[helloitsme]

<font color="red"> </font> Tomorrow is my oldest son's birthday. It's been 2 years now he's been gone. It is so difficult to comprehend life without him. He was just 22, tomorrow is his 25th birthday .
I don't know if my other two sons and I will make it, we are all suffering from such depression, anxiety and all the indecision and motivational issues that come with it. I believe that had a lot to do with my son's suicide, but it's too late for us to help him, and now how do we help ourselves? How do I help the other two when I can't even get me together? There is so much quilt on my part, I think I passed this depression gene to them. I so fear that I will not be able to pull it together to help them and they will be lost too (in one way or another).
Dear God, hold him close, please let him know how much he is loved, comfort him and let him know he is home.

[BetseyK]

hello...

I am coming up om my oldest daughter's 18th birthday. She died a year and a half ago. The way I got through the first one without her was thinking about what that day meant to me. It was the day I became a mom. I wouldn't trade that for the world. So it's still a celebration.

I miss her terribly, and as you our family ( my husband other daughter and I) have lost so much life enthusiasm. It is a struggle to get out of bed every day. It is so easy for people to say, " Well, you made it through the first year. Things should be better now." How do you explain to them that in many ways it's harder.

Just keep going, one step at a time. I am right there with you. And find a way to celebrate the fact that this is the day you became a mom!

Betsey

[sujunew]

this makes me so sad. I lost my son 4 years ago this year, and altho it does get easier (well, i haven't really totally accepted it or dealt with it yet... that's still to come) I have found that spending a little alone time for just my thoughts helps. I cannot help but be reminded of his birthday every year- it is the day after mine- and ppl all too often make reference to that in cards that they send to me. It would be nice if they could make reference to it separately, as it would be 'his' day... All the best and I hope you can get thru this ok.

[(JD)]

for each of you! Such loss can be tremendously difficult to work through, and be able to continue with your own lives. Please seek grief counseling. It's normal to grieve, but you need help to continue, as well as to help your other children to create their own lives.

No one causes another to take their own life, imo. We are each responsible for that decision, within ourselves. Now it is your responsibility to choose life. Please take care.

[bebop]

I totally agree with Sky. Every parent that has lost a child or grandchild needs to get therapy in some way...there is a group called compassionate friends that deal with that issue. I lost a granddaughter 10 yrs ago. please seek that help

[praxis]

I am so sorry you are in such pain. I agree, you do need therapy. My daughter died 21 years ago last month, and I didn't seek therapy until about 3 years ago. This Friday will be her 22nd birthday. Just 2 weeks ago I was working on guilt and other feelings about her death, and I know I will this week too. Of course we will be here for you whenever you need us, but we can't help you in the same way a professional can. It doesn't have to hurt this much.