[itsjustme111]

Hey all. I wanted to tell u all that I know I have been avoiding things with u guys. I am sorry; just trying to hold it together. My mom is really sick right now and theres alot going on in my head. With my eating; well its a gross topic and I feel bad talking about it. Like u all want to hear about yucky stuff like this. Please dont take it to heart; I do want to talk very much; having a hard time with it. I posted this hear because I feel a loss of myself; control over my actions. And I am worried sick about my mother. I will be there every step of the way; I always have been. I have two sisters; they never once went to her chemo; nor helped her at home. Makes me mad because they could have. But thats okay; she does have me. She may be cold hearted to my concerns but its okay. I wont let myself regret later that I was not there for her. I will always be with her; no matter how sick I get.

justy

justy

[squirrel]

Yeah, your situation sounds real hard for you. You are doing a good thing to stand by your mom.

[itsjustme111]

thanks squirrel. It can be hard yes; but so many others have much more to deal with. But like someone said not to long ago; we cant compare our pain and our struggles. It is hard for us all no matter what these issues are. Its real for all of us and a damn hard fight!!

justy

[Anadder]

I am truly sorry about your mom being so ill, but it seems very clear that you have a good heart and give heaps even though it's probably at great sacrifice. Still, in my opinion, when your heart is as good as yours sounds, you couldn't do it any other way. Your mom who is going through her own hell is at least fortunate to have you. It sounds, though, that she hasn't been as supportive of you in the past when she had the chance. That's a really tough one. My heart goes out to you. I sure do hope you pull through this and are able one day in the not too distant future to look back; see the hell; and realize with relief that you're no longer there. I also hope that you draw strength from those who are wishing you well, well, well!!

[gloria]

Please know that we are here for you.
With my heart in my hand, please know that we care.

gab

[friedgreymatter]

you are very loving, justme. you are going through so much and mother is ill.

I don't know why your sisters treat your mom like that. mom loves you most for a reason, justme and she's lucky to have you by her side.

I really hope you get the eating disorder under control. I know it may seem like a yucky subject. It's okay, just. People are understanding here. Going in everyday will help. That is a good thing. Now kids are with mom who loves them. Things are looking up, justy.

I just hope mom gets well. Take care, just.

And... hope kid gets over chicken pox. Poor fella.

bye bye.

[itsjustme111]

Such a wonderful feeling to come on and read this. Your caring is amazing. My son is feeling pretty good. Just itchy. Went to the doctor, no more needs to be said. My mom is avoiding everyone. She is pushing us away. But I will still be here for her. She needs time to deal with this. I leave messages when she wont answer. My kids tell her they love her and we usually sing a silly song on the phone. That always makes her laugh.

justy

[itsjustme111]

My mom is feeling really crummy. But I am glad she is talking more. She goes to the cancer clinic soon, so thats a relief. They need to do a CT scan to see whats going on in there and then decide which treatment to do this time. I am hoping to feel better by the time she goes. Only a couple of weeks away. Its only a hour and 45mins away. I would like to meet her there. I always get so emotional though. I need to hold it together for her. Last time I totally fell apart in front of her and her doctor. I had to excuse myself from the room. I felt soooo bad. Its hard to hear that someone u love is so darn sick. But this time; I will give myself a kick in the butt and not do that again!!!! I will pray for my mom, she deserves so much better than this; dont we all though??

justy

[ktp]

(((Justy)))

I'll be sending good thoughts to you and your mother. Bless her heart. I know it's a very difficult situation for you. Don't beat yourself up too much about last time, you had every right to be upset! Besides, we're only human showing human emotions in a very difficult time. Know that you and your mom are in my thoughts and I hope everything works out for both of you. Best of luck!

Take Care.

[Wants2Fly]

Prayers and hugs. I'm sorry.