[Sikka]

Recently I found a lump on my neck on my collarbone. As soon as I felt it I started freaking out, thinking I have cancer. I waited a few months to see if it would go away but it didn't so I finally mustered up the courage to get it checked out. Saw the dr, went for a cat scan, now I have to have it biopsied. I'm freaking out. The biopsy itself scares me. I'm afraid it is going to hurt but I am more afraid of being away from my boyfriend during the procedure (I have separation anxiety). It's a pretty short procedure but I am still very very anxious about it. So many things are running through my mind. Will he be in the waiting room when I am done? Will I be able to find the waiting room on my own?

Then there is after the procedure. Will I be able to work (we work together)? Or will he have to find a replacement for me while I recover and leave me home alone. THAT is my biggest fear. Being home alone, away from him, while he is working. He said I should ask my mom to come stay with me while he is working but that doesn't help. I want HIM with me. *sigh* I feel crazy.

I've also been spending a lot of time researching my condition to try and figure out what is wrong with me. The dr doesn't know and hasn't really said what it could be. They do want to test and make sure it isn't cancer. There's that word....cancer. That word I am all to familiar with. My aunt, uncle and Nana all died from cancer. My mother survived lung cancer. Do I have cancer? I'm a relatively healthy person (and I am only 24). I'm a vegetarian and I like to think I eat better than the average person. I am not very active but I do not smoke and I use natural products when I can. There isn't really a reason I should have cancer. My entire household smoked while I was growing up so there is a chance that could have caused cancer. If I have cancer I will have to have some sort of treatment which means I won't be able to work and I will have to be separated from my boyfriend. How silly is that? I am MORE concerned about having to be away from my boyfriend than having a life threatening illness. Yes, I think I am crazy.

[kaliope]

i have a couple techniques i use when it comes to anxiety and panic attacks. i wonder if they would work for you.

a way to stop panic attacks is to relax. it is physically impossible to panic and relax at the same time. you dont even have to really relax. just fool your brain into thinking you are relaxing. imagine as if you just did a meditation or had a massage and all your muscles have turned into limp noodles. just let them all go. this will stop the panic attack. you may have to do it a couple times over your first tries, but when i started doing this it ended the attacks and soon i never had a panic attack again,

i have this thing called an anxiety meter that i visualize in my head. it goes from 0 to 10, 10 being the worst anxiety ever. so when i am anxious, i see where the needle registers on the meter. then i do breathing exercises until i get it down to a four. which is manageable for me. sometimes i see a knob on the meter and i will manually turn down the meter to four so i can calm down faster. practicing this enough, all i have to do now when i am anxious is say dial down, and i can calm myself.

[slummerville]

They will give you anesthesia for the procedure and would not expect you to find the waiting room while you are under the influence. Usually they have friends / family in the waiting area and alert them when they can pick you up. They will not leave you alone during the procedure or after and they will make sure you are taken care of.

Sometimes we get things we don't deserve even if we have done all the right things. I actually have a similar lymph node on my collar bone and it's been there maybe 10 years. It's nice they are covering all the bases and making sure you receive the care you need.. But try not to let all the words bother you. I had a bunch of lymph nodes in my body flare up when I was very sick as a teenager and they simply never reduced. I find it strange, but lymph node behavior is erratic at best.

With a procedure such as a biopsy of a lymph node, I highly doubt you will be "out of commission" for long as the lymph node in question is not deep and you will have little to no recovery time (a week or less). You can probably be back to work in 2 days.

Keep us updated if you want!

[Sikka]

Had my biopsy on Friday. It went well. Wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. My results came back today and they were inconclusive . Now I have to go for a different kind of biopsy. Bleh. More phone calls. More meeting people I don't know.

[Sikka]

I wanted to follow up on this and say that I got my biopsy results back and it is in fact cancer. Hodgkins lymphoma specifically. *sigh* now for more testing and then chemo

[dancinglady]

I am so sorry.

[Perna]

My husband was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago and it is very scary at first but then starts to make more sense and develops a pattern of care, etc. You should still be able to work okay, though you might get tired and have some days when you can't. Maybe your boyfriend can work at home with you those days? My husband and I are retired so I can be with him whenever we want and it is very comforting for both of us going through this together.

[helloitsme27]

Originally Posted by Sikka

I wanted to follow up on this and say that I got my biopsy results back and it is in fact cancer. Hodgkins lymphoma specifically. *sigh* now for more testing and then chemo

How are you doing? There were so many things that I didn't think I could handle; until I did. I hope that you are well.

[kiwi33]

Sikka, I am sorry to read about your diagnosis.

Hodgkins lymphoma can usually be cured - good signs for you are your age (24) and the fact that only one lymph node seems to be involved.

The process (chemotherapy and possibly radiotherapy) will not be pleasant but you have an excellent chance (98% or better) of full recovery.

All the best .

[Sikka]

Originally Posted by helloitsme27

How are you doing? There were so many things that I didn't think I could handle; until I did. I hope that you are well.

I'm doing well actually. I've been pretty optimistic about everything and not very anxious at all. I'm proud of myself. I've been handling social situations well and talking on the phone isn't making me anxious anymore. I think it's because I know I have to do this in order to get better. Cancer is a pretty serious thing. I can't avoid it. I can't avoid treatment.

[Sikka]

Originally Posted by Perna

My husband was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago and it is very scary at first but then starts to make more sense and develops a pattern of care, etc. You should still be able to work okay, though you might get tired and have some days when you can't. Maybe your boyfriend can work at home with you those days? My husband and I are retired so I can be with him whenever we want and it is very comforting for both of us going through this together.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. What kind of cancer does he have? Which treatment is he going through?

[helloitsme27]

Originally Posted by Sikka

I'm doing well actually. I've been pretty optimistic about everything and not very anxious at all. I'm proud of myself. I've been handling social situations well and talking on the phone isn't making me anxious anymore. I think it's because I know I have to do this in order to get better. Cancer is a pretty serious thing. I can't avoid it. I can't avoid treatment.

That is great to hear. I know it must be scary to do things you aren't used to, but the seriousness of why would be a great motivator. I am glad that you are doing so well on that issue and I hope that the health issue ends sooner than later.

[Sikka]

Just giving a little update on this. I completed all of my treatments on December 24, 2015 and am proud so say that I am now CANCER FREE!!!! ^.^