[SweetSunshine]

A mother never forgets

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Bethy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[SweetSunshine]

((((((( Tomi)))))))

Thank you hon, Just dont know why its gotta hurt so much yet after 20 years. My heart is just feeling so dang empty right now for the time I never got to spend with my baby(s).

[nowheretorun]

(((Sweet)))))) hoping you can feel better, ive 'lost' one of my own and it hurts..

[bebop]

((((bethy))))

[HALLIEBETH87]

*hug*

[sabby]

((((((((((((((( Bethy ))))))))))))))))

While most times the pain is not as difficult, there are definitely times when the pain sure can stop us in our tracks, no matter how long it's been since we've lost them. I'm right there with you hon....and feeling the same way!

Gentle
sabby

[SweetSunshine]

Thank you ((((((((((((((NWTR)))))))))))))))) Its an endless pit of emptiness to have lost a child. And so hard to understand ( if one can) why this happened.. how it could happen. When so many children out there have to go thru the abuse they do and not be around the loving parents they deserve to have. The kind we know we could be to them. Just boggles my mind and heart. I hope someday, those of us who have gone thru this kind of loss, will have peace in our hearts to fill the holes we have now.

[SweetSunshine]

(((((((((((((( Bebop )))))))))))))))) thank you !!

[SweetSunshine]

((((((((((((((( Halliebeth)))))))))))))))) Thank you !!

((((( Sweet )))))

When my nephew passed another member shared this with me so I saved it on my computer, hope you don't mind if I share with you too.

A Child Speaks Out From Heaven
-R Wilkins

Although you think I've gone,
And you feel your hearts are breaking,
You think I've left you both,
In a world you see as taking.

I know you feel so cheated,
From the little time we had,
But this isn't what I want,
To make you feel so sad.

Please believe in me,
You don't have to let me go,
I live on in your hearts,
So much more than you can know.

I know it's hard to understand
But one day you'll know I'm right,
You needn't stumble in the dark
You can always use my light.

Please know that I'm still with you,
And that all these words are true.
You once looked after me,
Now I'm looking after you.

[SweetSunshine]

(((((((((((((((( Sabby)))))))))))))))))

That is so true.And for the life of me, I tried so hard last night to bounce out of it, I tried to laugh, I tried and tried, but it wouldnt last. Everytime , I just kept crying , sometimes this God awful whaling cry. The kind you see in streets of war where mothers are in roads holding their children who have been victims of the war. The pain is still that real, that haunting. The losses too many and I still dont know why , why God wouldnt give me a child , a grandchild for my mother to call her own. She had so looked forward to this. I just wish I knew why , why my body couldnt handle bringing a child into this world . To give the love I still have for each on I lost to. I failed , I failed my children, I failed my mom, My husband. I need to get past this, I know i do, just not sure how .

[SweetSunshine]

OMG (((((((((((((((((( Griffe))))))))))))))))))))) Thank you so much!! What a blessing that was to see that poem. I really needed to know this.

I am so sorry for your loss hon.

Hugz
Bethy

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((( Sweety Bethy )))))))))))))))

No no no no...you are NOT a failure....you did not fail anyone.

Sometimes the answers as to why things didn't happen that we wanted to happen are just not easy to see. I believe there is a reason, but sometimes we are unable to either accept the way it is or we cannot look at the path our lives have taken to see that it's exactly as it should be. That said, it does not at all mean that we have failed at anything......we are all "works in progress". As long as we are breathing, trying, learning, applying we are successful. I truly believe that your talents and what you are on this earth for will be realized by you when the time is right. Things will click in your mind and heart and you will find peace and the knowledge.


sabby

[SeptemberMorn]

You're not a failure in any sense of the word, Sweety! Loosing your babies was no more your fault than the abuse you received or the mental illness than can come upon you when you least expect it.

There's always a good reason for things that happen, even if they hurt us. This was totally out of your hands, Hon. Stop beating yourself up over things that are beyond your control.

You know I've lost a daughter and two grandsons, one of which was attached to my hip. That was a bitter loss because my own daughter, my first born rejected me and took her two sons with her. I was bitter and mourned the loss, I blamed myself completely... until I realized that it was beyond my control, she had made her choice.

You're blessed in the fact that this wasn't your case. It just wasn't meant to be. There's a good reason, even if you don't know it right now. It will become clear to you in time. I promise.

Don't let this be a stumbling block in your growth and health. You've accomplished so much since I first met you! It's perfectly normal to still feel the pain. I still do, too. Allow it to come, but then let it go. Don't hang on to it.

[bebop]

you are not a failure. sometimes it is not for us to know the reasons we lose our children. completely unexplainable. that does not make you a failure. One day you will be with those you lost and love them still. ((((hugs)))))

[SweetSunshine]

I think I just got really caught up in my emotions today.I've been doing better this evening. Just getting it out by talking it over with you guys helped alot. The pain just gets so intense sometimes. Thank you everyone for your kind words and understanding. It made all the difference for me today.

[jbug]

Beth....although I do not know what you are going through I wanted to send you gentle hugs ((((((U)))))))


Jbug

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((SweetSunshine)))))))))))))))

[DocClyde]

(((Bethy)))

We love you

((((sweet)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
My friend I am so sorry. I feel your pain. You are such a good person and so loved here. Never should anyone feel that kind of loss...
You my friend are so strong more than you know. Its there deep inside you . I can see it. Your grieving....with a loss like that i am sure your heart aches. Mine aches for you...

Up above the children gather
On a cloud made just for them.
They know thier parents are hurting
They want them to know they are safe.
Up above the children have love
on a night they send it back to the parents
They watch from high above
they are the special Angels
who watch over us.....
author unknown

muffy
please know i care

[SweetSunshine]

(((((((((( Jannie)))))))))))) TY very much for the hugs. Sometimes its the little things that mean so much.

[SweetSunshine]

((((((((( Jannie ))))))))))))) Thanks for the hugs. Sometimes its the little things that mean so much.

[SweetSunshine]

((((((((((( Wanttoheal))))))))))))) TY Sweetie for the hug and for always being so good to me!

[SweetSunshine]

(((((((((((( Muffy))))))))))))))))

I don't have the words that could thank you enough for this gift you've given me with this poem. It brings me such peace. And the heartfelt love you gave in it , reached my heart in so many ways. All my babies in one place, together , giggling, playing, laughing , holding hands.. on the cloud. I can see them being happy there. That is the gift you gave me with this poem. A piece of mind knowing they are ok and safe on their cloud. What a beautiful thought and feeling. Thank you my dear friend for that. I always know you care.