Insane, maybe not the worst thing ever, but it's 'heavy', drains everything out of you.

There are definite triggers, i do my best to avoid them, i still have days where i have really bad dysphoria. I've been kind of 'numb' recently, did my best to avoid trans* support sites, and this 'transgender and other gender support' section of psych central too.

I wish everything would just stop for me right now, I can't even imagine what the future holds for me. I've always had big anxiety issues, and trouble socializing, and to be honest, I don't see it getting any better for me. I don't have much hope.

I can't figure out what I want to do with my life, because I feel like I was thrown into this. I didn't ask for this. I don't hate life, I just don't care. I wish I was a ghost. I feel like an alien on earth.

I'm just sort of 'existing', days come and go, weeks pass, happy new year, blah blah, and suddenly it's my birthday, and I'm a year older, I'm supposed to be happy, whatever.

I'm done trying to convince people that I may look 'okay' on the outside, heck, i might even be famous for my sense of humor, but inside, I'm not right, I'm not happy. My mom keeps insisting that I'm fine because I look 'fine' on the outside, to my family, I can't be depressed because they're great parents, they are great parents, and it's not really their fault that i have to put them through this.

I'll just keep living for now, yeah, whatever, **** it. I don't care anymore. each day is one step closer to the grave as they say,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but I hope it gets better for you. I cannot even imagine how it feels for you, and I'm not going to say that I understand. But i do know that there are many who are going through the same thing and all you can do it be strong, and move forward. I really hope that you are able to find peace. ((hugs))

[ringtailcat]

Hope things start feeling better for you If you want to talk, PM me..

[kraken1851]

Hey brokenentity, I wish I could say something to cheer you up...but I feel the same way. But I can offer a hug!

Thanks, everyone.

I don't have anything else to say, I'm just tired, depressed and sleepy.

[TheSeamster]

It's so unfair for your mom to say stuff like that! "You look okay, so you must be fine!"

That is literally how most depressed people are! I struggled for years, hiding my breakdowns and my anxiety, saying I was fine. I thought that because I acted fine, I couldn't be depressed!

I went for years without seeking help because I always thought depression had to be constantly crying and feeling worthless. But it's not.

It looks like life is really rough for you right now, and I wish I could be there for you in more than just text form. But please remember that all of us here are people, sitting on the other side of the screen, seeing you struggle. And we support you. We care about you. We want you to feel better. I want you to feel better. <

Take care of yourself. Get some rest. Cry if you need to. Take time to remember that your emotions are valid and important no matter what other people say. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know how you feel.

Thank you, Theseamster.

[starryprince]

I suffer with gender dysphoria as well, and it is very difficult. It feels as if no one wants to understand what I'm going through. I talk about it with friends but they immediately get uncomfortable. So I know how rough it can be. I can also relate to you about being depressed. People always tell me I look fine and happy but I'm the only person who knows how I truly feel. It's very hard, and it's isolating. I wish you the best of luck!

Originally Posted by starryprince

I suffer with gender dysphoria as well, and it is very difficult. It feels as if no one wants to understand what I'm going through. I talk about it with friends but they immediately get uncomfortable. So I know how rough it can be. I can also relate to you about being depressed. People always tell me I look fine and happy but I'm the only person who knows how I truly feel. It's very hard, and it's isolating. I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you,

I'm out of sorts, frankly just tired of dysphoria at the moment, it's like a relentless parasite at times, I don't know how else to describe it. I can't show it to anyone, most don't believe it.