 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Apr 13, 2009, 06:33 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Coming up on April 28th will be the 2nd anniversary of my cousin being killed in Iraq.
He was a medic with the US Army who was killed by a bomb as he was running to help a fallen comrade. How unfair is that? He lost his life trying to save someone else's!!!   Anyway... at the first of this month, I started dreaming about him, and I would wake up ad realize that he was dead and (of course) start  or even worse, I have nightmares about him getting killed...A few days ago, my mom called, my husband answered because I was taking a nap because I hadn't slept much the night before due to nightmares about my cousin. My husband told my mom I had been having dreams about my cousin, and I started talking to her and she asked what was going on, why I was having dreams, etc. I said, "I don't know unless it's because the anniversary of his death is coming up." Her exact words to me were: "well I think it's sad and I hate it but you need to stop internalizing things like things like this and let it go." How the hell am I "internalizing" it? People can't control what they dream!!! (can they???) Is she right? Why can't I let it go? Why am I having nightmares? (possibly cause my hubby is a soldier?) |
|
#2
Apr 13, 2009, 11:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
~hugs~ No, I don't think you can really control your dreams. I also think that you are right in the fact a big part of why you can't 'let it go' is because your husband could have been in that position very easily. My suggestion is to try not to fight it as much, let the tears come, they care cleansing. And acknowledge how afraid of loosing your hubby you are. It will get better, I promise. Time doesn't heal the wounds but it does make the scab a little thicker so that the pain isn't always so raw.
__________________
 ~Bearchic34~Loving wife of TheLionKingLives (LK) & mother of 4 amazing children and 1 that flies with the Angels "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." |
 Miracle1986
|
|
#3
Apr 15, 2009, 10:25 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Manda
 I agree with bearchic that you don't have control over your dreams and your cousins death may be having such an impact on you because your husband is a soldier also. Your mother does not sound like she is very supportive of your feelings. Actually considering her son-in-law is also a soldier she sounds very thoughtless in her remarks. If she is just that kind of person, consider the source and don't expect or seek any support or thoughtfulness from her.   If she starts asking why you never talk to her, tell her!
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." 
|
| Miracle1986
|
|
#4
Apr 20, 2009, 07:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I miss him so much!!!!
The nightmares are getting worse... and turning into panic attacks when I wake up. |
|
#5
Apr 20, 2009, 09:22 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hi Manda,
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. My brother passed away on April 28th as well. My aunt and cousin just died a few weeks ago so I guess April is not looking so good for either one of us. I have no easy fix. No words of wisdom. We'll just have to go through the motions I guess. Keep posting. We're here and listening. 
|
| Miracle1986
|
|
#6
Apr 21, 2009, 10:35 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Manda
Are you seeing a therapist? If not, it might help, at least short term to get through this anniversary time.
__________________
I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free. But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
|
|
#7
Apr 21, 2009, 11:04 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
