[sabby]

In November, I lost my dear 93yr old auntie. For 25 years, my auntie was my surrogate mother after my mom (her sister) passed in 1981. I don't know why, but for some reason, I've not been able to grieve over her death. I don't know if it's because I had prepared myself so well for that day, or if I'm ignoring it and just trying to keep up with my busy schedule.

It kind of bothers me that I haven't really cried, or felt sufficiently sad for loosing her. I loved her dearly. She was an exceptional woman.

I understand that grief is completely individual to us all. We all have our own ways of getting through those times, but to basically not feel anything at all, one way or another is what kind of scares me.

Has anyone else gone through this before? If so, did you end up grieving months or even years down the road? I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and/or experiences.

Thanks a bunch!

Hugssssssss
Jean

[bebop]

I went thru that a little last year. I had had so many deaths back to back I went numb I guess. you said you are staying busy so maybe that is helping to deal with it in a different way. maybe too the fact that she was in her 90's and you realize she had had a very long life and it was simply her time to go. I did eventually cry some and I still miss my MIL terribly and even cry a little bit. it bothers me too but I am ok with it now. hope this helps

[sabby]

Thanks Bebop! I'm sorry for your losses. I think you are on to something....the fact that I've been so busy must truly be the reason I haven't yet grieved as I normally do. Considering we went right into the holidays, and then there were some medical concerns with my youngest daughter that we are still dealing with, and a major surgery for a dear friend...going through the whole thing with her and being with her as much as possible. Not to mention the fact I work 2 jobs....yeah....I guess I am too busy to grieve...LOL.

I did do a lot of soul searching for a few months before auntie died. I saw her decline, and worked through a lot of things before hand. I did my best to care for her, and I have no regrets about my relationship with my aunt. I tried to make our time together count for something. So I guess I prepared quite well for when her time came.

Thanks so much for sharing Bebop...I truly appreciate it!

Hugsssssssssssss
Jean

[bebop]

not a problem hon. I lost a granddaughter 10 yrs ago...wow just saying that seems so long ago but yet just like it was yesterday. on her birthday and anniversary of her death my daughter use to take off work. it was eating her alive. I finally told her the best thing for her to do was work on those days to keep her mind occupied. I can't tell you how much it has helped her keeping busy. I think that is so important. I know we have to have time to grieve but I don't think we should wallow in it either. our loved ones would not want that for us. I am glad you got to spend alot of time with your aunt. that means alot to her and to you!

[Boopers]

Hi Jean,

Yes, grieving is a very individual thing. It may be ten years down the road before it hits you or it could hit you tonight.

Just watching something as simple as a movie can trigger your emotions and go right to your dear Aunt.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that we can help in someway, even if it's just listening to your day.

Wishing you all the best.
Hugs,
Linda

[bebop]

I completely agree with boopers. the least little thing will do that at times.

[Zen888]

I am still grieving the loss of my mom who passed away 8 years ago. It feels at times as though she died just yesterday or was alive a couple weeks ago......and that this is all just a terrible joke or nightmare. She was my world.....my rock......my nuturer.... . I feel lost without her......my heart feels "half full" like a glass of water.

[sabby]

Hi Linda!

Thanks so much for your thoughts and ideas. You are totally right about something triggering me in the future....I can see that happening for sure.

Take good care!
Hugsssssss
Jean

[sabby]

{{{Bebop}}} I"m so sorry for the loss of your granddaughter. I'm glad you were able to talk your daughter into working on that anniversary and keeping busy. I have this weird thing that happens on the anniversary of my mom's death...about a week before that date I remember the date and think of her more than usual. But it seems when the day gets here, I totally forget what day it is and just do my thing...it's not until I'm in bed at night or the very next morning when I think of the anniversary. The mind is a strange and wonderful thing in how it protects you at times.....

Hugssssssss
Jean

[sabby]

Oh {{{{{Pilatus}}}}....I know exactly how you feel....my mom has been gone for 25 years and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her.

It doesn't at all feel like it's been 25 years since mom died. I look back and think it was just yesterday that we were joking and baking and just enjoying each other's company.

Your mom is still with you Pilatus....there will always be that connection, that's why it seems like only yesterday that she was there with you. Even now, she is with you in your heart and your mind and your soul.....she is never far away hon. Reach out to her and feel her love.....talk to her....she will respond. I wish you peace.

Hugssssssss
Jean