how to i handle my 10stepdaughter?

She is staying with us for the summer and her father is going for custody of her. She has been knowned to steal and lie from her granmother. Got child services involved cause of her lying twice. She has ran away. Attacked her teachers and her granmother. Destroyed her things. This is all while she lived with the granmom. Since she's been down here she has tried to get my 4 year into trouble,has disrespected me more then once. And put her hands on my son's neck twice already. I'm trying my hardest not to go off on this child. I've been in her life for 7 years

You've got alot on your plate here. It's obvious you really care & are trying hard to make her feel a part of the family. She probably feels pretty bounced aroung at this point.
Because of safety of your other children I would feel need to get child services involved again. It's one thing to be patient with her but not at cost of wellbeing of your other children.

This forum doesn't get alot of reply's. Maybe try Relationships & Communication one, it seems to get alot of traffic.

Only wishing you the best.

Thank you

Wow it sounds like you have your hands full! We need more people who are willing to take on challenges with kids.

I think an obvious (to her) system of rewards and punishments must be in place to build on. This system must be consistent; action A results in reward or punishment B every time. Making her feel like your house is home and she is safe when she is there, is also a necessary part of the foundation. Part of her behavior (and this is just a guess) could be an attempt to change where she lives. If I mess up like this…..they will send me to…….where I really want to be. Or she could be testing how committed to her you are. And then again, she could just be board.

She needs counseling from a professional about the choices she makes, especially when they cause someone to get hurt.

Just do what everything you can to show her your love. And when or after you discipline her and she will listen, explain why she was punished and why you want to stop that behavior. Make sure she understands that your rules and punishments are out of love and nothing else. Be sure to reinforce her with praise for good choices. Find things to compliment her for.

She was in counseling and had been for a while. She got her counselor in trouble. Once he got full custody of her. We will be finding a place for her to get counseling and a doctor to retest her. Then we will go from their once we s

Custody.