[reesecups]

This is ridiculous for me, but I have done so much damage to my ankles since I was a teenager that I actually try to walk with people as my fear of one of my ankles turning and no one being there to help terrifies me. Last year, I had my ankle turn and fell so hard, I broke my elbow and damaged my thumbs. I just found out through x-rays that at some time in the past, one of my ankles was broken and I was never aware of it.

But there are about three instances of it happening that, when walking with people and if I'm not preoccupied, I will start thinking so hard on one of these 'incidents' that I'm not aware of much else and it's only when I 'fall' and hear the ankle snap in my head, that I wince or moan and seem able to snap out of it.

I feel stupid that my trauma is nothing really, yet it controls my life to an extent. I've only told my outside T and a friend about it. It just feels too darn embarrassing for my e to be so traumatized over my ankles.

[winter4me]

Ankles are so complex. This is a real problem, and a real trauma. Have you worked with a physical therapist? (my head is thinking tai chi also, for balance)---there are ways to strengthen muscles that can help, I don't know if soft support (ankle "brace") would help, but you need to avoid further damage. I am also curious as to how the injuries occurred.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you have a problem to deal with.

[vans1974]

Ya, I agree with winter4me complex problem, but nothing to be ashamed about! Best of luck and hope you find medical help!!

[reesecups]

Originally Posted by winter4me

Ankles are so complex. This is a real problem, and a real trauma. Have you worked with a physical therapist? (my head is thinking tai chi also, for balance)---there are ways to strengthen muscles that can help, I don't know if soft support (ankle "brace") would help, but you need to avoid further damage. I am also curious as to how the injuries occurred.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you have a problem to deal with.

Thank you. As for when they occurred, I can remember on grade school being taken to the doctor once and him simply saying I had weak ankles. Frankly, nothing else was said or done, it was just accepted that was the way it was. I don't remember a lot from that time other than that, except my right ankle had been hurt so much that I actually developed a limp, even when it didn't hurt and I remember my father yelling at me to walk right. The next thing I remember was being a teenager and walking down the front step of my house and one of my ankles turning. I thought I had broken it, but had to wait for two hours groaning in pain while my mother put on her makeup before she would take me to the doctor. From then it just seemed like every year or so, one of the ankles would turn on me and I'd end up on crutches. To try to shorten this, I'll just say one of the flashbacks was from '99 when I had jumped out of bed, trying to get to the bathroom quickly, got my foot caught in the sheets and my right ankle turned. I ended up with one bone in my lower right leg shattered and a spiral fracture of the other bone. Along with my ankle broken. Now I have a lot of metal n my leg.

I had just accepted this and did not pursue it until a couple of weeks ago. I had sprained another ankle and was not real upset because it was not that bad and it had happened around people so I could be helped. I told my new therapist this and she asked what the doctor had said about my ankles and explained I had never been to be except when I was young. She suggested that there might be exercises that I could do to strengthen the.

I got home that night and called for an appointment with my podiatrist. Basically, he said there is too much damage to the ligaments in my left ankle and would require surgery to fix. Told me to walk with some type of support. When I asked about the right one (which has always been much worse) he told me that the problem was in the bones and the way my feet are. It would not just require a smile surgery but would require bone grafts and another pin in my ankle to fix. Said physical therapy would not help. I as pretty upset, though I'm not sure why as all he did was explain what I'd already thought...couldn't afford the surgery. And that's when I found out I had fractured my left ankle at sometime in the past. I'm going for a second opinion, but I'm not sure they'll have a different opinion.

Thanks for listening, sorry that it's so long.

[Bark]

The fact that you've hurt your ankles badly several times, your parents' reactions, and the fact that it's an ongoing problem where you could suffer again at any time... I don't see the trauma as stupid at all! Just picking one of those factors would count as traumatic for me. There is nothing to feel stupid or guilty about. The fear you have is a healthy one (if you weren't worried about your ankles and pretended nothing was wrong, there would be serious consequences). I hope the next doctor you see is able to find a solution not involving surgery, or at least less expensive surgery. Take care.

[reesecups]

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I don't feel so stupid anymore.
Hopefully the second opinion will be better!

[too SHy]

Originally Posted by reesecups

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I don't feel so stupid anymore.
Hopefully the second opinion will be better!

alwaysbuy the best shoes you can afford, ones with a high-ankle top, if possible. Never wear worn shoes, even a little worn. Replace shoes every time. good luck to you

[reesecups]

Originally Posted by too SHy

alwaysbuy the best shoes you can afford, ones with a high-ankle top, if possible. Never wear worn shoes, even a little worn. Replace shoes every time. good luck to you

Thank you. I wear a pretty good pair of New Balance that the doctor I saw didn't seem to have a problem with. But I'm going to ask more questions when I get a second opinion.

[winter4me]

Do get that other opinion, and another if needed. I am sure there are things that can be done to help, from the best of ankle-supportive shoes to exercises (never believe that exercise won't help, it won't cure, but it will build strength and more flexibility--you'll need to find out which ones are the right ones to do)---your parent's reaction was trauma enough...
Try to see an orthopedic doc.---let him/her know you can't afford surgery.
Best to you & let us know how it goes. Don't give up!

[reesecups]

Originally Posted by winter4me

Do get that other opinion, and another if needed. I am sure there are things that can be done to help, from the best of ankle-supportive shoes to exercises (never believe that exercise won't help, it won't cure, but it will build strength and more flexibility--you'll need to find out which ones are the right ones to do)---your parent's reaction was trauma enough...
Try to see an orthopedic doc.---let him/her know you can't afford surgery.
Best to you & let us know how it goes. Don't give up!

Thank you! I'm really holding out hope for the doctor I'm going to see next. He is an orthopedist rather than a podiatrist. Maybe?