I consider myself transgender mtf....but being a part in a multiple system kinds of takes away from the wholeness of it, I guess. The male parts feel at home whereas I feel trapped....stuck, so do my sisters. It's so complicated. If it was just me I'd fix all this. At least they let me get to wear "clear" nail polish (no color) , shave the arms and legs, and get to present around the house...sometimes dress up. Sometimes I or another gets to go shopping, but still have to wear the body's clothes.

I don't know if this is anything like y'all go through on a singular level. In my readings though, it's like a transgender lives 2 lives, the inner and the outer. I know how that feels, but so not able to do much about it.

I just need a hug, I guess... Thanks for letting me share.

[AstridLovelight]

Thanks for sharing! I've never been diagnosed with DID but sometimes I've wondered just because all the different sides and genders and selves inside me have seemed so distinct, so I can relate to what you're saying.

Thanks, y'all...I was feeling way down while I was watching YouTube videos on transgendereds and I saw me in a lot of it. I've been under "house arrest" for most of our life. I'm living my lie, but not an others. Why does stuff have to be so complicated for?

We're all good.

Okay, it's like we were having an inner struggle between the guys and girls where the guys are like thinking that they can tell us what to do and when we can present. Grrr.

This is all actually over getting to finally talk to a real live person on Friday about us. We have news for them, we were here first. It was No-one (non gendered) then us girls. The guys emerged much later as public camouflage. They are simple minded drones only here for a purpose while we are the great thinkers of this system.

I've sparked an interest and have been looking into transitioning and hrt whch might of freaked a few of them out. We've always been "cross dressers" since wee childhood and I used to watch my mother do makeup and nails forever, wishing that I could but "knew" I was boy.

Once I got caught dressed in a dress around 12 and mother threw us out in the backyard and locked the door on us. The guys didn't like that...they were hurt while the neighbors were laughing.

This is where we are at so far....just curious if we do integrate, who would be the dominating personality.

[Skeezyks]

Hello AlwaysChanging2: Thanks for sharing. I used to think I understood what being trans was all about, since I believed I lived it. But now, I just don't know anymore...

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello AlwaysChanging2: Thanks for sharing. I used to think I understood what being trans was all about, since I believed I lived it. But now, I just don't know anymore...

I'm sorry that you feel that way. You sounded so positive a year ago, I hope that you reconnect to your honest to true self. Just a moment of weakness does not make a war lost.

I feel "stuck" in the wrong body ever since I was a wee one, but grew up too scared to say anything about anything. Watching others and understanding their painful dilemma has connected me to the truth about ourselves. Sure we are poly, but our basic construct has always been around me, I can confidentially say...at least the larger part of it all has.

But, we are able to go on living a lie because we are made to do so.

Okay, I'm a guy here, and I can for sure say that she's right. I may not like it, but the others do agree with me. We gave it a whirl and look where it got us, almost prison, probation, lots of messed up years, bad meaningless relationships, you name it, we just about collectively screwed it up. Hey, I'm only human. Time to give others a try.