Grief and time

The 27th will be 11 years since my dad passed. And I always have a tough time with it. I feel like it was yesterday and at the same time, longer than 11 years. It doesn't ever get any easier. I think it gets harder because I'm afraid I am forgetting things about him. His laugh, how he walked, etc.

Does anyone else ever have this fear?

Yes. My dad has been gone almost 19 years. We had a complicated relationship but I no longer remember most things about him. My mom died 10 years ago and I have many memories, but its extremely hard.

I feel in some ways grief gets easier with time and in others it gets harder. My dad has been gone more than half my life. That's hard.

I'm not really afraid of forgetting any memories of my parents but, I do wish Ihad spent more time with them and listened when they wanted to teach me things. Because I didn't listen as much when I should have I am now having to learn the hard way. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Maybe you should write down your happy memories of your dad so, That you can reread them when you feel this way to help you to remember him better.

I lost my dad in 2010 and my mom in 2014. It is still hard at times when I think about my mom or dad or wished we could have discussed things that bothered me or just miss them and want to see them. It makes me teary eyed. I didn't have the greatest relationship with either my mom or dad and regret things and wonder if they think differently now. I haven't really forgotten what my mom looks like because i can picture her in my mind. My dad I have somewhat forgotten because he was in and out of my life my whole childhood and most of my adult life.

I can't believe it, but it's been 25 years since my dad passed away. A few months after he passed away, I found one of his college lecture cassette tapes from one of his classes he taught. I listened to that cassette tape a lot, so that I could remember his voice. I have since lost that cassette tape, much to my disappointment, but I still remember his voice, the sound of his laugh. We didn't have a great relationship but he sometimes was a good dad.

Grief is strange. When I think I'm starting to forget him, I"ll look at photos that trigger my childhood memories.

According to the calendar, it's been a little over a year since mom died. BUT it doesn't feel like it; it feels more recent to me. More like a few months....

Also, it's like time has stood still in some ways, like I'm still in the "I can't believe it" so-called stage. I know there's no timetable on grief, and there's no "right or wrong" way but I find it to be of little comfort these days.

It doesn't help that my surviving "family" are emotionally unavailable/closed off. (Dad and brother) My dad gets angry if I bring her up, I can't even talk about it with him. And my brother is mad at me and not talking to me, as he resents me for not coming down. Well, I have my side of the story which he isn't going to be receptive to. He's judging me, so be it.

I know time is supposed to make things less painful, as it has for me in general, but time is sure moving slowly.......

part of me hopes (and prays) that I never forget bethany.

I know she won't come back no matter what I do- that's final

however.... the things that remind me of her are just..... sad

example: she liked the music to avenue Q, and If i listen to the avenue q music, it just makes me cry

she liked KFC, and when I have one it makes me sad because it makes me think of how she'd go out at lunch time and run down and get a huge bucket of chicken

sometimes even when I see an ambulence it makes me think of her... it's all she wanted to do- was save people's lives and work on the ambulence

I guess.... that eventually the memories will be too painfull, and I will forget

not yet though. I'm not ready to

I remember the day she died vividly



and her life was just starting to look up too.

but I guess it was too late, huh

I lost three of my grandparents from 2012-2014. My cousin took his own life leaving behind a wife and a newborn in 2013. I've never been that depressed in my life and to this day am still grieving. I recently lost my uncle to cancer. I had a long relationship with two of my grandparents fortunately, but to my despair didn't have a relationship with my cousin or other grandmother (just didn't have an opportunity to besides mail and email).

I still wish that I would be stronger and move on because I can't go back in time. I hated myself after they died for not getting closer to them before they died. My grandpa was in a nursing home which I just hate the idea of. I'm taking care of my parents when they get older just like my aunt took care of my grandma.