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Old Nov 29, 2015, 07:08 PM
xEquinoxX xEquinoxX is offline
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Location: Oregon
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I'm in my teens and I was born a girl but I really hate it. I hate having breasts, periods, curves and a vagina. I've felt like this for a while now, when I was eleven they taught us about sex at school and talked about childbirth and stuff like that I almost passed out. I had to leave the class and go get a drink of water. I remember telling my mom that I hated wearing a bra and wanted to have my breasts removed. Many times I've been so frustrated that I've harmed myself because it's all I can thing of doing. When I hit high school, really strange things started happening to me. I got my first crushes (both males) but although I liked them, I also wanted to be them. I started wishing I had and wondered what it was like to have a penis a lot. I also started to get a bit jealous of the boys in my class because they got to have voice cracks and pee standing up (maybe seems like a small thing but it still really bothers me lol) That was all at around thirteen or fourteen. I have binded occasionally because accidentally touching my breasts or feeling them move makes me feel nauseous. A very weird thing has been happening recently: I'll see myself with a penis mentally but physically I don't have one and it feels really strange like a disconnection between my mind and body. I'm so confused, I don't know what's going on. The guidance counselors at my school aren't taking me very seriously so I don't know if this is just a phase or something else. Sometimes, for like two seconds I'll want to be a girl but that always disappears quickly. I don't know what's happening and I'm really scared
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  #2  
Old Dec 01, 2015, 08:27 AM
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lowinmood lowinmood is offline
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I'm sure there are thousands of people who feel like you do, maybe you were born in the wrong body, and I guess only time will tell how you are going to deal with that.
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  #3  
Old Dec 01, 2015, 04:46 PM
TheSeamster TheSeamster is offline
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The way you describe it is the same way I experienced dysphoria. I'd feel physically ill at feeling certain body parts or seeing them. Physical dysphoria is tricky to deal with, but there are plenty of ways to help ease it and help yourself cope easier. I know binding really helps me. I can't function well without my binder because my breasts disgust me so much.

Have you looked into any gender resources? Are there any lgbtqa+ resources at your schooL?
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  #4  
Old Dec 01, 2015, 06:01 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Hello xEquinoxX: I'm sorry you are experiencing this difficulty. Why am I not surprised that the counselors at your school are not taking you seriously? When I was just starting high school, many years ago now, my guidance counselor told me I was going to be a bum because I couldn't tell her what I wanted to do when I grew up! Being transgender can be very confusing. Nothing you wrote is at all unusual. I would just like to suggest that, if possible, you find an therapist who is experienced in working with individuals who have gender identity concerns. Such a person can help you to sort through the confusion you are quite naturally feeling. I wish you well...
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