Delayed Reactions

I seem to have a three year emotional cycle. 2006 my grandfather, who I was extremely close to, passed away. I did not mourn. I had many nightmares of him coming to punish me for it. Three years down the line I just collapsed in a blubbering heap and for months I mourned for him. I have a shrine to him now, and I fast on his birthday and death day to remember him. At that time, I was extremely emotionally unstable so I can understand my mind blocking it until it was ready to cope.
Three years ago a friend of mine was killed in an accident. At one stage we were extremely close, but life happened and we drifted apart. Whenever we ran into each other it was as if we had never been apart. But we never kept properly in contact. About a month ago I had a dream and he was the main focus of it. I woke up crying and couldn't stop. Throughout the day I will remember him many times and cry. I feel terrible. I feel angry about him dying. I feel guilty for not reacting when it happened. I feel guilty for not going to his funeral. I am sad and crying most of the time now and it makes no sense. I know this is kinda creepy, but I can remember his smell, his laugh, his mannerisms, the way he spoke. I am battling to get through it. Mostly because I can't make amends to the dead. And I can't really discuss it with anyone because they will think I am completely off my rocker. It is affecting my everyday life.
How do I process this? How do I get through this when I can't tell him anything?

It is a hard thing when our loved ones die. You are finally grieving, which is a good thing for you. It is normal & painful & hard, but necessary.
Have you considered writing out your feelings, a note, a letter, a card? Closure is hard won sometimes, but you will have it if you work at it.
Have you thought about doing something in his/their honor? Donating to a worthy cause or volunteering your time as a gift and memorial to them?
There are 7 stages of grief; look up the writing of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. It may help you through this difficult time.
I wish you only the very best as you work through your sadness.

When people we love die, we are going to act in a variety of ways. And sometimes our minds tell us that one way is good, and another way is bad. Unless you're hurting yourself or others, non of it is bad.

Delayed reactions with death are completely normal. Since you were close to your grandfather, you were probably in a state of shock for a very long time. When my grandfather died in 2004, I shut down completely, and I don't even remember 2004 at all. It was after that year that I started working through my own grief.

My brother died almost a year ago (august 11th) and it destroyed me. It is still destroying me. "You cannot make amends to the dead", no, you can't, but you also can't focus on what you CAN'T do. Because then you end up like me, stuck on a loop that you can't seem to break. It's normal to be angry, resentful, upset. A lot of people do not go to funerals, and it's okay if you didn't go. Maybe having your own memorial day for him will help you? I know having days like that for my brother make grieving an easier process.

I wish you well and send you all of my regards.

Thanks for the advice.
I'm sorry for your loss, Teen Idle. I hope the battle gets better.
I hope I don't get trapped in the loop. I will hold a memorial day for him. I am sure it will help.
Thanks NWgirl2013, I will look up her writings.