[trashking]

things have just been hard for me again. for a while things were great/good/whatever.
today wearing some snazzy things i'd wear if my body wasn't..yeah...to school, and usually binding helps so much, but any way dysphoria is because of my hair (desperatly need a trim) and my big butt and hips, not to mention my very small frame.

i just wish i could be comfortable, i wish people saw me as how i feel rather than..ugh, my family's just been giving me a hard time, even my little brother. he's telling me "cross dressing" is weird and that i'm still a girl but HE DOESN'T GET THE WHOLE POINT IS I'M NOT? uugghh anyway. my parents almost made me out myself to my very homophobic/transphobic , highly religious grandmother. i had to say things that weren't true in front of her because she would never accept me. my parents KNOW WHY I "pUT MYSELF IN THE 'GAY COMMUNITY' " MY FACEBOOK NAME ISN'T SIMON BECAUSE I'M A REGULAR CISGENDER WOMAN MOTHER. So now my parents are completely cleared conscience i guess because they can pretend what i said was the truth and i'm ****ing fine but i just couldn't mention it to my grandmother i almost cried. she's told me before how she feels about "those people" this was mostly a rant i'm sorry life is just being stressful again, i might have to be a sophomore AGAIN EVERYTHING IS JUST so overwhelming....if i would've just been a regular kid, i would be a senior next yearbut i am having so much trouble with life. i know it's just going to get worse:/

[healingme4me]

It's oh so difficult when there's those in one's family that are hardwired to be intolerant. I almost suspect that it is its own growing pain, a unique pain that not everyone in society can understand where it's not everyone's journey. Keep in mind the silent and not so silent supporters surrounding you. Sounds like your parents are stressed over the great potential for your grandmother to not only reject you as you are, but the anguish that could bring them because you are their child? It's a delicate line they are walking. Yet, they, also aren't alone.
((((gently hugging))))

[TheSeamster]

Hey, sorry people are being ******
It's unfair for your parents to force you to out yourself. It's kind of cruel actually. I feel you on being dysphoric at school. I graduated /a year ago and i remember it being hell.
Also ever since I came out, my sister has never called me by my name and still refers to me as her sister. Family can be shite. >

BUT THIS IS ME TELLING YOU THAT YOU ARE VALID AND YOUR IDENTITY IS REAL AND IMPORTANT.

Vent as much as you need. We're here to listen. YOU BE YOU AND YOU ROCK IT. LET NO ONE TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE!