[new widow]

I lost my husband on 4/27/12. It's hard enough trying to manage without him here, but now there's all the legal paperwork, and all the other stuff popping up that I need to take care of. His car is having problems and now mine needs to be inspected. Not big things, but things he always took care of. He wanted to take car of me and did a good job, but now I feel like I can't do anything without him. I have to figure out how to work the lawn mower and I have to change the filter for the air conditioner. Seems like there's always something new coming up. Sometimes it just feels like too much to handle.

[missbelle]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Have you a church, friends, support group that can help you get through all the "stuff?" I know just changing the filter can be overwhelming after a loss. You have to realize that you have been through a terrible thing and it will take a while for you to get your bearings. A loss of a spouse is a big deal and everything will seem like getting over a mountain. This will ease up and you will even start being very proud of yourself for accomplishing so many things. Your husband will be very proud as well as he realizes he left a very competent woman who can handle most anything thrown at her....give yourself some time and ask for help now to handle that stuff!!

Thinking of you

[Leed]

Oh gosh I know what you mean. There were SO many things that my husband took care of, and then all of a sudden he wasn't here anymore.

I had to learn to do all sorts of things, like repairs around the house, to legal paperwork, to changing the furnace filter, to car stuff, you name it. I too was totally overwhelmed, and a lot of things seemed to come down on me all at once -- just like what is happening to you now. But you will get thru it. Just don't try to do it all at once. Most of it doesn't have to be done immediately. Take your time -- and if something has a deadline, ask for an extension if you need one.

You are still grieving too, so be kind to yourself. If you need help, ask friend and/or family to help you. It's hard to think clearly when you're still grieving -- at least it was for me. No way could I get thru the legal stuff and make sense of it. Get someone to help.

God bless dearheart and know you're in my prayers. Hugs, Lee

[new widow]

Thanks Lee. I got out this morning and got the car inspected so at least that's one thing done. I actually tried to cut the grass but I just could not get the lawn mower started. Guess I'll have to call someone to help with that. Logically I know I can do things, I took care of myself alone before I got married and I guess I can do it again, but it was so nice to have someone to share things with and who just loved me and wanted to take care of me. It's hard to be alone now.

[Leed]

Yes, it IS hard to be alone now. There have been times that I've gotten angry with Dave for dying! Can you imagine that? Of course then i feel guilty for being angry. LOL

I miss Dave and I doing things together too -- we used to go fishing together all the time. He LOVED to fish and he taught me how - I'd never gone fishing until I met him. We'd just bought a new boat right before he got sick -- but I had to sell it cause it was too big for me to handle alone, so i haven't been fishing since he died. I miss it - but I don't think I'd enjoy it now without him.

Even tho I MISS Dave terribly -- I don't mind being alone. Given the choice, I'd want him here with me of course!!! But I've grown used to being alone now and I really don't mind. It must be the Irish in me.

I hope things begin to even out for you relatively soon. I know things are still very unsettled for you, and you're still grieving. But know that you can talk to me anytime you wish. I'll be here. Feel free to private message anytime too. Seems you're going thru just what I did. Make sure you get plenty of rest because you're going to need it. God bless. Hugs, Lee