymore. Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers.

[ECHOES]

Sending gentle good thoughts to you and your Grandma and your family.
You can't get there, but you're holding her close to your heart.

[lynn P.]

((Salukigirl)) - so sorry to hear the bad news. Prayers to your Grandmother, you and your family

[angie2716]

I'll be thinking of you and your grandma and praying for yall as well. I know you can't be with her but i imagine she knows you are thinking of her and love her. Hugs ( if that's ok ).

[AAAAA]

I’m glad that there is relief in sight for your grandmother, I’m truly sorry for the loss to your family.

[Sabrina]

Sending you my thoughts.

[salukigirl]

Thanks, guys. No more news as of right now. I really wish I could see her but my bf said that he saw his grandma in that situation and wishes he had a better last memory of her. My dad said the same thing. He went to see his grandma in her last moments and now he can't think or talk about her without having that image, even though it was 40 years ago, fresh in his mind. They both said, she wont know who I am, hospice is with her, it wont do anything for me to go see her except upset me and leave me with that image of her. They both said to just pray for her and think about the good times. But I feel selfish thinking that way. Is that wrong?

[lynn P.]

(((Salukigirl))) - it all depends how you feel about death. When I was 24 I saw my first dead person and it really shook me up. But as I matured and my mother became disabled from several strokes, something happened, where I was better able to handle seeing a loved one, in a debilitating state. I don't think we handle death well in N. America. I was glad I was there when my mother passed.

If you're strong enough, then do what your instincts tell you, not what others tell you. It's true she won't know if you come or not, so this won't be for her - it would be for you. If you don't think you're strong enough, then don't go - it's not selfish. I just think we need to have a better attitude towards death - it's the natural circle of life and it's okay. I don't agree that you'll always think of her, as she looked on her death bed. Personally I just need to be with my loved one during that time. Trusts your instincts and no one will judge you in what decision you make.

[ECHOES]

You do what feels right to you. For some it feels important to have a last visit, to be there with family to support one another. You have many wonderful memories of her that might very well override seeing her for a last time, if you want to go. And you can use those memories to connect with her wherever you are, to think of her during these last days of her life.