[Christina86]

I don't know if I'm actually grieving at this point, or if I'm even allowed to or am going to...

Last week another of my relatives died.

Great Uncle Ross died at the age of 90. So he had a long life... but I never really knew him.

Is it possible to grieve for those people in your family, and in your life, that you never really get to have a relationship with?

I have so many cousins, and other relatives, that I barely know. The size of my family and the fact that my family seems to be dysfunctional and distant on many levels seems to lead to this problem.

Take one of my deceased relatives as an example.

His name was Robert. He was born, and died about 19 years before I was even born.

He had the same disability as I do. That's why he died, because medically, the technology hadn't been created yet to allow him to live.

I never knew him, and nobody ever talks about him. Perhaps out of embarassment. I find it sad... I could have someone I have so much in common with, and he's dead.

So many of my relatives die nowadays, being as they're mostly in their 50s+.

I just find it sad, that I'm an emotional person and I don't feel anything for these almost unknown family members.

Whereas I'm an emotional wreck when other family members die... some of them furry, and four-legged.

I just don't understand this grief thing. I don't understand my emotional self. And now I'm rambling... so I shall end it.

[bebop]

I think it is normal to grieve for members you don't know. maybe it is more that we realize we are mortal. I think we realize how short life is. I am sorry for your loss hon. (((hugs)))

[DocClyde]

(((Canders))))

Yes, sweetie, it is indeed normal.

[onlymedid]

I'm sorry another relative died. I would be upset too, no matter how close or not I was with someone in my family.



BJ

[Christina86]

((((((((Be)))))))))))
((((((Clyde)))))))))
(((((((BJ)))))))))))

Thank you... it seems so surreal to me, still even now. I went to the memorial service, and it was really nice. But am I even allowed to grieve someone I don't really know? It doesn't seem like I should... I barely knew him. Sigh.

I'm confused.

It's normal to grieve the death of someone you didn't know. Often, especially if they are a family member, we can find similarities and bonds, even if you've never met. Sometimes, when a family member we've never met dies, you can start thinking of how you never met them, and now you'll never have a chance, which can also cause grief, in my humble opinion. Everyone is different when it comes to reacting to death.

(((((( Christina86 ))))))


I am sorry for your loss and I hope you feel better soon.

[DocClyde]

Grieving is not just related to those we know.

For instance, we can grieve over those people in China or Myanmar, even though we don't know them, we can feel horrible that things happened to them and feel sad.

[BalishBun]

I think you can be upset and all, even for someone you didn't know or didn't know too well. We had a teacher die at our highschool, I never had him as a teacher, i just knew of him. I cried, and i didn't even really know him.