[Willowleaf]

I am wondering if anyone has a similar problem? I will never believe I am truly ill. When my asthma plays up I tell myself it is all in my mind and I just need to pull myself together. I rarely have any time off work. I am always telling other people to look after themselves but don't feel I am ever as ill myself. At present I am suffering from concussion and am on a phased return to work over the next month. My doctor and osteopath keep telling me I need to take this seriously but I can't as I feel it is all in my head and I should just ignore things and push on. I am speaking to therapist about this but wondered if anyone else knew the feeling. I know it doesn't make sense but I can't stop it.

[Fresia]

Welcome to PC, Willowleaf!
I understand not wanting to give in to illness and to push ahead. However, it's so important to take care of ourselves and give us time to heal. If you have been giving time to take care and the docs are telling you to take care, please do so. You deserve no less than good care of yourself. There is nothing wrong with taking some time to heal. Do what you can, not push it, take things one moment at a time, and in no time you will be back to up to par. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Hang in there.

[-jimi-]

Maybe this is similar.

I have an extreme need for external confirmation that I am ill. I think it happened this way. I don't really send out "ill" signals when I'm ill, so people think I'm much better than I say I am. I nearly died once in hospital because I wasn't seen as a bad case, I "looked" so well, but when they finally examined me they realized I was totally burning up with fever and the meter they had for blood pressure was nor refined enough to even pick up my blood pressure because it was too low.

Got kicked out of rheumy care because I look "happy and healthy" and my diagnoses were taken away. In this case, even the labs couldn't save me.

So I internalized all people's reactions to me. All their telling me that I shouldn't complain, I'm fine, I don't look ill.

It comes a time when you believe them. I started doubting the signals I got from my body. Now I think everyone else feels much, much worse than me when they are ill and I'm sort of just making it up. I think that my shakiness and weird heart rate and that I collapse if I pressure myself if I push myself a little, is plain laziness.

I try to convince myself, maybe I can get sick, but I never believe me anymore. And if it is obvious that I'm sick, like with a bad cold (people notice that), I think it is just slight and others have the cold worse than I do.

I've never had a doc telling me to take it easy, but if they did, I simply wouldn't believe them.

[likewater]

((((Willowleaf)))) i do what you do and then get worse. The reason i do it is because no one took me to dr when i was little and i had undiagnosed asthma. I was just yelled at when i couldnt breathe and told to calm down . Everything was all in my head. Then as an
adult , i had a dr and ex husband who treated me like i was crazy
And i felt those feelings again. Now i have a caring dr and supportive bfriend and am realizing that i need to take care of myself, i have a RESPONSIBILITY to my friends, family and work and myself to take care of myself so i dont get sicker. Wishing you healing. Ypu deserve the time you need to recover. Peace.

[Astridetal]

I used to have a similar experience, and still think I'm overreacting when I'm ill. In my case it comes from not having been taken seriously as a child (my parents stopped taking me for check-ups when I was 9, even though I had several health issues). I am now dealing with unexplained symptoms (as of yet), and constantly tell myself they're not real. However, they won't go away if they are "all in your head". Please do take yourself seirously.

[Willowleaf]

Thanks so much for your answers. I am really trying to make sense of all this. Therapist said it has to relate to how I was treated in the past, but all I can say is I was never ill as a child! Somehow I don't suppose I was never ill, just treated like it. I remember my parents once telling me I had been diagnosed as asthmatic as a child but they didn't feel I needed inhalers so had ignored it. Have overdone it last couple of days and just beginning to realise how I control the pain. Unfortunately by doing stressful activities I am not meant to. Pain only kicks in when I stop. I think this concussion could take a long time to go if I don't get the hang of this soon. At least through your posts and talking to T I am beginning to realise what I am doing. Thanks.