[green24]

Two months ago to this day my brother signed papers that gave my niece up for adoption to her step dad. It's a long story and I honestly cant tell you why he did it because he told us and the judge he didn't think it was in her best interest but he did it anyways. Well my t says that I am grieving over that loss. My niece was a special part of my life...she was my world. I didn't get to see her a lot because my brother was divorced but I got to see her enough to have a special bond with her. One that can't be replaced. Over this last year her mother has turned my niece against us and at this moment my niece claims that we have had nothing to do with her, her entire life which is a lie. I am angry and sad that it has come down to this. It kind of feels like she has died...I can't see her, talk with her, hold her, kiss her, but the bad part is I know exactly where she is so it's kinda like I can't close the casket. This is hard because a part of me wants to be mad at my brother but the other part is saying just support him which is what I have been doing this last two months. I can't imagine what he is going thru because I know all that I am going thru. I'm just not good at grieving and I don't really want to grieve her because then it makes it real...and I don't want this to be real. I may never again get to have a relationship with my niece and that's hard for me to understand at this point. I also blame myself for not being there more for her when I had the chance. Well there's a lot more to it but I'll be quiet for now I'm sure your tired of listening to my problems.

Sorry this is more of me just ranting and venting...I don't really get to talk this over with anyone but my t and so thanks for listening...I'm just hurting right now and don't know what to do really.

[Junerain]

Children are so precious, and the greiving may go on for some time now. I know, I too, greive the loss of children that once called me their '..mom..' my friends kids they let me take over the parenting. when i criticized them neglecting my precious kids.. I was out of there..so I know, children are so innocent, so precious, so special, so everything!! I totally understand what you are going through. It sounds like you have a supportive therapsit, no? It took me a while to find one, so you are lucky. You cannot hold her or kiss her yet you can hold and kiss the memory you have of her, don't ever let the memory die. Too bad lies were involved, lies hurt. You are great you can support your brother even though his decision hurt you. Everything about your post shows you have insight, into your feelings, into theirs. God bless you, I will be thinking of you, we all care, and let us know how you are doing.

[grace02]

It sounds like your niece is very lucky to have someone in her life like you who loves her so much. I am really sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't know how old she is, but maybe when she gets older she will contact you again and you can still have a relationship with her.

[green24]

Yes, I do have a supportive t that is helping me thru this thank goodness. Thanks for the encouragement this is one of the hardest things I've had to face in a while. My niece is 12 years old...I just pray that with age she will be able to see through her mothers tactics and will try to have contact with us again...I have to hope for that or I have nothing...although right now I feel as if I have nothing.