Why is it so depressing?

Why is it so depressing to know you lost your mom, yet think about maybe calling her. I couldn't call her the 3 years before she died, due to dementia and in a rest home. But it used to be the feeling of, oh, I might just call mom, wondering what they're doing, wish I could see them.
Now she's gone and he's still in the rest home. He was about 7 years older than her, he's 90 now. He's been a hard case, she had such a sweet spirit these last few years, maybe not so earlier in her life. He's the opposite now too.
Just to call your parents when they were younger and better, can make you feel good, you know. As long as the relationship is good with them anyway. It takes you away from where you are and what's going on where you are. That can happen, to talk to almost anyone, yet it can feel different when it's a parent you're close to, I think.
I thought of calling my mom just awhile ago. She could help me feel better. I've been sick some lately. Don't like it, getting it checked. She could pray with me and all. Moms can be like that. And I miss that now. First funeral and all ever had to plan. Was hard, she died Aug. 31, this year. Had felt at times like I'd already lost her due to the dementia/alzheimers, plus being in that rest home. But at least she was there and could see her every once in awhile.
We moved here to take care of them, even though they'd been placed in a home. To help with their needs anyway. I'm glad I had the last 3 years with her, helped I think. We'd lived for so long away from them and I missed a lot. Now she's gone. But I know she's where she's better off and I know I'll see her again some day.

I once called a "boyfriend" and a woman answered. I knew he didn't like women so I knew there was no woman there. I also knew I had called the right number. I told the woman I had the wrong number and hung up and started thinking. Took me maybe 30 seconds to realize I had called my grandmother who had been dead 8-10+ years! Someone else had that phone number now :-)