[Patagonia]

Oppositional defiant disorder? How did you get the diagnosis? Is there a test? Are you using any special type of therapy?

My 9 yo shows all the signs.

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[googley]

There aren't any special tests. You should get your son into therapy asap to help with this. If there are other psyschiatric disorders there are medications for those, none specifically for ODD. You want to find a therapist who is experienced working with children. If you can find someone who does PMTO in your area, that is good for you to learn how to manage behaviors along with your son getting his own therapy and family therapy.

[buddyandcharlie]

I had never heard of ODD until just this past June 2016, when I was describing to a friend (who is a teacher) how unruly and defiant my three year old grandson is. She said, "It sounds like oppositional defiant disorder, is M (my daughter) a good mother?" I said yes and no. She has a terrible temper! Also, my grandson has a twin sister. She seems to be trying to compensate for his behavior by being overly solicitous at times. I have a son who is 29 and diagnosed with schizophrenia. My grandson is very attached to him, which is so interesting to me, but my son is another story. . .

[Christina86]

I'm familiar with ODD.

A friend of mine has a child diagnosed with it.

To get a diagnosis, they generally need to meet the criteria, as outlined in the DSM. Here's a PDF with the criteria: http://images.pearsonclinical.com/im...ntDisorder.pdf

There are different sorts of therapies that you can use. Depending on how severe it is (my friend's child was ODD and IED so she was very alarming to be around when she was upset about anything) they can recommend a bunch of different therapeutic techniques that might work.

ODD usually also comes with other psychiatric problems, so it's important to treat those as well at the same time. Medication could also be beneficial.

[Patagonia]

Thank you for the info. My DD who's 12 was diagnosed with it & fits in every criteria although these explosions in anger only happen at home. In school she does get very sullen.
She shows signs of SI but keeps herself very well covered.
She's extremely self centered which just might be her age, but I've always noticed her inability to show sympathy or an understanding of someone else's feelings. She's clueless.
And vindictive! Very much so especially toward her younger sister. She lashes out & does hurt her, but her sister does tease her sometimes so I have to take that into consideration.

She has encopresis which weighs heavily into this. She's been working w/a T for 3 yrs now & we've not seen any improvement in the encopresis, but her explosions are getting further apart.
My husband just doesn't understand any of it & actually makes it worse. He thinks she's "faking all this drama." So I feel like I have to take sides.
I hate this power dynamic that holds onto this house every single day. It hurts my other children too.

[technigal]

I question how much puberty is a factor in this. My son is just starting puberty (he had autism) and things have exploded. It seems like just when things were getting better all h3ll broke loose.

[abusedbyteen]

Puberty has EVERYTHING to do with it. The teen I am a caregiver for was doing just fine, some would say "normal" child even though she has early years issues from bio parents. Adopted and doing fine until puberty. Now she is violent, ODD, self harming, abusive to animals and adults who try to stop her. She has turned our home into a jail of daily abuse. She refuses to work with a counselor that is top in her field. She has become very self serving, non sympathetic to anyone even if injured or very sick. She acts out at a drop of a hat. She is now 17 and we are counting the days. 410 left. We have called every service available and she refuses to work with any of them even in home services. The police wont deal with her or even arrest her for breaking up the house or breaking bones of adults. HANG ON! It can be a very long vicious ride, and in Maine with no outside help without the severe mental illnesses being diagnosed. ODD means nothing in Maine.

[buddyandcharlie]

What I've read about ODD is that it starts in young childhood, like three years old! But diagnosis will not be given before the age of four and that if the issue is not addressed right away, it WILL be discovered when they start school. And then if not addressed this behavior becomes worse and worse and these kids often have long criminal rap sheets starting as juveniles. This is sort of general, but I've researched it a bit because I suspect my grandson has ODD. It requires intensive therapy right away and involves or is recommended the whole family be in therapy! And there is no medication for this disorder. This is complex. I think my grandson is also ADHD. He's super hyper, and I mean HYPER! And aggressive and destructive! I'm just done. I'm so sick of being in the middle of all this mental illness! I don't think ODD is genetic, is it? It's because of abuse, verbal and/or emotional abuse and I guess probably physical abuse. My daughter is single and has twins. The boy is my grandson I speak of and he has a twin sister. My daughter's temper is so terrible! So anyway ..... like I said, done.

[Patagonia]

My DD was diagnosed when she was 7-8? with ODD. She's never been abused.
I guess there is a spectrum for this like so many other MH diagnoses.
She LOVES to argue no matter what the issue & even if she is wrong. In her mind she is right & will voice her opinion & tell you yours is wrong.
She's been in therapy for at least 3 yrs & now the whole family is involved in it. I'm not really sure it helps much but I don't want it to stop.
She also has encopresis. She's 12yo.
Her biggest issue is controlling her anger when she gets in what we call the red zone. When she's there she is out of control & cant be reasoned with. We have to separate her from the family & ask her to use her skills to calm down. She always says she can't. But in time she does calm down.

Funny thing is she only does this at home. She's an excellent student at school, a role model for others & loves her place there. I think she is a different person there.
We're working with her therapist to see if she is in the autistic spectrum. From what I've studied girls present very differently in autism than boys do & most information about autism is based on boys. So we're not sure where she stands.
Recently with her therapist she told us that our DD has a great deal of power in our house. And she does. Her attitude & emotions can make the tone in the house very heavy. So instead of trying to "change" her what we're asked to do is disempower her. That as soon as our emotions change bec of her that she now has control.
This is can now see. So we're trying to take that power away from her. When she starts these rants we walk away from her & try to carry on normally & ignore her.
I can easily turn her off. The problem is my SO. He feeds into her issues & tries to control her, make her conform so he's seen as the boss. Plus he loves to argue too.
He's an issue as much as she is. It's like having 2 bullies in the house when they go at it. I need him to be an adult, not pick a school yard fight with her so his point is seen. She doesn't see anything!