Getting through the holidays

This year has been a difficult one dealing with the loss of two very dear family members. In August, my 25 year old cousin was killed in a construction accident, and in September my grandma passed away due to kidney failure. I've found myself feeling more depressed during this holiday season than any other, mainly thinking that these family members won't be around to celebrate. I keep finding myself, thinking as if they were still alive, wondering what to get my grandma for Christmas, remembering that I had planned to give her a variety of perfumes that she loved. And then I catch myself and realize that she's gone and it just seems to hit me hard. I miss her so much. And my cousin, I think about how this will be the first Christmas his two small children will be without him, and my heart aches for them. I remember growing up around him, his birthday was close to mine so many times we would go to our grandparent's house and share a cake to celebrate our birthdays. I can remember his smile, and his kindness, he was the nicest, most gentle person I ever knew. He always made people laugh and smile. I miss him too. I think I'm just ready for this holiday season to be over. I feel like I don't want to celebrate anything. It's just another sad year of pain and loss.

Hey dani,

all i can say is time heals all wounds. I went through something similar losing precious people in my life. so many in one year i thought i should be admitted. I just didnt think i could push past it. but i did and it took what felt like forever.

Im sorry you are struggling. Pm me if you need to talk.

Colleen

I've had similar experiences but have always had enough family around me that it didn't hurt as bad. There are times that I see things that either my mom or my daughter might really enjoy but somehow, I get past the moment.

Someone I know lost her husband and it really threw her for a loop for a few years. What she and her youngest daughter did was to think outside of themselves. They volunteer at rest homes and at homeless shelters during the holiday season. They always have enjoyable, touching and even funny stories to tell and seem excited to go back. It gets them through the holidays quite well, they say.

It's definitely something I would try if I could or was in a dire need to get through the holidays.

(((((((((( Dani ))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for your losses hon. Holidays are particularly difficult for many. One of the things I like to think about when feeling sad and missing a loved one at these times is to think in the following terms -

As painful as it may be/seem - I like to believe that the memories of holidays past are ways of connecting with those we have lost. Maybe, just maybe, that loved one is communicating with me by helping me to remember and never forget the impact they made on my life. So in that realm, I'm grateful for the memory and it gives me that moment to speak to them and tell them I love them and miss them and I know that someday we will be together again....when the time is right.

I don't know how many times I've been given that blessing of memory....everything is going on around me, I'm not thinking of anything but the here and now and all of a sudden, something brings me to think of that loved one....and remember the good times....yes, to me it is a blessing. I hope that might help you during the times to come.

Take good care

sabby

Hi Dani,

I am sorry for your losses this year.

I have lost so many loved ones that the holidays only serve as a reminder of the pain in my heart.

With hugs, love and prayers,

EJ