[shayne12]

So.. Had one of those bad days. Decided to start going swimming again and get a treadmill so I can work out at home.

Coouldnt go swimming- couldn't find my paperwork

Tried get treadmill of ebay - got outbid

Waited for partner to come home- just ended up in an argument..

What's the point in trying.. Always simply fail.. Feel like utter crap. Just a fat lump of useless used up lard. Sitting in the bath.. Tried to find some private time.. She's forced way in..

Can I not be heard?

Does anyone actually give a ****?

Will I ever look normal?

Lose weight?

Feel happy?

Or will I always wear this mask?

Either way I don't really see much point now.. I got all excited about a new change. I'm just kidding myself really. Life. Why do we have to live.

Sent Via the Technology within Shayne's Mobile Telephone.......

Shayne C is a bit of an artist! Hey Shayne...hope you're feeling better...low point it seems like. Are you still feeling sick?

[Maven]

So I noticed! I'm really sorry, but after replying to another of Shayne's posts, I forgot I was going to comment on the art in his sig. Very dramatic and dark! I'm in a drawing class for beginners, and I'm nowhere close to that good! I envy your talent! I'm working on mine and hope to be able to draw realistically, but also capture drama, emotion, and passion.

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Had enough of those. I know what you mean about being outbid. This is going to show you what kind of nutcase I am, but...you know how Hostess was closing and there would be no more Twinkies? I actually bid on an auction to get some (I was hoping for at least one, but I didn't want to pay $60 like I heard someone charged), and got outbid. Several other Twinkie auctions were going on, seconds from closing, and I jumped in and bid on another. Outbid! I think it was the third or fourth where I got in my bid at the last second and won! I got two boxes of Twinkies (and the person sending them said he's sending me a box of Ding Dongs, too! ) for $20.50 plus shipping. The thing was, before I started thinking about never having a Twinkie again (I haven't had Twinkies in YEARS!), I got feeling kind of sad, called all the stores I could think of in my area, no boxes at all!!! I have to admit, I had fun in those last-second auctions, and I've never bought from an auction on eBay before. Sure, Hostess says there may be a Chinese (I think? Or Asian?) company that will take over making them, so I may have freaked for nothing, but I'll still have Twinkies made by the original Hostess company. I don't feel guilty or bad about it, LOL! (I wouldn't have paid over $30, FYI.)

Now that I've said all that, I am worried I'm going to get diabetes because I'm a sugaraholic. I have to get it under control, if it's not too late already (so far, I'm not noticing any real symptoms). I need to lose a lot of weight, worried I won't do it. A few days ago, I missed a class because I overslept, and I drove to my college to turn my paper in, due that day. In the parking lot, I saw orange flyers on several cars, and I peeked to see what it was about. I saw it was for a chain gym, and I NEED to join a gym, so I stole it off the car, so I could call the company and see what the regular price is (after the deal is over--it's $120 for three months). I don't really have the money, and I don't know if it's realistic for me to say I'm going to do it and stick to it--I know myself--but I do NEED to, because I can't get up if I fall down, and that can be so freaking embarrassing! My legs have very little strength, so I need to join a gym and work my muscles. But when? I don't want to die, but I want to have free time and relax sometimes.

Sorry, got into blathering there. Just want you to know you're not alone.

sorry you had such a bad day, shane

it happens to the best of us

[Leed]

Hi Shayne ~ I hope you wake up to a better day today. Things are useless, and YOU certainly are not!

If you want to be heard and you are NEVER being heard, then you need to DEMAND the right to be heard. If your mate will not be quiet long enough for you to be heard, then you need to TELL her to be QUIET long enough for you to say what it is you need to say! She needs to listen -- some people like the sound of their own voice rather than listening to what others want to say. Perhaps that's what the problem your mate has.

You can STILL be excited about change, if you WANT to be. There are other treadmills out there -- don't give up before you even start. One bid is nothing. Keep trying -- you'll make it my friend. It can be exciting to try to outbid someone! Make it a game!

So you need paperwork in order to go swimming? Just look for the paperwork. You'll find it -- then you can go swimming, right? No problem. Don't give up so quickly, okay? Sometimes we have to do a little work before we get what we want.

You are NOT A FAILURE. You're a good, vital, kind human being who is needed on this earth! Whether you know it or not, you leave your mark wherever you go. You impress people! Keep going and you'll get where you want to go -- that's for sure!!

God bless you Shayne, and please take care. Hugs, Lee