[coldwut]

I really want to get testosterone so bad. I'm tired of people seeing me as someone I'm not. I'm tired of not being able to pass because my voice is too high. I hate my wide hips and weak arms. I hate that my birth name is on my school card so when I use it I get misgendered.

I need to find some way to get testosterone but unfortunately I'm not out to my family. I am out at school, but I will still have to come home to my family over the breaks.

Also, I'm not really sure how to get testosterone, or if I'll be ablable to afford it. I'm not sure what type should I get. Should I get injections, cream, or whatever else there is?

[Vanilla Cake]

Hi Coldwut
There are many programs you can join to change your gender (in the US). Most of them require that you have lived your life as a man for some time (their discretion). You are evaluated on a regular basis by a therapist to ensure this is indeed the route you want to take. Make peace with the fact that even though your body changes into a body who's skin "fits", there will still be a few tears for the "she" you left behind.

If you are serious about this you must speak to your parents and inform them of how you feel. Pretend it's a meeting and have your relevant points written down beforehand, try not to digress.

If you're in a program and are changing they will give you the right steroids, so don't just buy testosterone on the black market. You never know what you're buying.

Please don't feel despondent - one way or another you will end up in the gender you were meant to be. Go to Laura's Playground to talk to other transgender/sexual people, LPG has many resources for transpeople and is a safe and reputable place to be.

Remember, you were loved before you were born, your gender or sexual orientation don't change the person your mother gave birth too. It's still you, just a different wrapper.

[TheSeamster]

Have you looked into clinics that do informed consent? Some places will prescribe you t. There is a procedure to it, they talk to you about what you want from transition, your history of depression, they do some blood tests. The place I went to was in Chicago, and they were all very nice. Within about two weeks of my first appointment, the doctor said I was healthy enough and ready to start testosterone. So if you're worried about coming put to family until you feel more secure, but still want to start t, I'd definately see if there are any clinics in your area that operate on or offer informed consent. I found mine by just googling "fm informed consent". If you're near the Chicago area, look into the Howard Brown Health Center. Hope this helps!

[coldwut]

I am going to talk to my counselor again and ask him if he has any resources on transitioning. I am also going to email my school, again, to get them to change the name that appears on my email address. Right now it goes like birth name (actual name) last name. Hopefully this time they'll change it.

[TheSquids]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I am going to talk to my counselor again and ask him if he has any resources on transitioning. I am also going to email my school, again, to get them to change the name that appears on my email address. Right now it goes like birth name (actual name) last name. Hopefully this time they'll change it.

Hey got your name changed so frustrating to be assumed a gender by name or how you look.