Only partly trans related but is this a thing?

Hello..I am a 21 year old trans girl. I finally came to terms with being trans about a year ago, and came out a few months after. At the time I'd been dating a girl for a little over a year, and she has stayed with me and helped and supported me through the process.

Now, something else has become a concern lately. Since coming out as trans and exploring women's clothing, etc, I am starting to notice a trend, and almost a concerning issue within it as well. My favorite clothes are clothes that should belong to young children. You know, poofy skirts and dresses, leggings / tall socks, bring colors and/or pastels. The only hair styles I ever see and like and desire are little girls' hair (age 8 or younger).

A side note is that the most common time I feel dysphoric / upset with being trans is when I think about going through grade school as trans and wishing I'd realized I was trans many years or decades ago.

Now, none of what I said should be truly concerning, I realize, but something just doesn't feel right to me. Yesterday I was at a two-level clothing store and saw a mannequin on the above floor wearing a cute skirt and leggings and thought to myself "that looks cute, I might want that". It wasn't until I was upstairs and right next to it that I realized the mannequin was of a maybe 4-year-old girl. For some reason my mind felt 0 dissociation from that mannequin. Like there was different between the mannequin and myself. Nothing clicked and said "Hey, that's not for you."

For a while now I've felt, and have been recently realizing, that I want to be viewed in society as a young child. I never want to associate with the term "women", just girl. I call myself a transgirl, not a trans woman for this reason.

Is this a thing? Is this normal? One psychological theory I can think of is I could just have a deep desire to experience growing up as a girl instead of just becoming one, but idk

It may not be "normal" necessarily, but the idea that you may be trying to capture that childhood could explain it.

I'm 20 and I actually shop in young boys and juniors clothes. I prefer being called a "demiboy" rather than a guy or man. I think it's cus we are still kinda young, and not fully out of the idea of being teens (I know I don't feel any different mentally now than I did when I was 17 except less depressed tbh), we don't quite view ourselves as full adults? (This is all speculation).

Perhaps it's just a style thing? Maybe those things just appeal to you more. I mean clothes don't have age or gender restrictions technically speaking. I dunno, just throwin some stuff out there.

Hello MirandaLee: I see this is your first post... welcome to PsychCentral! PC is a great place to gain support as well as to obtain information regarding mental health concerns. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here.

Ya know... I'm in my mid 60's now. And I often have to remind myself that I'm an old person not a teen anymore! I recall my father once saying, when he was in his 60's, that he didn't feel any different, on the "inside", than when he was young.

But, also, I think that many, if not all, of us who are trans regret not having had the experience of growing up as our true selves. So, personally, I don't find anything you've written to be out of the ordinary. And, as far as the difference between the terms "girl" & "woman" go, I think there is a tendency in our society in general to associate the term "woman" with a more mature person. And, likewise in our youth-oriented society, few people want to think of themselves as old... I certainly don't... even though I am.

So, from my perspective, I would say: relax. All is well... I send you my best wishes...

Thank you both for the thoughtful replies. I guess I can explain it as a desire for that childhood, to experience what I missed out on all this time. I wonder if some counseling can help with this if it doesn't go away on its own but for now I'll hold onto that conclusion

Most likely the want to grow up as a girl is it, I feel this desire to wanting to grow up as female and I'm only 12 coming on 13. This is something you should try to figure out how to cope with for yourself, like support or other stuff.