wish i knew my mum

strange but i been thinking about her a lot lately i dont remember much but sometimes i think if she lived a bit longer maybe life would of been so diferant for me , youngest of three children i was about 3yrs old when my mum lost the fight for her life and funny thing i dont know what she looked like really , ithere was only one picture in our home as we grew up but that had gone missing by the time i was 11, then i have seen photos of my mum and dads wedding but they also went missing , my dad lost his fight for life 19 yrs ago and my oldest brother 12yrs ago , my dad has sisters left but they have family of there own and the one auntie i feel close to remined me that nearly removing myself from my childrens lifes would be just like how i felt , but my mum died from something she couldnt control,

I know how you feel. It gets really lonely when family seems to disappear before us. I used to have a large and loving family. Now all I have left is my drug addicted mother...who is partially dead, and my very ill sister. Everyone else has either passed away, or just gone on with their lives without us. I hate it mainly because I feel my children should have the family experience. But then again I just realized their father and I will just have to be enough, and be extra loving and fun so they don't feel left out.

There are family members I've also never met, or don't remember meeting. Sadly I have no recollection of what they look like either. I think loneliness has a lot of responsibility with why we try to remember important people from our pasts. Life gets lonely, and lonely gets you thinking.

I'm sorry you feel kind of low about this. Do you remember what your mama looks like at all....in your memory?

<font color="#880000"> </font> I understand where you are coming from. I lost my mother and my father's parents in a car wreck when I was five. As far as I am concerned, I basically lost my father at the same time; since he was never the same after that and became an alcoholic and then died 19 years later. Luckily, I do have quite a few pictures of my mother, but very few memories. However, the few memories I do have I cheerish always. My life is a mess now; and like you, I feel it would have been different had I had more time with my mother. She was a wonderful person, and everyone loved her so. I know she definitely would made my life a whole lot different and hopefully I could have been more like her. But thank goodness, I had my grandparents (her parents), which unfortunately are gone now. All I know is that I cheerish what very precious little time I had with her and try to grasp what little bit I can from that.

Hey I just read your post and I am crying and just reading it. I am so sorry about you not knowing your mum. It sounds like she was a real specail person. Its hard for me to post something becuase I was hurt badly by mine. It must be really hard no knowing your mother. SOmeone who is supposed to be a nurturing part of your life.
Sorry you are having such a hard time with this. If it helps you to keep talking please do so, I am here for you. And i send you great big hugs at this time, and hope your feel a bit better soon. Bearhugs.

((((((((((( Katheryn )))))))))))

I agree that it is sometimes hard without a mother... I lost mine too at a young age. I am glad you have some memories of her. But sometimes they can just increase the yearning for her and sense of loss