I have been having c-PTSD attacks so bad now for months that my congestive heart failure symptoms have returned. I noticed the other night that my ankles were slightly swollen. I keep on having the attacks numerous times daily.

Physically, things are not going well for me. My dyslexia is worse than ever. The neurologist is sending me to a seizure specialist. My weight is up and my lifestyle more sedentary because I am depressed and on meds that increase my appetite. I dropped my P-doc because he could not find an anti-depressant that I could tolerate that my insurance company would cover. Also, my IBS has been bad and my feet hurting. I will be making a podiatrist appointment next week to start treatment for a chronic problem that is painful. And, on top of all that, my T is after me to give up all wheat products to decrease the yeast and urinary tract infections caused by naturally high blood sugar. She hopes that that will enable me to have a love life but, frankly, I have already given up on one. Further, what I'm going to eat for energy I don't know since my IBS prevents my from eating whole grains. I am suffering from life burn-out and don't know how much more I can take. Can't my life just be over? I am tired of it.

[gayleggg]

You are having a lot of issues right now. I'm not surprised you're tired. That's a lot of medical stuff to juggle. Try not to give up and just focus on dealing with the symptoms your having now. Congestive heart failure is a major illness to deal with. My mother had it. Hope you feel better soon.

[unaluna]

I hear ya. I feel like I'm just so tired, but I keep hanging on.

Have you tried the low FODMAP diet for IBS? I feel like I don't know what to eat anymore.

Originally Posted by hankster

I hear ya. I feel like I'm just so tired, but I keep hanging on.

Have you tried the low FODMAP diet for IBS? I feel like I don't know what to eat anymore.

I have stopped eating many of the un-recommended foods already. Some of the recommended foods I cannot eat or can eat only in moderation including whole corn, nuts, seeds, berries, grapes, and carrots.

Right now, I am missing ice cream a lot. I will try to find a store that sells ice cream made of rice or almond milk.

Originally Posted by hankster

I hear ya. I feel like I'm just so tired, but I keep hanging on.

Have you tried the low FODMAP diet for IBS? I feel like I don't know what to eat anymore.

The FODMAP diet says that onions are one of the worst foods for someone with IBS. Another favorite food I have to give up. I like onions on almost everything. This is not going to be easy. In fact, it's going to be terrible.

[unaluna]

I know im a little older than you, but what I tried this week was to just not do as much, not let myself get as tired. Like instead of trying to do hour walks, do shorter walks. And I ended up not sleeping all day Friday, and getting some housework done (albeit sitting down), which is more than I've done on a Friday after a fsirly active Thursday (haircut, lunch out, t appointment, some walking) in a long time. But also it took me since August to build up to this. I've never taken vacations, because my mother always wanted to come with. So I just never went anywhere, unless it was like a work convention. T keeps telling me I dont know how to self-regulate. I say I have two speeds, fast and off. Is that your issue too? My parents never helped me work towards goals of any kind. They always thwarted them, either at the beginning, the middle, or the end.

Originally Posted by hankster

I know im a little older than you, but what I tried this week was to just not do as much, not let myself get as tired. Like instead of trying to do hour walks, do shorter walks. And I ended up not sleeping all day Friday, and getting some housework done (albeit sitting down), which is more than I've done on a Friday after a fsirly active Thursday (haircut, lunch out, t appointment, some walking) in a long time. But also it took me since August to build up to this. I've never taken vacations, because my mother always wanted to come with. So I just never went anywhere, unless it was like a work convention. T keeps telling me I dont know how to self-regulate. I say I have two speeds, fast and off. Is that your issue too? My parents never helped me work towards goals of any kind. They always thwarted them, either at the beginning, the middle, or the end.

I continue to have c-PTSD attacks while walking to the point that I have to stop. It's my thoughts. They cause an almost panic attack. Since I can't walk because of this problem, I'm also out of shape which isn't helping either.

My dad was grooming me to be a lawyer / politician. He died while I was in high school. Honestly, he spent way too little time with me and my brothers. Secretly we did not like him - he was not there for us when we needed him.

Mom is a selfish person and continues to be so even as she is dying from cancer. Yesterday, it appears that her new helper has helped herself to a handmade quilt. It was no where to be found. Of course, the helper denied it but it's not where she said it was. Who did mom stick up for? The helper. I discussed it with one of my brothers, if it does not reappear then she will be fired.

As a youth, mom said things like:
- you were born to take care of me
- love is not important and not necessary
- after I die you can do whatever you want
- tell your problems to someone else, I don't want to hear them
- when you grow up you're going to be very unhappy and it's not my fault
- breakfast is not necessary (she never made any)
- am I supposed to teach you how to do everything? figure it out how to do things yourself
- I don't care what career (or school) you choose just don't ask me for advice
- friends are not important, just take care of your family especially your dear mother
- most of this wonderful advice was screamed at me and my siblings.

I could go on. She is leaving me with a huge mess to clean up / fix after she's gone. She will not let me take action of any kind, e.g., I want to find my alcoholic brother an apartment so he can move out of Mom's house (he's 51) and have his own place for the first time in his life. It will enable me to settle the estate much faster because I anticipate he will not be cooperative in the least.

There is no cure for having jerky parents who want to break all the rules and only end up making my life more difficult if not impossible. Did I mention they gave me an awful name that subjected me to teasing for decades? Or, that they missed the registration deadline for kindergarten and put me in first grade instead where I was the shortest kid in my class for 10 years? All I can remember from a very early age is always being on my own. I still alone because I am unable to bond with others. My c-PTSD goes back to my relationship with my inept parents.

Sorry. As you can see, I am having a bad day. There seems to be no cure for my problems. My T says that I can adapt to my issues but there are too many and I am overwhelmed.

[gayleggg]

Let your T guide through this mess your parents has created for you. You deserve a better life.

[Travelinglady]

(((((unguy)))) Hope your problems will get better!

[H3rmit]

High blood sugar and inflammatory problems. Have you tried common spices for these, such as cinnamon and turmeric? It sounds like stress is killing you, all the abuse you've taken from your mother. Can't you walk away from her? To be honest, I get angry hearing about her, because she sounds like such a monster. I agree: you deserve better.

Originally Posted by H3rmit

High blood sugar and inflammatory problems. Have you tried common spices for these, such as cinnamon and turmeric? It sounds like stress is killing you, all the abuse you've taken from your mother. Can't you walk away from her? To be honest, I get angry hearing about her, because she sounds like such a monster. I agree: you deserve better.

Actually, I am considering doing just that - walk away from her. Yesterday she pulled more stuff. I have had enough. All she cares about is herself. It seems her life is dedicated to a game to ruin her sons lives. She is angry that she never had a daughter. So, regardless of what I do or what to do, she gives me a hard time. Like I said, I have had enough. I discussed it with my T today. I mentioned that I'd seen a job that appealed to me and wanted to apply for it. She agreed that applying for the job was a good idea and agreed that I should do it.

[gayleggg]

Good for you. Applying for a job is a big start. You mom is toxic. Don't know how you have dealt with it this long. Hope you get the job. You deserve a life of your own.