[faded]

This past March 5th marked 2 years since my fathers death. His passing was particularly traumatizing to me as I was the one to find his body and had to break the news to my mother and sister. With that in mind, I saw my counsellor at my college and she was (quite visibly) angry with me for being depressed. When I told her that I believed the reason was because I was grieving my dad's death for the time being she said to me, "That's not a reason for being depressed. You can't let it define you."

I was quite hurt by that comment as I have never properly grieved the loss of my dad and she was being quite harsh with me during the whole meeting. I was mostly upset by this because it's never defined me - if anything it's always been a surpressed memory and the fact that it was coming up at all was surprising and disturbing for me.

Since this incident I have worked things out with this counsellor, however, I am still hurt by this comment. Am I overreacting? Am I letting it define me by acknowledging it at the anniversary? If I can't talk to my counsellor about it, who can I talk about it with?

Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated....

[Fuzzybear]

Wow - I think the comment was extremely rude and lacking in empathy and professionalism. I personally would fire this counsellor!!! I'm sorry this happened to you. There are some good counsellors out there (so I'm told)

[sabby]

I would say this councelor gets an "F" in compassion and communication....geeesh. It makes me wonder if this individual has had their own issues with greiving and depression.

(((((faded))))) I'm so sorry about your dad's passing and what you had to go through. Grieving is such an individual thing. Our minds handle it in many different ways. Some folks grieve right away for a short period of time, others for longer periods. Some folks don't grieve until years later.

I don't believe you are overreacting at all. At some point you need to deal with the issue and then you can put it into perspective and go on with your life. I hope that your feeling better soon. Take good care of yourself!

Hugsssssss
J

[littlemissjess]

That was so rude! My grandmother died last night and we were extremely close [but she had alzheimer's so that wasn't a big help either,] but my other grandmother died 3 years ago and i still think about and I cry somethimes. No, you are not over-reacting you're doing nothing wrong either. You should try finding a better cousellor and try to report that one. Ew that was a rude comment, I'd be upset with it too.

that remark was unethical. period. i'm sorry that you were subjected to that. and i'm sorry about the loss of your dad and your grief is not defining you as a person. it's giving you some freedom and relief........love, pat

[Robyn222]

That counselor was not simply wrong once but throughout the entire session! Clearly she had something SHE needed to work out. I am so sorry that happened to you. No counselor should EVER be that blind. I question her innate fitness to be a counselor.

[SeptemberMorn]

Sounds like your conselor was having a bad day, but that's no excuse for being so rude and uncaring with you.

When my mom passed away was when my anxiety and depression took hold of me. I've got that under control but the days before and after Aug. 3 are still very rough for me... and it's been 22 yrs.

I don't feel that you are allowing the trauma of finding your dad define who you are, but for your own good, you need to deal with it.

{{{{Faded}}}} hugs if okay