[katrineme7]

[If nobody has responded to you by now, I would go elsewhere and there are wonderful people and all out there but I cannot tell you for you. But here? No, but that does not mean psychcentral at whole not just here.

[bebop]

hi kat..I am sorry you didn't get a response quickly. this thread here is basically a welcome to the forum. to post about your grief you can make a new thread on the main grief forum. welcome to pc!

[flyingfree]

Originally Posted by marianela

hi, i lost my mother to cancer in 2005, and the hurt and sadness has gotten a little bit better, what really angers me is that i just found out that my fathers been seeing a woman for more than two and a half years ago, and he's hiding it from everyone in my family, he says i shouldnt but in and to leave him alone, but he told me not to tell anyone. so i don't know what i should do. it wasnt even a year since she passed away when he started seeing this other woman.i dont understand how he could do that so soon.

hi there my name is tasha i am 40 yrs and my husband has incurable cancer we were given 6 nmonths to 12 months to live in a weird kind of way i feelk for you maybe you feel your father is cheating on the memory of your mother. what i mean is when my hubby goes what do i do... i still have a lot of life left but i feel guilty that i am offending his family witch is his family then there out two children 10 and 6 .... my thoughts are with you and whatever you decide will be right for YOU

[different]

Originally Posted by mamaof667

I don't believe in the five stages of grief, I feel angry, I want my son back and yes I am depressed or is it just a normal reaction to losing my precious boy. I am sad, I have nothing to live for, my husband and I just survive each day, there is nothing like losing a child, even if he was 27, we have lost our future and reason to live.

I lost my 26-year-old son 8 years ago. Everyday I still think of him. It is extremely hard to lose a child, no matter what age. Twenty-seven is very young. I recently went to a family wedding. In honor of family members who had passed, their names were mentioned before the ceremony. I thought mentioning the names was an extremely thoughtful gesture, but at the same time, it took the focus away from the happiness I was feeling for my nephew and his bride. My eyes swelled up with tears. I began to think that this could be my son's wedding day, but I will never see that happen. I had to stop myself from the thoughts, because I really did want to share in the celebration of my nephew's wedding. Now, if this was three years ago, I probably would have had to leave. You are angry, and you have a right to be, your child is gone. All the hopes and dreams you had for your son are gone. The pain lessens over time (acceptance), but it never goes away. Others may feel differently, but I miss him every day. My only problem is that it took me this long to get where I am at today.

[different]

Originally Posted by katrineme7

I surely felt as unwelcome as anyone else would also feel in my position. Don't worry though. maybe I interrupted, or maybe I interfered, I am not always perfectly understanding of how these forums work.

But more than anything, I really don't need you people anyway; I just wanted to share but help? No, I do not need help, for sure, from you.

Everything i could say in praise of my relationships and family and friends and helpers and medical staff, etc, would sound too exaggerated and too good, so I won't rub it in. Kat, and best to you

Dear Kat, I wish I had seen your post earlier. I am new to this site. It is terrible that you have cancer, and not much time to live. It is hard to imagine what it would feel like to be in your position. I will be checking in to see if you have written again. I think you can use all the support you can get. It must be aweful in those times when you are by yourself. I am here if you need someone to listen to you.

[i l y]

to everyone who has lost someone i send you massive hugs it hurts like hell to lose someone i lost my baby girlie and i want her back so bad i need her back i cant live here on this world without her its her 2nd birthday tomorrow and its all my fault she died

[daydreamer76]

It hurts so much to lose someone you love. I know. You all know. My heart goes out to all of you.

I lost my husband when in '02 to diabetes. I lost my best friend in '07 to a drug overdose and in '09 I lost the love of my life to a suicide. I want the hurt to go away. I want to feel less pain.

[sofine4952]

Hi Everyone: I am now 2 yrs. and 5 mos into my grief. My husband , 45 yrs old committed suicide and it has been so hard to just get through the day. We were married 25 yrs. and I am so lonely without him. Everyone says it will get better, but I don't think so. I am on anti-depressants and go to therapy, but I just can't get how someone can do this. I go over it again and again. I think about it every day. To make matters worse, my in-laws that I have known for 30 yrs. blame me for his death. They even blame our daughter(16 yrs) old too and send her nasty cards and leave messages on her cell phone. I can't even leave something nice at the cemetary as they either take it or break it. This is just driving me nuts..
Thanks for listeneing,
Michele

[sadtoaster_of_glass]

I know how it feels...The last time I cried hard at a funeral over someone I love was when I was eleven and my grandmother died due to cancer....
Just recently my fiance's best friend died..Accidental of course, but still just as painful..I'd known him since I was in kindergarten. He meant so much to soooooo many people. I just couldn't take seeing everyone, including his girl friend of two years, crying and sobing. My friend kept crying and saying that it wasn't fair....and it's just not fair! He was only 19 and too young to die...

[haier]

i lost my brother to suicide. i'm also sad. feels good to not feel so lonely.

[Joy1010]

Originally Posted by Susan Renee

My Mother passed away May 22, and, its been so hard dealing with the loss of my mom she's not only mom but my best friend. Ilove her so much and miss her deeply, I know shes with god but I still grieve her, Is that wrong ? my mom had died from cancer,and I still wish she was here,although she was in severe pain, and I feel I,m being selfish for wanting her back. Its very hard going thru this.could someone give me advice on how to get thru the loss of a parent. Thank You!

Hi Susan, I lost my mom 5 years ago. She was also my best friend and it broke my heart to lose her. She also died from cancer. I know she was suffering in the end and I told her it 'was ok to go'... but after she died I broke down horribly because 'it wasn't ok '... I didn't want to lose her and I still miss her terribly. It's not selfsh to want to keep them with us, it's human. There is no easy strategy or formula to 'get through this'. It helps if you are still able to talk about her to friends and family. I would look at photos and cards - and yes sometimes cry but it feels good to release the tears and emotion. Sometmes I would 'talk to her', kind of like praying I guess, but my words would be said to her.. still do this when I need her.. the sharp pain has dwindled thankfully, but I will never stop missing her. As time passes, you learn how to live without her, but you will never forget, never stop missing , and never stop loving. It's important to remember your loved one died, but you didn't... and they would want you to be happy. If you are REALLY depressed, there was something I tried when my daughter passed away. I would 'make myself' think of happy thoughts at least a couple times a day. "IE. what a beautiful day" or " think of how lucky I was in other ways - think of something I should be thankful for". I would still allow myself to grieve and cry and feel sad/depressed, but not 24/7... and as the days went by, I would make myself think positive thoughts more often... and then one day... a happy thought came to me all on it's own!! Sounds kind of like playing games with your own mind to teach you how to be happy again, but I figure desperate times call for desperate measures The pain of loss will eventually subside but if it doesn't I would recommend seeing a grief counsellor, someone who can help you get through it. I wish you all the best !

[MissTee11]

I lost my Mother March 18, 2010, I still find myself constantly wishing she was still here to talk to and to give me advice about life. I am 42 years old. Is it normal for a person as old as i am to grieve after some time has passed. All I do is cry and think about her, and her birthday is in 4 days.

[nali]

I lost my dad 5 months ago. He was suffering from depression. My relationship with him over the past 3 years has been horrible. I became angry at him because he was so negative.. If we talked we would argue.. There is so much I regret and will never forgive myself for.. It wasn't ment to end like this. He was ment to get better.. I have so much guilt it makes me feel so sick. I try to remember my farther who was so kind and loving before the depression but I can't see past my guilt..
I miss him so much, would do anything to hug him and tell him im sorry to hear him say it's ok

[Jamielow]

I lost my mum last year the 9th of jan I miss her so much it hurts I stopped taken my meds and went into deep depression July 2010 I left my wife and four children wish I hadn't she sent divorce papers today saying I have a mental health problem bpd which I have my youngest daughter has downs syndrome I thought she was ment to save me every time I think of suicide which Is every minute she saves me I want my mum and family back I'm a good man tears rolling down my cheek what happened feel like no one cares haveing to battle this on my own so hard

[pcviet]

I was very sad that many do not know how for all sad

[fancyfilly]

Don't know how to handle the fact the my daughter is dying. She is a cancer patient whose medical issues started almost 24 years ago... She is paralyzed from her waist down. She's been in the hospital for 3 months and don't know when she'll be getting out. Last week, we found out that there is a 25% increase in one of her tumors since last August. She can't start chemotherapy again until incisions on her back heal - which has been an issue since last August. She doesn't have a pain-free day EVER. I feel like I know the grim reaper intimately. I literally hate the general population because it seems everyone has some sort of excuse for any and every wrong doing that effects them either directly or indirectly. The only thing my daughter ever did was work, pay taxes, take care of her world and her animals, and help other people. Now - she will be leaving...

I can't stop thinking about my ex-friend. I don't want to see a doctor, and my mom thinks I'm making up storyies about my mild depression and PTSD. She can't understand it because about 95% plus of the emotions are thoughts, not crying. I can't take pills by mouth, only patch. I don't know if my doctor would be much help.

[lubica77]

Originally Posted by lostmysoulmate

it has been a year this past june i lost my husband to cancer he was my best friend an i just feel lost without him i just feel like im going on like a robot thats been programed to do the daily things going on.
22 years of bliss an now nothing yes i have my memories but thats not hugging me loving me or comforting me im just sad all the time.

missing my soulmate

I just lost my husban 3 months ago and I can't think, I have incontrollable depression, I cry and ask god what am I suppose to do just waiting for an answer or maybe if I die soon I won't have to live in this world that to me is going on as normal while I am still stuck its like a living hell.

[Shadow13]

My 70-yr old, 33-yr-recovered mom died suddenly in 2004 after a few yrs reconciliation.
My 27-yr old son was killed in an accident in 2007.
My husband of 35 yrs passed in 2010 after a 7 yr illness.
I am blessed with 4 living children and 6 grandchildren.
I am immersed in these blessings, tho I also have missing parts that cannot be filled.

[Cherokee3801]

About a week after taking my youngest off to college, I have just learned that my father has a very serious and aggressive cancer. I have been a single parent for 14 years. I live 5 hours away from my family. I am grieving while trying to adjust to the empty nest, and now am facing the reality that I may soon have to say goodbye to my precious father. I know that I have to find a way to keep going and functioning, but I just want to lay down and sleep. I am so overwhelmed with loss and the fear of loss. It just feels like too much at one time. I don't know how to cope with all I am feeling right now.

[artlovr]

I lost my precious wife last month and I still am wandering around life in a fog. She had a severe stroke four years ago, tied to her cirrhosis of the liver (alcohol). I had taken care of her 24 hours a day from that time. I know that I am new to the grief process and look forward to the day when I can finally admit that has gone to be with angels. We had nine wonderful years together and we were truly one, together.

I'm gad there is a forum for this grief.

[Insignificant other]

I lost my daughter in 1995 to a single car accident. I know that's long ago but still I grieve for her .. she was just 28 years old and we had been at odds with each other when she died .. I cant get past it. My pdoc says I've gotten used to feeling this way and he is probably right but I want to move on and feel stuck.

[Jesuslovesme]

Wow, don't know where to begin... In 1969 my sister and I lost our mom at a very young age. At that time, everyone had respect and trusted everyone. There was nothing to be afraid of until my mom was killed by a friend of hers. I can't tell you that our life's hasn't been the same. She didn't die of natural causes so it blew the whole town upside down and ruin three of my families apart. My sister been married for along time but she takes pills and drinks, she can't cry so I make that part up for the both of us. I can't until this day can not get over this. Believe me I want to, my mom, aunt, uncles and my son, all lost. I had more than my share. My best friend which was a cat died last year, the day after Christmas. I took it very hard. I don't know what to do anymore. My husband says that's life, his mom died too but hit's not the same he doesn't know what it's like seeing your mom lying down

[martharom724]

"The Grief Recovery Handbook" is really very informative and helpful for moving beyond death divorce, and other losses.

Thanks @John For sharing with us.

[rumishams]

i have dealt with three suicides so far in my life and a friend's boyfriend just took his life recently too.

it is one of the hardest things to deal with. it has been the hardest in my life. as a person with a diagnosis, my feelings around it are more confusing and deeper than an average person's would be, i think.

not sure, but the guilt has been almost ever-present for years now.

thank you for this post, i will check out the link.