[grace02]

My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years suddenly decided to go back to his ex-wife with no warning. They have been divorced for 5 years but she never got over him and moved on with her life.
Anyway we had a great relationship and never fought, we always talked things out. We love each other deeply. It's a long story, I won't go into the details. The problem is I am suffering intensely. The weekends are horrible because I am usually alone now on the weekends and the two days are like torture, I have all this free time to think about how much I hurt.
I am sort of trying to keep busy but I am stuck in grief and I can barely bring myself to do anything.
I am seeing a counslor now and I am going to church to try to help myself heal. It has been about a month since we split. We still talk and we vowed never to give up our friendship. Of course I am angry and I feel betrayed. He feels terrible that he hurt me.
I just need help dealing with this awful grief and depression. I feel like I am losing my mind. All weekend I have basically sat in my bedroom and it feels like a prison cell. I know I need to get out and do things, but I feel paralyzed by the grief and shock over him doing this.
I have called a couple of friends to try to talk about it and they are sympathetic but they are caught up in their own lives. So I sit here feeling like I am going crazy. I can barely eat or sleep.
At least sleep is an escape but I have trouble sleeping.
Sometimes I feel panicky and I just pray someone will call me so I can talk....I hate to burden my friends and family over and over with this stuff so I try not to call them too much. I feel so needy and vulnerable right now. I am actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow just so I can have something else to focus on.
If you are reading this, please pray for me...that is what I need most right now. I already know I need counseling and support and that I need to get out and interact with the world. I will in time but I am not ready yet.

Welcome grace02,

You have found a great place. You will find support hear and a kind ear.

Have a look around, do some reading and you will feel at home here in no time. Glad you found us.

Hang in,

Petunia

(((((grace02)))))

You have my prayers, as you requested, and 'Pet' right between us has said it all!
You feel betrayed, and it sounds like you have reason to feel that way. It has had to have been a real emotional shock to have the boyfriend do that to you. Good luck with you counsler in getting the help you need!
Talon

[seeker1950]

Hi, dear Grace02,
Many of us can empathize with what you are going thru here. We are here to help each other and I encourage you to keep reading and posting your thoughts and feelings.
You are in the stages of grief right now, and it is a long hard road, but there IS light at the end of the tunnel, dear girl.
I have received much helpful advice and caring interactions from the members of here and it has helped me heal in ways I could not have done myself.
Loving thoughts,
Seeker