[silver_queen]

These past few days, particularly today, I am missing my mother. Some of you already know that she died when I was very young, when I was 6 months old. So I never actually knew her all that well, and I don't remember her. I don't even know if she wanted a child, or a girl. I don't know if we had much contact either, since we were both ill. I was premature. Is motherly love different to fatherly love? In any case, I want some right now.

There is also the fact that I never knew my grandfathers either. My dad's father died when my dad was a boy, and my mother's dad died before I was born, in a work accident or something similar to that. So I did have my grandmas...my mother's mother died when I was about 14, and my dad's mother died either last year or the year before. So now I have no grandmothers or grandfathers.

I guess the whole point of this post is to say I am feeling a little lonely. If it even makes any sense.

[Mahali]

(((((Silver))))) Hugs if you want them. Of course it makes sense. I do not know if motherly love is different than fatherly love but they are both powerfull. You are feeling lonely and that is what is important right now. I am pretty new here but I would like to share this with you...
My children always told me that the family members who passed before us become our guardian angels and watch out for us. They are with us at all times. Helping us to make wise choices and protect us. Watching us at all times. But then my son would add...but not when we go potty!

I hope this makes you smile just a little bit. More hugs to you if OK (((((Silver))))).

Take care.

place

[wisewoman]

Silver, your lonliness makes sense. I am sorry you never got to have a female parent. I have no idea if a mother's love is different than a father's. But you are craving mothering and that is clearly okay and appropriate. Maybe in this world when we don't have families we can all find people who will be our chosen familes. Peace sweetie.

[silver_queen]

Thanks place. Yes, it did make me smile.

[silver_queen]

Thank you wise. I don't know why I am missing her now. But I suppose you are right in that I do want mothering. Oh well.

[wisewoman]

I'll mother you Silver. Hmm, do your homework, brush your teeth and wash your clothes. Be well dear.

[silver_queen]

haha, thanks wise.

[wisewoman]

You are wonderful Silver. You don't have to do anything but be well.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( silver ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i once told you, you'd fit right in well as my middle child i'm here for you, dear, when you need me. i know that doesn't replace what you so desperately need right now, but i'm here for you in the capicity that i'm able. hey, and i LOVE to talk and give advice! whew, too much (ask the other two )

you're very special to me. please know that.

kd

[silver_queen]

Thank you kimmy

[SweetCrusader]

(((((((((((((Silver)))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you didn't get to have your mom around. Have you ever thought of "adopting" a mom? Like maybe a woman in your community who never had any children? Or an older lady whose children never come around?

I was fortunate enough to be close to my mom, but I still have several "adopted moms," too and I say a woman can NEVER have too many mother figures

*big hugs*
Angela

[silver_queen]

Good suggestion SC... but there isn't anybody really. Other than my aunt... but there is always a distance between us because we can't fully understand each other... for example sometimes I make a remark that for example my dad would find funny but my aunt takes offence to it... so yeah...

[silver_queen]

sigh... I don't know what triggered this... I ache from feeling the loss of my mother... it was 20 years ago now and most of my life I haven't missed her. So why now? I need some real-life hugs now and there is nobody to give them...

I'm very sorry you've had so much loss in your life. All so young too.

My college entry essay was on family. Since my family is three people--me, brother and mother--family to me is what I make it to mean.

My family consists of people who've known me since birth, older wiser friends who are there through thick and thin, the people who have taken me in and sheltered me when I was in the storms of depression, the people I celebrate yearly traditions with and sometimes that means new people are taken into the fold of what I consider family.

You might be surprised at the people who might already consider you part of their families. (((((((silver)))))) sorry you're lonely. you express yourself very well here.......I only wish I could write about the grief in my life with such stark truth. I hope that if you are able to journal you do........you've written out some important stuff here.

(((((((((((((silver)))))))))))))

I'm not old enough to be anything but an older sister if that. Why now? because grief is grief.........it comes up when it does.

ride it out and keep reaching out.

(((((((silver))))))) I'm so sorry sweetie that you don't have real life hugs

[silver_queen]

Thanks ((((((((zen)))))))) for your support and kindness.

[Mahali]

(((silver))) I am sorry you are feeling so down. Others are right, there is no rhyme or reason when we are experiencing grief...it just is what it is and makes us feel what we feel. No grief is ever wrong. Maybe this is just the time when your brain decided it was right for you to experience the grief. I don't know...I am just talking wishing I could help more. If there is more I could do please let me know.

place