[fancyfilly]

Don't know how to handle the fact the my daughter is dying. She is a cancer patient whose medical issues started almost 24 years ago... She is paralyzed from her waist down. She's been in the hospital for 3 months and don't know when she'll be getting out. Last week, we found out that there is a 25% increase in one of her tumors since last August. She can't start chemotherapy again until incisions on her back heal - which has been an issue since last August. She doesn't have a pain-free day EVER. I feel like I know the grim reaper intimately. I literally hate the general population because it seems everyone has some sort of excuse for any and every wrong doing that effects them either directly or indirectly. The only thing my daughter ever did was work, pay taxes, take care of her world and her animals, and help other people. Now - she will be leaving...

I can't stop thinking about my ex-friend. I don't want to see a doctor, and my mom thinks I'm making up storyies about my mild depression and PTSD. She can't understand it because about 95% plus of the emotions are thoughts, not crying. I can't take pills by mouth, only patch. I don't know if my doctor would be much help.

[lubica77]

Originally Posted by lostmysoulmate

it has been a year this past june i lost my husband to cancer he was my best friend an i just feel lost without him i just feel like im going on like a robot thats been programed to do the daily things going on.
22 years of bliss an now nothing yes i have my memories but thats not hugging me loving me or comforting me im just sad all the time.

missing my soulmate

I just lost my husban 3 months ago and I can't think, I have incontrollable depression, I cry and ask god what am I suppose to do just waiting for an answer or maybe if I die soon I won't have to live in this world that to me is going on as normal while I am still stuck its like a living hell.

[Shadow13]

My 70-yr old, 33-yr-recovered mom died suddenly in 2004 after a few yrs reconciliation.
My 27-yr old son was killed in an accident in 2007.
My husband of 35 yrs passed in 2010 after a 7 yr illness.
I am blessed with 4 living children and 6 grandchildren.
I am immersed in these blessings, tho I also have missing parts that cannot be filled.

[Cherokee3801]

About a week after taking my youngest off to college, I have just learned that my father has a very serious and aggressive cancer. I have been a single parent for 14 years. I live 5 hours away from my family. I am grieving while trying to adjust to the empty nest, and now am facing the reality that I may soon have to say goodbye to my precious father. I know that I have to find a way to keep going and functioning, but I just want to lay down and sleep. I am so overwhelmed with loss and the fear of loss. It just feels like too much at one time. I don't know how to cope with all I am feeling right now.

[artlovr]

I lost my precious wife last month and I still am wandering around life in a fog. She had a severe stroke four years ago, tied to her cirrhosis of the liver (alcohol). I had taken care of her 24 hours a day from that time. I know that I am new to the grief process and look forward to the day when I can finally admit that has gone to be with angels. We had nine wonderful years together and we were truly one, together.

I'm gad there is a forum for this grief.

[Insignificant other]

I lost my daughter in 1995 to a single car accident. I know that's long ago but still I grieve for her .. she was just 28 years old and we had been at odds with each other when she died .. I cant get past it. My pdoc says I've gotten used to feeling this way and he is probably right but I want to move on and feel stuck.

[Jesuslovesme]

Wow, don't know where to begin... In 1969 my sister and I lost our mom at a very young age. At that time, everyone had respect and trusted everyone. There was nothing to be afraid of until my mom was killed by a friend of hers. I can't tell you that our life's hasn't been the same. She didn't die of natural causes so it blew the whole town upside down and ruin three of my families apart. My sister been married for along time but she takes pills and drinks, she can't cry so I make that part up for the both of us. I can't until this day can not get over this. Believe me I want to, my mom, aunt, uncles and my son, all lost. I had more than my share. My best friend which was a cat died last year, the day after Christmas. I took it very hard. I don't know what to do anymore. My husband says that's life, his mom died too but hit's not the same he doesn't know what it's like seeing your mom lying down

[martharom724]

"The Grief Recovery Handbook" is really very informative and helpful for moving beyond death divorce, and other losses.

Thanks @John For sharing with us.

[rumishams]

i have dealt with three suicides so far in my life and a friend's boyfriend just took his life recently too.

it is one of the hardest things to deal with. it has been the hardest in my life. as a person with a diagnosis, my feelings around it are more confusing and deeper than an average person's would be, i think.

not sure, but the guilt has been almost ever-present for years now.

thank you for this post, i will check out the link.

[Pikku Myy]

I am so sorry to hear about your losses There is no rational way to process loss that occurred in this manner. I too have lost several friends this way.. and first reaction that came to me was anger before I could even grieve. It will take time to heal Be good to yourself.

[thewidow]

I am waiting for it to get better. It doesn't seem to get better, just worse.

[bkwrm945]

Originally Posted by lostmysoulmate

it has been a year this past june i lost my husband to cancer he was my best friend an i just feel lost without him i just feel like im going on like a robot thats been programed to do the daily things going on.
22 years of bliss an now nothing yes i have my memories but thats not hugging me loving me or comforting me im just sad all the time.

missing my soulmate

I know what you mean. My husband has only been gone a bit over 2months. We were married 39 years. I'm not sure what I would do if I didn't have my dogs. I have to take care of them. I miss him so much, and it's not getting any better. I'm still crying often, and also sad. We knew how sick he was but it's not something you can prepare for.

[gerte]

Originally Posted by thewidow

I am waiting for it to get better. It doesn't seem to get better, just worse.

i lost mine 8/12/15..9 mos. ago feels like 9 seconds ago, some days I am ok but most I just push on because after 42 years i know what he wants me to do but i got to want to find JOY,getting closer but it is so hard when you hurt so bad.
Praying for you and I..Good Luck

[lubica77]

Waiting for nothing expecting nothing no joy, no hope. Feel like I'm drowning. There's no exit to this pain.

[spring2014]

hi everyone,
I been through so many losses in my life its hard to imagine.just recently after the passing of my parents I loss my job last summer,my car 8 months ago,my choir director retired in May and my music director left this past weekend cuz of a new music director . im not ready to deal with the new music director cuz im dealing with the losses of two very important people in my life that made an impact on me over the past 15 years I been in choir. im seeing a therapist about my losses and she is a great help to me . how do I move forward from losing my choir director who retired she has been my confident over the past 15 years I have known her ?

[spring2014]

hi docjohn,
that book sounds familiar to me. I took a class that was titled "Death and Dying" in high school . by the way im spring2014. I had many losses in my life . now im dealing with another loss cuz of my choir director who has just retired in May . im seeing a counselor now to help me get over my losses as well as my anxiety and depression . I was also traumatized by my dad who is now passed away after what he had done to me four years ago after my mom died in 2010 . im also on meds to help me with my anxiety and depression .I too am studying to become a counselor too in the near future.

[Shadow13]

Two weeks from today will be the ninth year since the day my eldest son was killed in his car, he was twenty-seven.
I still have very intense emotions about losing him, especially on this day, even nine years later.
I feel very guilty about saying or doing anything about him around this day as my living children do not want any reminders about it. They will celebrate his birthday, but refuse to grieve together on the day we lost him.
Last year I was severely reprimanded for posting on social media. This is something I'd done every year in addition to his birthday. I don't dwell on his death, but I need to keep this day to honor the fact that I miss him terribly, I miss who he would have been, who he would have married, what a great father he would have been, and wonder about the circumstances surrounding his death, as there is no information on what exactly happened to cause or precipitate the crash.
I just need to open up about this since I'm not going to be able to be myself.
Thanks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cuehip]

Others can be very harsh in the demands put on others when it comes to politically correct grieving and often hold everyone to some imaginary acceptable protocol and or acceptable vs unacceptable behavior. Huh? Our relationships have unique dynamics that are powerful personal and private. Actions by anyone grieving should be left alone and acknowledged as coping and the business of how is not for anyone else to define or judge. Leave it where it belongs, in the heart where GOD is. Who should play GOD? There is no instruction on proper grief other than what's in your heart. I'd suggest you listen to the source most comforts you and feels right and request your loved ones to listen to their own as well.

[mommaB33]

I'm trying to deal/cope with the sudden death of my children's father and my soul-mate...... any help would be great... I'm pretty much alone , no one understand's..