[Webgoji]

So the new therapist is sending me to the normal doctor. She wants to be sure that there's nothing structurally wrong with my brain. (It's not a toooma! It's not.)

I mentioned that I evidently lose entire weekends and holidays and such. Multiple days will go by that I have no recollection of and where I'll act totally out of character. Then there will be times that I'll have very detailed memories of something that never happened. She just wants to rule out something like a brain tumor or whatnot before digging further.

It's possible that my Major Depressive Disorder isn't that by itself, but hinges around something far worse and scarier. Since I'm not even sure what experiences I talk about are real, I'll refrain from posting too much. (Just not morally right to give advice based on an event that never happened.) I'll send out an update as I get more information.

[gayleggg]

Good luck on your phsycal health and mental as well.

[January]

I hope everything goes extremely well for you. I'll be sending prayers for you, (if ok).

Jan

[wife22]

Wish you healthy physical work up and psychological stability
Best wishes and luck

[sewerrats]

the first think they do in ENGLAND if depressed enough is brain scan and thyroid test , before you start treatment not after. i was found with thyroid problems and attended a thyroid clinic to stabilise that first. i still take thyroid meds. %50 cause of depression in people, i just so happen to have both thyroid probs and a damaged brain

[Webgoji]

Couldn't go to the doctor. We had to use the money to take my wife to the doctor (damage to her SI joint, I had to carry her into the clinic).

Not looking forward to going to the therapist this weekend. I'm already getting angry over it. My depression is starting to turn into rage and my vision is narrowing again. Anytime someone wants to talk about goals or support networks I start getting furious. Ultimately I've been alone in this from day one and now I may be fighting against myself and the depression.

Heck, I'm not even sure I'm writing this. I assume since I'm putting it here that I can come back and find it and prove to myself I'm not imagining it.

My migraines are almost constant now, brought on by tension. Not that anyone will call them a migraine (doctor, spouse, etc). Just because I have nausea, light sensitivity, severe pain, irritability, etc doesn't mean it's a migraine I guess.

I'm really getting scared that this is going too far south. The thing I feared the most in my life, losing my mind (like lucid and not lucid times and such), seems to be real and I'm scared to death of it. I'm terrified I might be a danger to someone and don't know what I can do but just keep going.

I just don't know. I'll do another update after talking to the therapist.

[gayleggg]

Sorry you couldn't go to the doctor, but understand the concept of no money for two visits. Hope your wife is okay.

Sorry you are having to face this without and moral support. Migraines are real and causes lots of issues. I used to have them, then they just stopped. Lucky me.

I hope you find out what is going on with your memory soon.